My positive, private, posterior labour
Ok so I started writing this all down and it ended up being 4 pages long! So here is a summary so you don’t have to read the whole thing! Skip this bit if you feel like a long read!
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I (finally) went in to labour at exactly 41 weeks pregnant, during bible study. We’re calling 11pm the start of labour as that’s when the contractions were strong and fairly regular. At about midnight I called the hospital as my contractions were roughly 4 mins apart, although erratic, and despite all my best fetal positioning efforts, bub was posterior and I had epic back pain.
Thankfully the 40 minute trip to the private hospital took only 25 mins in the middle of the night (and a little extra pressure on the accelerator!) I got to hospital at about 2am, and had the midwife all to myself as there was no one else in the delivery ward. After a bit of monitoring, I spent most of my labour in the shower, and to the midwife’s surprise, was fully dilated by about 5am. I had even gone through transition without realising. My pain control strategies (thanks to JuJu Sundin’s Birth Skills) were squeezing my stress ball, and vocalising with loud ‘aaahs’ to match and drown out the pain- no drugs! I remember my first stage as a very positive experience despite the pain.
The midwife broke my waters at about 5am, which put me into a nice 20-min latent phase. When the contractions started again, I was trying different positions, nothing seemed to work. When my Ob arrived, she got me into a semi-reclined birthing position, pulling my legs back with each contraction. This worked better, and she coached me through the rest of the second stage, which was about an hour and a half all together. I did not enjoy the second stage at all (it felt like he was coming out through my tailbone!) and ended up with a second degree tear. But nonetheless, at 6:54am on Tuesday the 16th August, little EJ entered the world, crying before he was even fully out! So about 8 hours all up, not bad for a posterior first birth! He pinked up really quickly (agpars 9 and 9) and once I was all stitched up, he enjoyed a nice breastfeed and a long cuddle before he even left my chest!
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The full version:
I had such a wonderful pregnancy. Apart from the anxiety that comes from two previous losses, there were no problems at all. No morning sickness, perfect blood pressure- just lots of hunger and exhaustion! I found having a private Ob was what I needed to fight the anxiety. She was a very no-nonsense type and kind of shot down all my worries, convincing me that everything was fine! The appointments were always quick and I sometimes wondered if it was worth the money (although the clinic we found was really affordable- no management fee, just a specialist visit charge each time) but after every appointment my anxiety levels went right down, so it was definitely worth it for me- and getting to see bub on the little ultrasound machine each visit was really special!
We were calling bub Squidge, and little Squidge was growing well. He was so wanted, and planned (including charting my cycle etc) so I knew exactly when he was conceived- the 15th Nov 2010. This gave us a due date of 8/8- a pretty cool date. Unfortunately he wasn’t convinced, and decided to start his journey out when I was 41 weeks- giving him the also pretty cool birthday of 16/8, a date he shares with the best man from our wedding.
At 40wk 3d (a Thursday) I had an Ob appointment and she did a quick internal. She said that my cervix was soft and ready to go, and probably a centimetre or two dilated. She said she expected to see us on the weekend. That weekend was a busy one- we had a commissioning service for our good friends and then on Monday, our last bible study with them- we didn’t want to miss out. I know my bestie was praying that I’d go into labour during that connect group- which is exactly what happened! I’d had another Ob appointment that day and she stripped my membranes, so I thought that the strong Braxton hicks contractions I was getting were probably a result of the sweeping and might not mean much at all. But by the time we got home from connect (about 10:30pm) they had gotten quite strong.
Squidge had been breech at 33 weeks, which had me a little worried, but after a few sessions of chiropractic treatment (or maybe just inevitably) he was vertex again by 35 weeks. I had been reading a lot about fetal positioning, and so I knew he spent some of his time posterior (although usually in a more favourable ‘left occiput transverse’ position). I had a feeling I would end up in posterior labour, and despite my best efforts to use gravity to keep him in a good position, he ended up posterior when labour started. And right from the beginning, the pain was in my back, confirming my suspicions.
I thought I might like to try to get to sleep for a little while, but I also wanted to get on my hands and knees with every contraction to try to help him turn. I quickly realised I would not be getting to sleep! I got my DH to time the contractions (he quickly downloaded an app!) and already they were about 4 minutes apart and lasting 45 seconds each (this was about midnight). About every second time I would also get a shorter 25sec wave of pure back pain halfway in between. They were never regular like clockwork, but nonetheless I called the hospital and they said to take a shower and head in (I live about 40 mins from hospital). So I had a shower, which took a while as I was getting down onto my knees every time a contraction hit. Getting everything into the car also took a while so it was about 1:40am by the time we left.
I had been reading JuJu Sundin’s Birth Skills (sooo great!) and by this stage I was already appreciating having my stress balls to bash on things, and I think I had already started vocalising (making ‘aaah’ noises to drown out the pain).
The contractions in the car were not pleasant- I couldn’t get my back in a good position, so the intensity was increased. But although I was expecting to have 10 or so contractions in the car, in the middle of the night (and maybe going a little faster than usual) it only took us 25 minutes! I have never been gladder to see the sign for the hospital!!
We arrived at the hospital at 2:07am and went upstairs. The midwife, Jenny, had just been having a snack- there was no one else on the ward. Not long after we arrived, my mum showed up (as planned). Jenny took us in and got me hooked up to the monitors. It was nice to have a rest lying on my side and to hear his heartbeat and know everything was ok. She also told us that although I only felt the intense pain of the contractions for a minute or so, they were actually much longer. She confirmed he was posterior, but I hadn’t really doubted it. I was surprised she didn’t do an internal. I am curious to know how far dilated I was at this point, but was thankful for the minimal invasiveness! I remember I kept thinking my waters were breaking, but it was just more show.
The three of them took turns massaging my lower back, which was great. I also kept on squeezing my stress balls. I wanted to bang them on things but moving my arms meant moving my spine and that made the pain worse, so I stuck with squeezing. We had brought along a stereo to play music from my iPhone. At my request, my best friend had recorded herself playing piano- riffs and power chords from my favourite worship music. This was perfect as there were no lyrics to interrupt my focus, but the music was powerful and emotive. My main technique though was my vocalisation. Each time a contraction came, I started making the aaah noise, and when the pain got greater, my noises got louder. It was a really proactive ‘drowning out the pain’. I thought I must have sounded stupid, but later mum said it was fantastic, as they knew exactly when I was contracting, and how intense it was! They were also helping me regulate my breathing, as I would breath out with the ahh, then finish each breath in between.
After a while, I tried a few other positions. I had always imagined myself leaning forward over a beanbag, but holding myself up in any way was far too hard. Jenny suggested I get in the shower, and this ended up being fantastic. DH changed into his boardies and I sat on a plastic chair with DH in front of me, and with each contraction I either stood and hung off him, or got on my knees with my head on his stomach. We moved the stereo into the bathroom, and I listened to one song, Our God is Greater, on repeat for hours (which I think might have gotten annoying for everyone except me!). The bridge has a really strong beat and the perfect lyrics for the moment- “and if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us, and if our God is with us, then what can stand against?” For the most intense of the contractions, I just matched the pain with really loud aahs and focused on the noise. My mum didn’t have swimmers so she sat outside the bathroom and even got a bit of marking done while she sat there!
At about 4am (? I’m not really sure of the timings here) I started feeling a bit different- I think maybe some rectal pressure. So the midwife got me out to check how far along I was. She was surprised and impressed to find that I was already 8cm. She actually said “you must have a high pain threshold” – I totally don’t! But I’m going to remember those words!! She said to hop back in the shower and have a few more contractions and then I’d be ready to push. It wasn’t much longer in the shower before I felt a lot more pressure, and this time when she got me out I was aaalmost fully dilated. The midwife called my Ob, who said that they should break my waters (I may have fully dilated by this point?) – I was worried that it would hurt but I barely felt it and it was such a relief once they broke!
This actually put me into a latent phase for about 20 mins, which was a great rest. I had a few weaker contractions, which enabled me to try out what positions I might like to push in. I had thought I’d like to be over the beanbag, or over the birthing bar, but these positions felt really wrong- and I had no strength to hold myself up. I tried on my side for a bit, using the sides of the birth bar to push against with my legs, but as the contractions got stronger again, it became clear that I was not pushing productively in that position. I think I had prepared very well mentally for the first stage, and I knew that the second stage required some very focussed pushing- I think I prepared for how to push, but I didn’t expect it to be so very painful and feel so un-natural. I certainly didn’t expect it to take so long! Apparently though this is common for a posterior labour.
When my Ob got there (maybe 6ish?) I was tiring, and not getting very far. I don’t think urge to push was very strong, so I was trying to make it happen each time with little success. But my Ob was so fantastic. She quickly got me into a semi-reclined position, and got me to grab my legs with my arms and pull back as I pushed with my chin on my chest. She was also really bossy, which sounds bad but was exactly what I needed at the time (“come on, I need another one, more, more!”). My mum held one leg and the midwife held the other. The baby was finally turning AS he went through my pelvic floor. Once I felt pain in my perineum, it was a little easier to know where to push, but it just felt so wrong to find what hurts most and do that even harder! I still had a lot of pain in my sacrum, and I very much felt like the baby was coming out of my rectum! By this stage vocalising couldn’t help me as I had to internalise each breath and use it for pushing, but some pretty loud grunts and maybe even screams escaped while I tried! At one point, when he started to crown, I saw my Ob reach for a tray of equipment and I yelled “don’t cut me!” haha- she said she wasn’t even considering it. When he was properly crowning, the next contraction took what seemed like forever to come so I was at maximum stretch for ages! I think this might have been when I tore.
I had my eyes tightly shut for pretty much the whole second stage, and once he was mostly out, they said “open your eyes” but I was like “no!” haha cos I still had pain in my sacrum where I think he was kicking me on the way out! I heard him cry (before he was even fully out!) and then a warm, wet, squiggly thing was placed on my chest. THEN I opened my eyes! Little EJ had entered the world! 6:54am. That moment was exactly what I had pictured- and his little face was just amazing. My DH cut the cord and I just stared at this amazing little guy. I can remember the midwife saying that he had a very “boy” face- the start of many compliments he would get in the weeks ahead! He pinked up really quickly too (Agpars of 9 and 9).
I know they say that when you see your little baby, you don’t even notice passing the placenta, and getting stitched up etc, but I did! I guess it wasn’t pain on the level that labour had been but I felt the injections of the local, and I felt the stitches go in and I didn’t like it!! I needed a few stitches for a second degree tear. I got some sympathy over that tear, as well as the bruising, from the midwives and then later my GP when they looked at that area, so I know it was a bit of a nasty one, but of course could have been so much worse. And I am glad it was a natural tear, even if an episiotomy would have been smaller or heal better I don’t care.
I actually have no idea how long passed, but before long he attached on and had a feed. (I think they were going to help him attach, but I wanted to let him do it on his own, and he pretty much did.) It was just incredible. We got to cuddle for quite a while, and then they took him to weigh him etc. I remember being surprised when they took him away that I had all this white goo on my hands haha, as if I’d forgotten that he’d been put there straight out of the birth canal!! He weighed in at exactly 4000grams (8p13oz) and 52cm, with a 37cm head circ.
He cuddled with his Dad for ages while I got cleaned up and had a nice long nap before managing a shower (seated- I don’t think I stood up properly for ages!) and then I got a wheelchair to my ward (and had another nap!).
I think that will pretty much do for my story- I was in a fair bit of pain for the next few days (proving I do NOT have a high pain threshold!), not just from the tear, but my muscles ached (who knew pushing out a baby used so many muscles!!) and my nipples were really sore- but I refused everything except paracetamol, to keep my breastmilk as pure as possible.
He was born Tuesday morning and we went home Saturday lunch time. I am so glad I got those 4 nights in hospital- I would not have been ready to go home before that. I had a lot of support from the midwives, I really wish I still had an expert on call at the press of a button! It was great to have meals cooked for me (even if EJ did decide he was hungry pretty much every mealtime! The food was not bad for hospital food but it is much worse cold!) It was also great to have visiting time regulated, once I got home that was harder and I got quite tired from the constant stream of visitors!
I could keep writing about all the experiences of the few weeks since that day, but I think this has been long enough!
