Guilt about doing things different the 2nd time around

I often think about the things I am doing with DS that I never did with DD and I start to feel bad. With DD I didn't know about babywearing, I only breastfed till 5 months, I had never heard of baby led weaning, I wasn't a member of BellyBelly ;)
I am doing all of the above with DS and still breastfeeding, but sometimes I feel really sad that I didn't do things the same way with DD. Breastfeeding got really hard around 4 months, and at 5 months I put DD on formula. At the time it seemed like the only option, but looking back now I really didn't seek any help and I probably could have continued if I had done so. Luckily DD was a great sleeper. Slept through the night early on and self settled. DS is the opposite. He has only ever fallen asleep being rocked or in the sling. Only in the sling these days as he is getting too heavy to hold and rock. He still feeds 2 or 3 times over night and I am totally cool with that. If DD had been that way I dread to think what sort of methods we might of tried because she 'should have been sleeping through' by a certain age. I feel like I am much gentler now than I was in the past and I feel so guilty.
I don't really know what I expect from posting this, or if it even makes any sense, but I think about it quite a lot so I think it might help just getting it out.

I completely understand hun - I was much the same with my DD, even down to putting her on formula at around 4 months when I went back to work and found my supply dropping rapidly. She also mostly slept through from early on, but I do recall a few unfortunate nights of letting her cry herself to sleep because I was told she'd fall into bad habits otherwise.

This time around, I'm much more confident in just going with what works for us and not bothering with all the book advice etc. Be interesting to see the differences in how it works out....

Try not to feel too bad hun, she's gaining the benefit of your increasing knowledge now just as much as your DS is and you were doing the best you knew at the time.

:hug: the first child is always the 'experiment'. I think about all that one on one time dd got as a baby though, which the subsequent children don't get. Your dd is also reaping the benefits of your gentle approach now too.

You're a great mummy :hug:

Both my girls have been parented diferently and If I have a 3rd they will most likely be diferent again

I might have parented my children differently but I've loved them the same. In my book that's what matters most.


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I might have parented my children differently but I've loved them the same. In my book that's what matters most.


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Just what I was thinking :)

Hugs.

You are fabulous, and normal, and an awesome mum! Nuff said I finks :)
xx

Thanks for the reassurance girls :grouphug:

I think it's pretty normal! I was a by the Booker for the twins and failed! But have enjoyed my last two ds' because I just go with the flow! Don't stress so long as you love your litlle ones they won't remember all the mistakes we made or bad days they had as babies.

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I might have parented my children differently but I've loved them the same. In my book that's what matters most.


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Perfectly said.

We do the best we can with the knowledge we have at the time.

Go check out the quote in Fleur's signature :)

Thanks for that, MadB :)

We all do the best we can, armed with the knowledge we have on THAT particular day.

Next week you could find out more info, and make a new decision.

We're constantly learning, that's a good thing.

In a perfect world, you'd have done your learning before having number one, but the world isn't perfect, sometimes you only start a learning journey, cos something goes wrong, and then you go off on a search. Sometimes it the fluke of bumping into someone who makes a suggestion.

When you know better, you do better. And everyone's version of what "better" is, is going to be individual.

I have had one child and will ahve no more, i used to constantly replay the "well i've made my mistakes now, learnt what i SHOULD have done, i need to ahve #2 so i can put into practice, well rectify all the mistakes i made. And now, no #2. I've had to come to grips with that. I have done the best i could, armed with what i knew at the time. I still feel woefully inadequate, but i do know, i've done the best i could.