i think i've forgotten to smell the roses

i'm not sure if that's an adequate description of how i'm feeling but i'll try to elaborate.

i sort of feel like i'm going thru the motions of life but not really appreciating what i have.

so many people experience hardship, grief, illness, trauma - i feel i take things for granted and am not grateful for the simple things. how can i work on myself to change this?

i'm scared i'm going to look back on parts of my life and wonder why i wasn't happy and wish i had of done things differently. not so much done things differently, but FELT things differently.

okay so this may be a better way to explain myself - you know how when someone goes through something really monumental it becomes life changing (and it can often be something traumatic), it makes them re-assess everything in their life and really start appreciating every moment, how do i get this result from just wanting to change, but without having the monumental moment...?

:confused:

You've taken the first step by acknowledging it.

All you need to do now is gradually start to smell the roses, take a couple of minutes a day to fully be in the now and appreciate your life, or at least aspects of it.

:hug:

Firstly :hug: forming new habits can really help. I am a bit the same, suffer from anxiety that stems from nothing other than me looking at the glass half empty for much of the time. I recently started a blog where I give thanks, for anything and everything. I have found that pure and simple gratitude has changed my life and the way I look at it. I was initially blogging each day and it eased up a little now, but if I find myself going back to thinking negatively I go back and start being thankful. You could try something similar, keeping a journal or something and you will find it won't take long before your whole outlook changes from making a conscious decision about it.

There are lots of articles out there about gratitude, there is a page on FB called 365 Grateful the Documentary - worth having a look, and what triggered my shift was a book called One Thousand Gifts. Good luck - as Sopdet said sounds like you have taken the first step oxoxox

thank you... excellent suggestions and also something i think i will teach my kids to do daily also... i am going to look up the FB page and book you mentioned know.

just a question re: blogs.... does it keep forever? what i mean is, i used to quite like to journal, and also look back on things past written... so if i switch to blogging on the internet, do i have this option to go back years from now and see what i wrote, or am i better to write in a journal? sorry i have no experience with blogs.

Most blogs will allow you to come back to them ages later - I've had my livejournal one for about the last 7 years, I don't really use it that much anymore but it's still there when I have a long headspace kind of piece that I don't really want to share with anyone.

For me I found taking the time to slow down and to indulge in little things that just plain felt good without feeling guilty was the key to appreciating how fortunate I am. Things like climbing up the rocks to my favourite little place next to a waterfall to just sit in the sunshine and enjoy the warmth, going for a walk in the park, soaking in a hot bath or singing along to my favourite music without giving a fig for what people think...

My good friend gave me a lovely little book called "When I loved myself enough" by Kim McMillen - it's full of positive affirmations but the overall message is that it isn't selfish to be loving towards yourself, that it's ok and even necessary to love ourselves before we can truly love someone else.