Need advice on preschool and overscheduling

I'm stressing over a descision about preschools and I know only I can make it, but I am hoping someone might have some advice to help me make the decision. It is 3am and I can't sleep because it all I can think about.

I have an almost 4 year old son (as well as a 13 month old daughter) who is starting preschool tomorrow. He is going to a school that has a fantastic reputation and will be going Tues and Thurs afternoons from 1-3:30. He is excited because he has a friend in the class and the centre actually has a small pool which they will get to use once a month. The class size is large though, 20 kids. I was worried he might get overwhelmed or separation anxiety (he is prone to both) but orientation went really well and I think he might be ok. He is registered for the year and we have dropped off all our post dated cheques for the year, and pulling out will cost us our $120 deposit.

Ok so now the dilema. I live in a small town and back in the spring a montessori preschool opened with this amazing teacher, and we did a 6 week trial session. It went amazingly well. It was the first place I have ever taken my son where he went inside without so much as a backwards glance and then continued to look forward to going to. The class was only 5 kids and he was learning some great stuff. I was all set to sign him up for the school year but we were too slow to secure a spot.

Now that school has started up the montessori school has an opeing on Wednesday morning from 9:30-12:30. I was excited and wanted to sign my son up right away (and keep the other school) but my husband thinks I am overscheduling him. We don't really have THAT much else going on though. I have him signed up for swimming lessons next month but other than that we just have drop in play groups that we go to (which are all just play, but I would be willing to drop it that is too much).

He is a very bright child and gets bored being at home all day and then wants to watch TV (which I don't allow much of) so I thought it would be good for him to have preschool 3 days a week and then the other two days we can be at home or go to the drop in groups if we feel like it. My husband said it's too much though and I need to let him be a kid. I thought I was letting him be a kid, but both of us need mental stimulation. Only the preschool and swim lessons are structured activities. Putting aside from the cost of an extra day of preschool, is this too much for him? Ds tells me he really wants to do both but he is only 4.

It's not even that big of a deal but seriously it is consuming my thoughts as I need to make a decision by Thursday or he won't get a spot. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Personally at his age I think it would be too much - next year when he will be turning five, definitely do the 3 days, but he's still only 3 and you will find that it might go alright for a while, but then he will become exhausted kwim? My DS will be 4 in a few days and no way would he cope with 3 days at preschool. It is quite tiring for them. So I tend to agree with your DH. If you feel he needs the extra stimulation at home because he gets bored, then do activities with him at home and if he looks like he's had enough then you can let him rest or do his own thing kwim?

I agree with Trillian. 2 mornings a week is plenty for a 3 year old.
Maybe put him down for next year at the Montessori school.

I saw go for it, but then again I am a working mum whose son goes to childcare five days a week and LOVES it.
He is a social butterfly and much prefers the people interactions and the activities associated with care and kinder.
I guess it depends how you think he will settle.

2 of the days are only 2.5 hours and the other is 3 is that right? I think that's fine if he is fine with it. You can only try and see how he goes. My DD1 did 3 full days and 2 half days of CC and kinder combined at 4 plus swimming and dance. She is also a very busy, bright child and enjoyed the year - she is at school this year and I think it helped her with being able to get through 5 days and how tiring that is.

DD2 is 2.5 and she is at CC 2 full days and does a half day plus swimming and dance - she doesn't have a day sleep every day anymore. She is one of these kids who jump everywhere, she has so much bounce and energy. She enjoys the variety and the social aspects. I think you need to make the decision based on your child - I know some kids definitely wouldn't cope being so busy but if it works for your child then do it.

I would be choosing either one or the other- the preschool or the Montessori. I think that both would be too much. Before you know it he'll be at school 5 days a week so I wouldn't be overloading him too much at his age.

I think the hours would be ok for him, my concern would be the confusion of going to two different places as they would do things differently.

Thanks so much for your imput, I really appreciate it.

Next year DS is actually going to be in Kindergarten and they just phased out part time here, which means he will be in school full time 5 days a week. That was another reason why I thought it might help him ease into it a bit more.

I think my son would settle ok, last year we did strong start 3 days a week, drop in gymnastics one day, and library group (all free except gymnastics, and all play based, but all with me there as well) and he did well. I think it would be fine, my husband thinks it is too much but I obviously have to take what he thinks into consideration. He's a pretty social kid and loves being around other kids.

The reason he gets bored at home is I find it hard to keep two children of differnt ages busy. He wants to do one thing and then gets annoyed at me when she takes my attention away from him. Being with other kids means he doesn't mind that my attention is divided. Like I said he is very bright (started talking at 15 months) and he loved this montessori school.

Considering he will be going full-time, 5 days a week next year and the 3 days you are suggesting aren't full days I would do it.

I send DS to childcare 3 days a week because he loves it soo much.

Here in Melbourne most children go to kinder for 11+ hours a week and there is talk that these hours will increase. They are tired the first bit but usually settle in well and get used to the hours. When they are at school the hours are alot longer as it's 5 days.
Two days of 2.5 hours is not alot for them to cope with.
I think the thing you need to consider is how he will cope with the two different styles of learning and structure.
Is there any way you can try the extra day for a term to see how he goes?

Here our kids do 15hours of preschool from as early as 3.5. We do a couple of other activities and plenty of social stuff and it does wear them out but my DD is in her element.
My only worry would be the different styles as well.
Do you see him going to Montessori kinder next year?
If not, then I'm not sure I'd worry.

He's actually going to be in french immersion kindergarten next year, I WISH we had montessori kindergarten here.

I think it is a great opportunity to try both of the styles out and see which one he seems to do better with. Once you are in with the Montessori then it will be easier to get another place if you want to drop the other school. I don't think the amount of time is too much.

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I think the hours would be ok for him, my concern would be the confusion of going to two different places as they would do things differently.

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Totally agree. They are only half days after all. My DS is 2 and does 3 full days at CC and loves it! He would be going stir crazy if he was home with me all the time. But, I would also be a bit concerned about the two different places and their differing approaches to education... But all you can do is try it and see how he responds.