Settling bub to sleep

Will a baby never learn to self settle unless you put him into his bed awake? My 2 month old DS cries the moment I put him down unless he's already deeply asleep - no matter if he's calm or drowsy first. This means holding him for about 20 minutes - and because he has reflux, I need to keep him upright for this amount of time anyway after feeds, so it's sort of unavoidable. He's currently catnapping during the day and everything I've read says he needs to put himself to sleep in his bed so when he wakes up after a sleep cycle, he can put himself back to sleep. But he's just so little! I can't stand to hear him cry, and re-settling in my arms or in the cot has failed me everytime. He just screams. So I pick him up and let him sit in his bouncer until his next feed.

Am I setting up bad sleep habits for the future? I'm sick of stressing about his sleeping patterns - I just want to enjoy my son!

No hun, you are not creating bad habits. Babies up unti 12 months do not have the ability to think this way.

My DD had her day sleeps in my arms many a time. She didnt self settle in her cot during the day until about 6 months when she magically switched. So I say, enjoy the snuggles whilst you can, they are only little for a short amount of time.

Your son is not a book, he is a baby, and babies are all different. If in doubt, just remember this "Whatever works".

No. It's fine.
It's totally normal for little oens to need help to settle. Right now, they need physcial help - feeding, rocking, cuddling etc. As they get older that changes into stories, cuddles and good night. It's ok to just do whatever he needs for now, it will all change in time.
Don't, please, don't spend this precious time stressing about it. You don't get these days back! I nkow you've probably got a little voice in your head telling you it's all wrong (not to mention things people have probably told you...?) - just tell it to shut up if you can. Oh, and in all seriousness, chuck those books away.
You're doing just fine like this :)

cuddling to sleep is AOK! in fact, i swear by it and i have two kids that have no fear of sleep to attest to it!

so if you guys are having a fabulous time cuddling or feeding to sleep then just go for it :). there are no bad habits created and like MadB mentioned, soon enough those cuddles will transform into goodnight stories and a kiss on the cheek and you'll be dreaming of the early days of milky cuddles :loveshower:

:hug: Isn't it hard when people are telling you you're doing something wrong? I'm always being told I shouldn't feed DD to sleep - apparently I need to just put her in her cot awake and let her learn to put herself to sleep. At this age though, that's not something they can do, your DS needs you to help him get to sleep. And if feeding and rocking is what works for you both then that's great, you've worked something out for the two of you!

DD is similar during the day, she tends to catnap up to 45 minutes, and a lot of those are on me, while she's feeding. Every now and then I'm able to put her down and she'll have a longer stretch. It does get frustrating when I can't do things because she's on me all the time, but I figure if this is what she needs, then this is what we're going to do. On days when I'm extra emotional it actually brings me to tears - because I realise that she won't always want to come to bed with me, one day we won't be able to spend hours just snuggling on the couch together.

They'll only be this small for such a short time, and their needs will change. You won't be feeding and carrying him forever, so try to enjoy these moments while you can, and forget about what you're reading/hearing.

You're doing everything exactly right. My dd had reflux too and for the first 3 months of her life she pretty much lived in her ergo, strapped to me. She wouldn't put herself to sleep at all and would only sleep in my arms. She is now 9 months old and happily puts herself to sleep. I hate all of the advice that you are creating a rod for your back etc it's not true. You can not spoil a baby under 12 months. Sometimes they cry because they need cuddles and it's great to give them cuddles when they need it, it is teaching them that when they cry out and need you, you're there for them. I say enjoy it, time flies so so quickly. You certainly don't see any 30 yr olds needing to be rocked and patted to sleep do you hehe. This baby stage goes by way too quickly and we only get to do it a few times. Do what your mummy instinct is telling you to do, it will be the right thing.