Oprah show about Mums and what they thought...

Did you watch the Oprah Show yesterday? The show was interesting, and had women talking about their experiences as a Mother, their emotions, and how they found Motherhood in general. The audience was sort of broken up into two categories. One being Mum's who found it hard raising their babies and children, and the other being Mums who "Breezed through it"...

Just wondering what your thoughts were on being a Mum. I am finding Motherhood very exciting, and I love it soooo much. But I do admit that it is hard sometimes. I find it hard to get showered and dressed in the mornings, and seem to have just enough time to get dinner ready and do a little bit of washing or ironing. Before I know it the day is over.
The hardest thing for me having my first baby was learning that I could no longer have the time to do what i wanted when i wanted. Being someone who has a lot of hobbies, struggled to do anything, and has since given them up. I always thought that I could get things done throughout the day when DS was sleeping. Yeah right, he has never had naps! And when he did he would only sleep for 15-20min - even as a newborn.
When we brought our DS home for the first time, we felt sooo unorganized, yet we thought we were prepared! I can admit that i spent most of my days for the first few weeks in my PJ's, and sat on the lounge with bubs and watching telly most of the time. It even took me 6 weeks to take him out to the shops. And when I started getting ready at 8.00am, I was eventually ready to leave by 2.00pm. NO JOKE. I probably found the first 3months the hardest.

I was also never told what it was really like having a baby, and how hard it can be. Before I had DS I didnt even know what colic was, or that babies can get reflux. Or the constant grizzling and crying all day. I guess I was reading the wrong kind of books, as the books I read was all about the wonderful things!

The other thing is that I dont spend quality time with DH. When DS is in bed, I am running about the house doing housework, or things that I have been hanging out to do all day. It is hard fitting in that time "Together"

So I do lOVE being a Mum, but it is hard sometimes. :) However, I am full of knowledge for the next bundle of joy!

I can imagine how hard it is for Mums with more than one.
YOU ALL DESERVE A MEDAL, and a big bunch of flowers!!

Hi Ally!!!!
U sound like such a sweetheart!!!!!!!!!!!!! i'm sure ur doing a fabulous job as a mum and wife! Even just to post this shows how much u care :)

Admittedly I'm one of those lucky ones with a brilliant bub - but it wasn't always sunshine and roses - she too had reflux in beginning, and she was prem so we spent time in hosp NICU....so i do agree that parenthood is not what u expect and can't even fully prepare for it (u never know what ur gonna get!)

My only advice is that u definately try to make time for just u and ur DH - if possible. One thing we were firm on right from the beginning was OUR time and at least once a fortnight we'd get a close relo (usually my sister) or friends we were comfortable with, to mind dd so we could go out for dinner or even just coffee. That way our life didn't become completely consumed with our baby, we felt human again and had that quality time together (and/or with our friends).

I wish u the best of luck - and don't feel guilty - we all go through it - even with really good babies. Keep up the good work and focus on the positives. Take care Ally :hug:

P.S Gotta love Oprah!!!!!!!!!!!!

Awww, thanks Iluvella :) Your so kind!

I think loads of people would breathe a collective sigh of relief when a mum DARES to say it ISN"T all plain sailing.

Having a baby sounds like a lucky dip to me, you don't know how the baby is going to turn out physically or emotionally. You can nurture it in a certain way, but then the baby has it's own personality and free will and as a child will grow up a certain way. You don't get the chance to hand the child back if it doesn't turn out the way you hoped, so the whole thing sounds like a lottery to me. A lottery you gotta make the best of, cos there's no turning back, no getting a refund, or choosing a different size! (sorry, got carried away with shopping analogy there folks!) Maybe that's why parents love their kids no matter what they do or say.

It also sounds like a one way labour of love, with the mum making heaps of sacrifices. I have felt this as a part time stepmum to a disabled child so god only knows what it will be like doing it full time. But at least i will be called mummy and get some respect from the outside world.

Thank you for being honest about how hard it is EllyBoo.

I am worried i will not get to leave the house (except for walks around the block) as my car is too old to have an anchor point for the baby carseat. We have no relatives to babysit so i can't see dh and me having couple time (even if we had the money for Fasta Pasta meal). I think me and Oprah will be getting really well acquainted post-baby.

Gigi, you are right in everything you said. I have so much respect for people raising children with special needs. That would be hard emotionally too. I worry myself sick when DS has a cold!
We dont rely on anyone to baby sit DS. Not that we cant, we just dont do it!
Even if I knew how hard it was b4 having bubs, I still would have had one anyway!But I feel i would have been better prepared if I had some idea of what it was like to bring home a newborn!!
I love my little man, and wouldnt change it for the world, and would sacrifice anything for him.
Thanks for your thoughts :)

Hi Ally, wow - I feel like I am reading my own thoughts when I read your post! I actually had nearly finished typing the reply when DS 1 came along and deleted it! Doesn't that sum motherhood up!!!!!!!!! Patience and truckloads of it!

I thought I had a pretty good idea what motherhood was going to be all about. As the youngest of 4, my sisters had their children before me, and I was a very hands on aunty. I even ran my sisters household including full time care of her kids while she was in hospital having No 2 and no 3. Boy was I wrong!

Noone can prepare you for the sleep deprivation, the constant worry of - why won't he sleep, why is he crying, why won't he feed, why won't he poo and in the middle of the night when they won't attach to the breast to feed properly - why won't he leave me alone!!!! I have a girlfriend who is 34 weeks pregnant and she remindes me very much of myself, she says she knows it will be a shock, but she really has no idea!

I really struggled to bond with DS 1 and I had gone from being a fulltime professional where I could control everything around me to a full time mum and the house like a war zone! I didn't even venture out of the house for 2 weeks after getting home from hospital as I was so sore with stitches etc.

Ally I can honestly say now that No 2 is loads better! I am really really loving motherhood this time round and would love to have another straight away (DS in 4 months old). Life is definately crazier and really really busy, but everything just comes so much easier! You do not have the fear of the unknown, and you can be far more relaxed about everything. I had a far better delivery with him which also contributed to my happy state!

I think if people told us the real truth about what it is like to have your first newborn, we wouldn't have them!!!!!!!!!!

Relle,
I was the last to have bub after my siblings too, and on the outside it looked smooth sailing! I releate to all of what you say, however i was lucky to have bonded with DS. I think in part because it took so long and IVF to have him. I cried for weeks after - its a very emotional time isnt it!
You brought tears to my eyes when I read about no 2 being easier and that you love motherhood this time round. I too want this, as i felt I worried too much with no 1 about everything, and that in a way was a loss to me as i missed out on enjoying it. I will be much more relaxed with no 2. as you said, you know what to expect.
I tell you what, it is hard, but we go back for more because we just love them so much, and they bring a new meaning to life.:)

The certainly do! After being a little terror this morning my 2yo is now sitting on my lap and asked to have a pear (this is a first). It is really nice when they come and give u a cuddle just cause they want to!

My sisters 3 children were all IVF over 7 years. It was really hard watching her go through it, so I can only imagine how difficult that journey must have been for you!

My 2 nieces are twins born 2 years apart. My 2nd niece was only given a 5% chance of success when she was implanted! She was on ice for 2 years, so she really is a little miracle!!!

Ahh, I know what you mean - Twins born apart. We have 10 frozen embryos, which have been frozen for 2 years now. We will most likely end up using them for our next bub. Its weird knowing they were sort of conceived so to speak 2 years ago. On my birthday actually!!!! I am glad to hear your sister had success. I found the jouney wasnt emotional until after I had DS, as it wasnt until then that i realised what i could have missed out on. I do really feel for people who cant have children. I wouldnt feel complete without them.