[ADVICE] the evil, vicious cycle

Ok, so my counsellor says I need to get some "fresh air" (que?) and some "exercise" (double que?) as these will improve my mood.

And here comes the vicious cycle - I used to love going to the gym and playing sport and swimming etc, but since my depression and everything set in, I just don't wanna do it :cry:

But my counsellor thinks (and I suspect she's right) that once I start, the positive reinforcement cycle will kick in, and I'll enjoy it and get happy hormones from doing it, which will lead me to wanting (or at least, being happier) to do it more, which will make it easier to rebuild the habit, etc.

Then there will be daily exercise, love, bunnies and unicorns farting rainbows all over the shop.

But - how to start?

I've asked DH to just make me go for a walk with him and DS every day after work - doesn't happen.

I've ordered myself to do it ... doesn't happen ...

I've put my beloved crosstrainer in front of the telly - it just leads to me not watching telly ...

It's always too cold or too hot or impending rain or I need to do housework or play with DS or have an early night, or I'm just wrecked from my day at work ... I just don't want to do it ...

This isn't just about loosing a few kilos - I need to do it for my mental wellbeing ... I know that ... so why don't I?

How did you?

What about if we tell you to lol? Or maybe make a plan right now for WHEN you're going to go tomorrow. Work out when it will fit into your busy day and book it in kind of like you do work and everything else....let us know when you plan to do it and then check in here tomorrow to tell us all you did it.

Do you have another friend or family member you can recruit? I know I go if I feel obliged to go with someone other than DH. I know I can say no to DH for no real reason, but I don't feel like I can to my friends or a family member.

Well, you will have to find something that works for you. What motivates one person, won't work for another. Here are a random selection of tips:

1. Reward yourself. After I go for my walk then I can... (insert favourite treat/activity)
2. Start with incidental exercise. Every time you think "I need to get more exercise", do 10 squats. Grab your DS and do a bit of dancing.
3. Say to yourself that you will walk for 10 minutes and if you aren't enjoying it after 10 minutes then you can stop. (Most often people will enjoy it and keep going, but the pressure of not having to do a long session helps them start out).
4. Eat a meal outside. Great for getting daylight, get out of the house, improve your mood. That might help you kick start going outside to exercise too.

I often say to people that exercise for depression is like chemotherapy for cancer. Yes, it's not going to be pleasant and you won't want to do it, but you HAVE to in order to get better. Its your medicine.

Are you a member of a gym?
The good thing about a gym is that the weather is irrelevant so you can't use it as an excuse. And if you commit to some of the classes the the time is already set for you.

I put it into my diary.

I also found that personal training was good, even to get started. That way I had an appointment with someone and it would be totally rude not to turn up. Also a complete waste of $$$.

I hope you find what you are looking for.

Fiona

The reality is you just need to commit to it. I read an interesting article on Sunday that talked about Michelle Bridges saying motivation is rubbish and you need to make exercise a non negotiable rather than wait for motivation to strike. So hard when you are juggling lots of things tho. So here trying for 3 x 1hr morning jog/walks as a weekly minimum. I feel heaps better in myself too so find it worth doing once I have got the happy hormones going.

Hey mate, I kind of agree with the previous poster. There will always be a reason NOT to do something and procrastinate when you're not motivated. When you are motivated the barriers seem small or hardly there.

I think you have to just fake it til you make it! Accept that you don't want to, accept it will suck to start with, try to focus on feeling slightly better afterwards for making the effort.

If faking it doesn't work, I reckon you take it back to sessions to unpack what is reinforcing or positive about not exercising or getting out more that you'll lose when you do start exercising.

:hug: i've been struggling to motivate myself to stick to a healthy diet for months. I know that good intentions or "insight" don't necessarily create change.

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