Seriously at a loss!!!

Over the last few weeks/months my two kids (4 yr old DD & 2 yr old DS) have gone from being normal kids with good days/bad days to being just downright little terrors and I'm just at a loss as what to do. I'm at the point where I'm yelling, screaming, crying and have lost all patience. I am feeling so horrible about it but I have pretty much given up, thrown my hands up and not enjoying being a mum anymore at all and seriously doubting my ability to be their mum. Maybe I need to go back to work full time and DH being the stay at home dad with this bub (I'm 31 weeks pg).

They:
- do not listen of any description AT ALL
- scream/yell/squeal all day long and I can't get them to stop/quiet down
- I can't get them to do anything, even the simpliest thing like stop jumping on the couch
- the biting, hitting, kicking, wrestling, fighting is out of control
- physically trashing the house
- destroying their toys
- help with tidying up their toys
- any attempt at discipline, both gentle or timeout, is met with either backchat or laughing in my face

I've tried:
- time out
- routines
- gentle parenting
- reward chart
- naughty chart so no reward
- special activites for being good
- counting to 3
- having a special time with each of them, together and seperately
- taking their toys away
- minimum one day a week where they get to choose everything we do and I do no housework/chores etc
- limiting tv to a tiny bit each day (max 2 hours spread over the day)
- doing activites with them
- praise & encouraging any and all good behaviour
- they get my attention as much as I physically possibly can
- being as consistent as I can

I'm just at my wits end and I don't know what to do anymore :cry:. This is going on all day every day. I've turned into the horrible parent I never ever wanted to be. Even when I'm doing exactly what they want they are still fighting/yelling/screaming/whinging so I feel like I can't win regardless.

So please, please help me. What has happened to my kids and where can I go from here??? I want to enjoy my kids and I'm just not adn I'm terrified that they are going to grow up thinking that mum does nothing but yell and scream at us :cry:. This is absolutely gutting me.

Thanks,
Dan.

PS. on a side not how can I stop my DS from picking his nose constantly (and yes I mean constantly - he even sleeps with his finger in his nose)

:hug: hun, you are an ace mum, ok!!!

can you get your hands on 1-2-3 magic? borrow the DVD from the library, it does work
xxx

I would also like to recommend "The Happiest Toddler on the Block"

I do have ABC 123 so I re-read it and see how I go. I also have the work book too. Wonder if DH will sit down and do it with me.

you just need to find something that works for each child being different ages.

With my 4.5 year old we have rules....no crying,no tantrums and to do as he is asked when asked and when daddy gets paid he gets a treat. if he does any of the follow he gets his xbox taken away for 20mins.

For my 2.5 year old its a simple stern warning and if he continues to do it he gets a car taken off him

is it ABC 123 or 1-2-3 magic?

No advice but plenty of :hug:. Wanna swap kids for a bit? I'm sure they'll be perfect for the other!

Oops I meant 123 magic (can I blame pg brain?? :redface: )

Oh hun I feel for you!! Mine are EXACTLY the same at the moment!!! I have turned into crazy mum .... no advice (SORRY) but wanted to let you know you are not alone...I hoping its a faze!! ;)

:hug:

Scrutinise your diet! It was a big step for us to do it but I was at my wits end with some of my kids behaviours so I looked into their diet. Even though we ate a lot of good food, there was still a lot of additives creeping in there.

You don't have to go all out if you don't feel that you can but even adapting part of the Failsafe Diet or even eliminating a lot of food that has certain numbers can help. Borrow the book from the library and have a read!

Thanks ladies, once again :grouphug:. My kiddies are tucked up into bed for the night and so am I with a bowl of ice-cream smothered in ice magic. Tomorrow is a new day and fingers crossed I can hold my mouth and not scream at my poor innocent kids.

Raven what kind of books should I look into? Sorry very new at this thought. Their diet could be influcing their behaviour, would neer have considered this.

The book is called Fed Up by Sue Dengate. She calls the diet she created The Failsafe Diet. Sorry I wasn't very clear with my post, I was rushing ;) There has been discussions here on BB in the past. I'll have a search and see what I can find.


I don't follow the diet religiously because I found that cutting out a lot of processed foods helped enough. There is a list of the bad additives in the back. Most are flavours but some are also preservatives and colours. One of the worst she says is 160b which is a yellow and it's also a naturally derived one. It's also called annato (ie will be listed as "natural colour annato) and is used to make cheese slices that bright yellow and it's also in the pastry of frozen pies and some biscuits.
Preservative 220 is one that affects me. It makes me jittery, my heart races and brings on asthma and sometimes hives. It's in dried fruit, tomato sauce and wine. I can understand why the kids gets really irritable if they have the same reaction that I do from it :o


ETA have a browse through some threads in the allergies and intolerances forum https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums/f167/

I just wanted to send you a hug too and let you know that you are definitely not alone. I agree with the pp about trying to watch what the kids eat. I haven't followed any book but noticed how much packaged/prepared stuff we were using and just tried to get back to basics with more fruit/vege and more homemade stuff. Interestingly we have also slowed down a bit and spent more time hanging about rather than racing doing things on our home days and it has helped a bit. My younger DD has turned things up a notch too and is way more competitive with the eldest and I also think this has contributed to the angst. She has been way more confrontational, physically challenging DD1 and this change has needed some negotiating between them. I have also been sending them to run laps around the washing line and bouncing competitons on the tramp just to burn up some excess energy.
Can you get any time out? I find it hard as I get worn out with work and then trying to make sure everyone has enough time/fun with me and all the jobs get done when we are home and often forget I need some love too!