He has been suspended!

My not so DS12 has been suspended for 5 days!! I am so angry with him right now that I have sent him to his room till A) I speak to his father about it and B) I work out what to do with him.

A boy in his Home Ec class bought a hip flask of vodka to school and they (about 9 of them) all had some.
DS knew it was wrong and hesitated when the lid shot was passed to him but then realised everyone had done it so he thought he had better too! AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH :wall::wall:
I think that is why im so angry with him. Not having the backbone to stand up to his friends and not bow to the pair-pressure he felt. He said they werent even pressuring him anyway but he was curious and he didnt want to be left out.
He didnt carry on drinking more like the rest did but that was only because it tasted gross and he didnt like it.
I told him that I completely understand his been curious but that it was incrediably irresponsible and if he had have come home and told us that "so and so bought Vodka to school today and I wanted to try it but didnt" then I would have given him a shot to try here in front of me in our home, knowing full well that straight vodka does taste gross and he wouldnt want to try it again. (please dont judge or shoot me if you dont agree with this)

Im very torn. Although I can see how and why this happened I cant help but think of the bigger picture here. Him being so concerned about his mates and what they think, that he is willing to go against his better judgement and risk possible - actual in this case, trouble.

I get that friends are the be all and end all at his age but it really scares me. This time a silly nip of vodka whats next??

Any advice would be greatly recieved as I want to keep the punishment relative but I also want to instill the long term effects of these kind of situations and deter him as much as possible.

Kids get bored and try stuff its a part of life, maybe he wasnt actually peer pressured maybe he made the decision to try it? I understand though I wish they didnt have access to this sort of stuff untill they were of age and definatly not at school, so i guess maybe you could educated him on the effects of alcohol and the dangers. Make him understand the dangers of alcohol on teens. I wish I had some better advise but definatly talk to your husband and come up with a punishment together
Let us know how you go:)

:hug: Oh that sucks! Are you at home to care for him for the next five days? Maybe you could contact the school and find out what work he will be missing out on while he is at home so he has something to do during the day that will mean he is not behind when he goes back. Otherwise there used to be a CAP program in Tennyson for student who were suspended in the Corinda District Office area (pretty much they go to a school with other kids who were suspended and they do some behaviour training for the length of their suspension) ... don't know if Forest Lake is in that catchment or not but their might be something like that he can go to if you don't want him at home. You could contact Education Queensland and find out - all of that is assuming he is at a state school.

Massive :hug: to you, I know that feeling of dissapointment, it's not nice. I found letting them know how much their actions have dissapointed me helps a little. In this case, as it happened at school and they are giving him a punishment I wouldn't punish him further at home. All the best hun.

Regards,
Dianne

Yes I am home so I dont have to worry about finding someone to look after him and the school has work on their website for suspended children so he will be doing that as well as his assignment that isnt due for another two weeks.

I have played the very disappointed card Dianne which im not sure if it went in or over his head, but to be honest I cant believe he has been given five days.
Well its actually five and a half days as I had to pick him up at lunchtime and he is not allowed back till next Wednesday! I realise they have their rules and regulations to follow and given that there was alcohol involved it is considered very serious but I dont see how the punishment fits the crime, him being away from school so long???

DH will be home soon and DS has been oh so helpful and asked if he can cook dinner tonight? Am I a bad mother for taking advantage of his guilt?? :D

I honestly don't understand why they do normal suspensions and not in school suspensions! When i was in high school i hated it, didn't fit in so i would try to get suspended. I'd talk to his principal and try get them to do in in school suspension that way he still does all his class work and doesn't actually miss anything besides interaction with friends.

Let him cook up a storm, that's a good sign that he wants to help, he's feeling bad for what he did.

Regards,
Dianne

:hug: