This is a sensitive issue re: sexuality

ok, this is a terrible thing to have happened. i feel horrible and guilty. my 5 year old was going through her dads phone and came across some porn images/videos. he noticed and snatched the phone off her. she ran to her room crying. she said she was crying cause he snatched the phone but also that she saw 'naughty not not good things'. she was very upset and wouldnt explain what she saw. she heard me yelling at him and i think that didnt help. what am i to do? i feel like all the hard work of sheltering her from all that sort of stuff has been pointless now. i dont want her to have anxiety, guilt, bad feelings towards sex in the future just from this one scary experience. she wont talk about it and i dont know what to say to her anyways. i dont want her to experiment with other kids in play situations from what she has seen either. i just dont want her to feel bad about anything. i wish she didnt even have to think about any of this yet. i feel like crying.

Oh hun, what a tough thing to have to deal with :hug:

How much does she know about sex in general? If she doesn't really know much, seeing that kind of stuff can be confronting for a young child. Especially with the reaction from her dad and then you yelling at him later - she most likely thinks she's done something wrong and you're both angry with her.

Can you sit down with her quietly and explain that sex is something for grown ups and while it might look yucky/bad/naughty etc it's really okay between two people who want to do it and love each other but isn't for kids her age? I wouldn't say much more than that or make a big deal out of it, just be straightforward and matter of fact about it.

Explain to her that you and her dad aren't angry at her, and apologise for frightening her. If she asks why you were yelling at her dad maybe tell her that it was because he should've been more careful to not have those pictures where she could find them - the same as other stuff that's for grown ups gets put away or put up high (medicines, alcohol etc).

Wouldn't worry too much about her experimenting etc, she may ask a few questions but distraction works a treat to get her mind onto something else more suitable to her age - I'd be willing to bet she's far from the first kid to find dad's stash by accident :)

I think you should have a chat to her about what she saw.. with DH too.. explain it a little at her level :dunno:

Get DH to remove all that content from his phone.. that's just not OK if your child has access to his phone.

Good Luck hun :hug:

thanks girls. she is much better now but still not wanting to talk about it. he did delete it all off his phone. she plays with mine all the time and i only have photos of us on there. our phones are exactly the same and she just thought she was in my phone i think. i think once she saw it she couldnt stop looking. i was in the computer room doing bills so i didnt even see how long she had it for. DH said she was playing his games for a while and then she must have moved into the photo/video albums but she wasnt in there for very long looking. poor little darling. the only thing we have spoken to her about in this regard (previously) is to properly name the genitals and also that no one is allowed to touch her private areas unless its mum or dad helping to wipe etc or if mum says its ok for a dr to have a look if it is sore etc. that is basically all she knows other than those areas are to poo and wee. i am so angry that it happened in the first place. !