how much for an almost 11 month old?

Hi,

My almost 11 month old (in one more week) has been BF and also we do BLS.

Initially I was demand feeding, but I have now gone back to work 2-3 days per week.
At first I would go down and feed her 2-3 times per day but I can't keep doing that.
I have tried giving her EBM and she WON'T take it - not from a bottle, a cup, a sippy cup, anything. I guess I left introducing it too late.

And with BLS she is not much of an eater, more a grazer or picker. I know "food is fun until they're one" but I would have thought that she would be eating more by now.

So...
she gets BF when she wakes (around 6.30), porridge for breakfast, then a quick top up BF before we get in the car, 1 hour drive to day care. Then they are trying to persevere with EBM, and I go down about 3.00 to BF, and then she has a BF when I pick her up at 5.00pm and then dinner at home 6.30 and BF to bed. Then she has a night feed or 2 (or 5! depending on what she wants - I really want her to sleep at night though, I am exhausted!).

on our not working days, it's a bit more casual and she would have BF breakfast, sleep, BF, lunch, nap, BF, dinner, bath, BF, bed, night, BF. Sometimes the meals might be before the BF depending on what's going on.

So my questions are... (based on what I have been told I SHOULD be doing)....

- how many BF should she be having at this age? (Nurse told me only 3 and only AFTER each meal) and do I BF before or after a meal? If I do it before she won't be as hungry, but I leave it to after, she gets the cranks and won't eat anyway. Sometimes I do try and do only one side, but that also depends on time - because it takes her 45 min to an hour to graze (read play) through her solids.

- should she be night feeding and if so, how many? (I was told NONE at her age) I would love to say other settling strategies work, but alas, so I find I just shove the boob in..

- and how can I get her to eat more solids because I do think she is hungry. We are having HUGE sleep issues, and I am beginning to think it is food/hunger related, though the "boob to sleep" is definately a factor. (Maybe my supply is drying up and that is contributing to her hunger??? just a thought?)

- and should I be trying to offer her some other "milk" (aka formula or even regular milk) in small doses because of what she is not getting at day care.

I am not even sure where this is going, but any advice appreciated. :)

I don't think there are any 'shoulds' at this age, some bubs only have 3 or 4 breastfeeds a day, others have 10+ (my DD). It depends what works for mum and bub. I was seperating BFs and solids (we did BLS) , but breastfed first in the morning at this age. A bit later (12 or 13 months) i started doing solids for breakfast first thing and then BF later.

I also offered more small meals rather than big main meals, sometimes she was interested and other times not.

My DD fed over night every night until 15 months. She was then ok with a backrub if she woke up. Some night she wants a feed (she has been sick too) but its not every night. I never forced the night weaning (but i was still ok with doing it and we co-sleep so i wasn't having to get up). I began offering a cuddle or backrub before a feed if she woke, and initially she would just let me know that nah, she wanted a bf. but over time, she began to settle some times just with the cuddle.

My DD took awhile to eat large amounts, some of this was just time and also offering small things more often helped. Does your LO like yogurt?

My DD never took EBM either. She would drink water, but usually just made up her fluids when i got back from work. i never tried formula, but now she will sometimes take cows milk. It was really only after i got pregnant, and my supply decreased though that she would take cows milk, and its not her fav.

I'm not sure there's any 'shoulds' For examples sake, at 11 months, my DS has 4-6 everyday (inlcuding night feeds). He feeds at 6.30am(ish), I offer at 11 as he's always had it after his naps, but he seems to be dropping this one (like he did his afternoon one). Then he has one at bedtime and I dreamfeed him before I go to bed. He'll sometimes wake up over night for a feed as well. I offer before his food, but I don't know if this is 'right' or 'wrong'- I just do what's working for us. FWIW DS eats ALOT, but he takes a long time doing it. If you DD grazes, maybe have a variety of foods that you can offer throughout the day. I don't think there needs to be a set time.

In terms of night feeding, Why not? I wondered about this when DS starting feeding overnight again (he doesn't do it ALL the time) Our overnight play goes like this. Hubby tried to settle first, then if that doesn't work, I go in and try a cuddle, but seriously, boobies are magic. I figure either he needs a drink (I know I drink a full glass of water overnight) or he needs the comfort. Mind you, I don't work, so I can catch up on sleep. If shoving the boob in works, keep doing it. I don't know how to parent without my boobs yet.

Oh, and DS doesn't take EBM either. He drinks quite a lot of water though. We keep a bottle around for him to 'play' with, and he picked up how to drink pretty quickly, but when he wants it instead of when we think we should be offering it. I'm now wondering if we try milk again he'll take it now. I can't express anymore though, so it'll be a different type!!

Big hugs, I hope you find some answers/validation for what you're doing, everybody is different, you've just gotta figure out what works for you. If overnight feeding is working, and you're happy with it, don't let anyone tell you it shouldn't be happening xx

Ok, like the others have said, I don't think there are any 'SHOULD's' or 'SHOULD NOT's' that you should be worrying about right now. It's a difficult time when they start childcare and a big adjustment for both of you. I think it is great that you have been going in to feed her during the day and if you can keep it up, fantastic, but if you can't, don't beat yourself up either.

My DS also started childcare at 11 months, but it was 1 or 2 days a week to begin with. Like you we did BLS (which was hit and miss) and pretty much did demand feeding (but it was more a case of I offered and he took it most of the time). At this stage he was having 4 feeds a day - when he woke up in the morning, before morning and afternoon nap and before bed. I seperated the BF and food at around the 10 month mark from memory and did see a noticeable difference in the amount of food he would eat.

When he started CC I sent along EBM, but he wouldn't take it. But he did eat well there. I wasn't able to come along and BF him, so it was a case of take the EBM or go without. He ended up going without, but would still have a feed in the morning when he woke, when I picked him up and then before bed at night. On the days he was home with me he fed as per normal. But he also ate a lot of food while he was there to compensate.

Eventually he dropped down to one nap a day, so we went to 3 BF's. Then at some stage he stopped having a feed before his nap and only had the morning and evening ones. We eventually weaned at 22 months.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is don't stress too much about what you should or shouldn't be doing. I found it much easier to go with the flow and adapt as necessary. And i think the best thing to remember at this stage is that she won't starve herself.

thanks for your replies ladies, sorry I am so slow in responding, I just don't seem to get on BB as much as I'd like, added to that we've had the "house of ills" (DH, then DD, then DH again then me - fortunately all on the mend now...)

It's reassuring just to read your replies - I have realised that I get "should-ed" quite a bit, and it makes me question what I am doing with DD. I probably do need to offer her more snacks during the day than I currently am, so thanks for that reminder.

And of course she has lost a bit of weight this last week (she had "slap-cheek fever") and pretty much refused all food and most BF as well for a week, taking only water. She is starting to eat again now, but has been quite picky about what she wants and eating much smaller portion sizes than even before. I have pretty much left her to it and she has really wanted to eat just bread and pasta, but tonight she did eat some peas. I keep saying to myself, that she is just doing what is normal (eg, when I have been sick all I want to eat is some toast or something bland).

I just have to try and not get disheartened when I read all these posts about how wonderful BLS babies eat, or listen to the aunts/in-laws/etc.

thanks again ladies.
Now if you could just help me with getting her to have a nap.... LOL...