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What are the pros and cons that you looked at when deciding whether to return to work or not?
How old were your child/ren when you made the return to work?
Did you return full time or part time?
And lastly - mummy guilt, if you had it, how did you overcome it?
Pros:
Have some adult time
Get my brain ticking again, on things other than child related stuff
Extra money
Cons:
Travel
Less time to spend with DD
Less time doing home stuff (cramming it into less days)
DD was 10 months old, initially looked after by DH four days per week then I eventually went part-time and am now doing a 5 days fortnight.
DD is in creche 2 days per week and every second Friday, my mum looks after her. In the early days DD was looked after by DH & myself, with me being the main carer.
Mummy guilt - DD is 4 yo & I still have it from time to time, depending on how my home/work life is suffering or is in a good place.
What are the pros and cons that you looked at when deciding whether to return to work or not?
Pros
- Adult conversation
- Using my brain/degree/skills
- Going to the toilet alone
- Drinking a hot cup of coffee
- Riding my bike to work for exercise
- Sense of personal satisfaction
- Extra money and contributing to the household money wise
- Being able to get DP to do more around the house to share the load
Cons
- Less time at home
- Less time with the kids
- Kids doing stuff at childcare that you don't see them do at home
- Lots of rushing around
- Less time catching up and socialising with friends
How old were your child/ren when you made the return to work?
12 months each time
Did you return full time or part time?
Part time both times - still am part time
And lastly - mummy guilt, if you had it, how did you overcome it?
Didn't really have it to be honest as both kids have loved childcare and we all seem to be happier when I'm working
Pros:
Money.
Being able to drink a hot coffee or tea.
Enjoying lunch without having to share.
Dressing in something other than jeans/trackies.
Cons:
Being away from the kids and feeling like I'm missing things.
Not being there when they are sick/sad.
Early starts and late nights. I'm up before the kids and once they are in bed at night, its time to do washing/cleaning/getting ready for the next day.
Housework is getting neglected while I figure out when/how to do it...
How old were your child/ren when you made the return to work?
First time - DD was 11mths.
Second time - DS was 11mths, DD was 2 and a bit.
Did you return full time or part time?
Part time. No way could I have handled full time.
And lastly - mummy guilt, if you had it, how did you overcome it?
Yep, had it. Still haven't quite worked out how to overcome it. You need to work out why you are doing it - if it is for financial benefit, which it was for me, then I concentrate on all the good things I'm doing for them by providing us a bit of extra cash. We'll be able to go on holidays, do things as a family, etc.
Good luck... it is a tough decision.
Went back to work full time when DD was 14 months, DH went part time so DD was in child care three days a week. I had to go back to work in some capacity for financial reasons and as I can earn more decided I would go back full time and DH part time. However after my initial 10 week contract up I decided hated working full time, I missed DD too much and felt really missing out so I got a part time contract 3 days a week and DH went back full time. Once I was part time did not feel guilty as DD enjoys childcare and we needed the money. The money has meant that I am able to have 14 months off with DS too.(we would not have been able to afford another if I had stayed home full time) After that I will have to work again but will only do parttime till both are at school.
Before I went back to work I used to think I would love to be a full time SAHM - but I think for me personally the mix is best, I enjoy working and make the most of the time at home.
Multiple returns to work
1st - DD1 was about 13 months - started back one day per week, then went to 2, then found more work going upto 4 days per week. Had my own bookkeeping business, then also got a part-time job - stopped due to moving, DD1 was 2 1/2
2nd -DD1 was 5, DD2 was 2 - about 3-4 days per week on a 3 month contract
3rd (and hopefully last return). DD1 almost 6 and DD2, 3 - 3 x school hour days per week with the option of 4.
No way at the moment I could do full-time. Aside from lacking access to afters school care, DD2 does not sleep through, so I am tired. We also have no family here to help out with sick kids, holidays (thankful there is at least vacation care), or even just to come and help around the house. I need at least a day off either for recovery, appointments or just plain cleaning.
Pro's
using my brain
Being out of the house
Some structure to my day/week.
Talking to adults
Having a reason for nice clothes and styling
Extra money (totally outways any extra expenses due to working)
Going back before losing skills and therefore earning capacity
Boost to confidence
Cons
Such a rush, especially with the school run on the way.
DD2 having to be in so much care
The judgement from others, especially the horrified comments of "what are you doing with the children?", like I must be leaving them at home locked in a box or something :wall:
Juggling the holidays and sick children.
Guilt - not really. Some at the start, but then I realised I am a much better person for having some work and life it a lot less stressful with some extra money coming in. I am not really SAHM material, I like the fantasy of it, but the reality is totally different.