[ADVICE] I might have to wean :(

Hello lovely people,

I am after some advice. This is hard one for me, as I had envisioned that baby M and I would only stop BF when she was good and ready.

However, I am unwell: with high temps, headaches nausea etc. and this has been going on now for roughly 5 weeks (with 5 days reprieve somewhere in the middle). Basically I am copping every virus that i come into contact with.

Which brings me to my dilemma. I am now finding BF nigh on impossible. I feel so so weak after each feed (she is demand fed) and because i am unwell, i guess my supply is a bit lower and she is also seeking extra comfort so is feeding ALOT. but even on a normal scale, atm i am finding it really hard to even hold her.

Part of me is saying to just wait it out, but I have had a time in my BF journey with DD1 where I had a chronic illness for roughly 10 months (and I BF through that), and well, I just dont want any risk of prolonging recovery ITMS.

Do you think by BF i could be asking too much on my body? Or is it separate??

I dont really want to stop, but I also dont want to put myself in a position of a long drawn out illness...

Please help :(

I think that it may be mostly separate.
Lack of sleep is correlated with being sick, and if your LO is now waking you for more feeds then that is a bit of a nasty cycle.

But the number of nasty viruses going around at the moment is horrendous - we have also had what seems like a non-stop run (courtesy of DS collecting them at childcare/swimming/kindy; he gets somewhat sick and DH and I get somewhat sicker). And we really can't blame the few feeds he has a week for making us run down.

If anything your immune system should work better whilst breastfeeding, so stopping now may not be very good for getting rid of the virus.
And I am a bit concerned that by blaming BF-ing you may be missing another more important issue.

Can you make your own nutrition, gentle exercise and sleep your priorities, without full on weaning? Try feeding lying down (on the floor if you have to) so that you don't have to hold miss M, and so that ideally she can come to you. And can your partner take on more night duty (armed with bottles if need be) for a little while?

I hope things improve.

thank you so much for your reply :hug:

It was kinda what I was hoping to hear :)

There is alot of pressure by DH and family to wean as they all believe that it is contributing to my pretty crappy immunity, which has not helped as of course they are now really applying the pressure while i am down.

we do feed lying down most times (do alot of co-sleeping etc). but i am finding the physical exertion of even doing these feeds atm really hard to handle. but like you said, it might be more related to the virus generally than the BF :dunno:

I am so lost :(

I have an appointment with the the chinese dr and the naturopath coming up as yeah, there must be other issues going on as I seem to quite vulnerable to lurgies (rhuematic fever 3 weeks ago and now this!!!).

You may want to consider swapping from "demand feeding" to Mummy-led-a-bit-more feeding.
Things like offering some food and water and a cuddle during the day before offering a BF. I think that your DDs clinginess is probably as much separation anxiety as anything else (i.e. I know Mum can't leave me if I have her nipple hostage), and she may actually be OK with lots of cuddles and less feeds.

Oh you poor thing!
She's 1 now, right? (already!) So a mummy-led approach might work better. Do you have someone else who can help with nighttime wakings?
And your immunity would be higher when breastfeeding, yeah
Really hope you're doing better soon

Interestingly, this is happening *in spite* of breastfeeding - not because of it. You have breastfed long and well, but this is an illness, not caused or exacerbated by breastfeeding. You will get better whether or not you are breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is actually designed to be *easy* on your system. It does not suppress your immune system. And many mothers find that it is an easy way to comfort a high needs toddler. The pressure mums get from relatives to wean is dreadful and often insurmountable, but those rellies often *disappear * when you are up trying to comfort a baby *without* breastfeeding. So think carefully before you wean altogether

Cassius, so sorry to hear you are not well. I was wondering why I didn't see you Friday ;)

I really hope you are able to get on top of this without weaning as I thought you and Miss M looked so absolutely beautiful when I saw you feed her last. It is so hard when you really love it but it also makes you feel extra run down, extra put upon and really in need of all the strength you can muster when you are sick.

I don't really have any practical advice but I am glad some others with wisdom have confirmed that BF should not be putting your body under any more stress. I was going to suggest a Chinese Doc or Natropath so I am glad you already have that covered. I found my Chinese Doctor was fantastic for building up my system from the inside and keeping me going when I was super run down earlier this year. I hope you get some answers, some nurturing and some good outcomes from the appointments.

As for the pressure to wean from family and friends, can you check out the ABA for literature proving that BF will not be too much to blame for being run down? Maybe some tangible information will set minds at ease.

:shakehead: at the family members making statements that they obviously don't know too much about and therefore putting doubt in your mind.

Have confidence in yourself and your body :hug:

I was going to reccomend the naturopath. I had a health issue a few months back and bfing DD didn't make it easy, for sure i wondered if weaning would make it better but DD was only 6-8 months and there was no way i was going to consider it. I was put on some fish oil (disgusting but i can't wait to get me some more) and a probiotic. In the naturpaths words 'treating me from the inside out' and it helped immensely. It does sound like maybe your body could do with an extra boost and hopefuly you can get that and your DD will benefit from it at the same time :)

Good luck xo

thanks so much guys :hug:

Reading all these words of support is just what I needed xx

It is a relief to read that the BF does not impact any further on me. Oh my gosh, what sweet relief!

I am hoping then, to roll through this illness and hopefully I can boost myself after seeing the chinese dr and naturopath. I also really do need to check out the ABA website. I think i will need a fair amount of material evidence to keep the sidelines quiet.

this is good news for Marta and I :loveshower:

Hugs hun. You have done amazingly well to get here! I just want to say, you need to do whatever YOU want to do. If you want to stop, do it and congratulate yourself for what you have already done. If you want to keep going, do it and let those who have big opinions get their hands dirty with some practical help. Either way your daughter has a loving mum who cares so much about her.

Thinking of you :hug: it's been a shocking year for germs.

I think a naturopath would be able to help. I have never felt better since taking the tonic and supplements prescribed by mine (I also radically changed my diet).

Hope you're feeling better soon

Oh Cass I"m so sorry to hear you're getting this pressure when you're already feeling so worn out after a long illness and such an exhausting time with your DDs unwell too. :hug: I don't think weaning at this stage would make a lick of difference except upset the applecart and make everything even harder to cope with.

Perhaps you could look into taking something like fastract/probiotics, get a good tonic like floradix (or similar), and definitely see a naturopath or similar. You could also take some measures to keep yourself away from illness generally, steer clear of crowds as much as you can, avoid seeing people who are sniffing/coughing, wash your hands frequently through the day, and use a hand sanitiser after you touch anything that other people touch (atm key pads, etc). Sounds like overkill but every little bit helps. xxx

oh MD i think i need overkill atm! we are sponge for all the virus family it would seem right now.

we are on probiotics and the fishies that the naturopath prescribed. but i am thinking that she will need to get me some more of her awful tasting tonic again lol. at this stage i will do almost anything for a reprieve.

thankfully DH took the advice from this thread without hesitation and has backed right off. the other family well they are still at it (this morning no less!). but i guess i will just have to get a tougher skin and fob it off. that will get easier as i get better...

Cass, I'm glad DH has gotten with the program! And here's to hardening of the skin. Which is so difficult when you're breastfeeding because the whole emotional and biochemical state leaves you much more vulnerable to criticism that you might ordinarily let slide off. But you are doing a wonderful job, and your body will heal itself in due course. Foul tasting tonic is definitely in order...mmmmm nummy LOL.

Cass you poor thing, you guys have had such a bad run of illness. I hope you are all better soon. I'm glad the ladies were able to ease your mind and that you are able to continue with breastfeeding.

quick update!

Well, i am (finally!) on the mend :dance:. my supply is getting back up there and now just to wait for the appt with the TCM to ensure that my journey can continue with a bit more ease health-wise :)

that's great news cassius! i hope you have a good appt with the TCM - i saw one before i got PG with DS & i don't think i've ever felt as good!

i hope you keep feeling better & better :hug: