She just won't sleep!

DD is a nightmare to get to sleep it takes me in excess of an hour to get her to have a sleep most days (she is 9mths) and then she will only sleep for 5-20mins and it is impossible to resettle her! We went to sleep school a couple of weeks ago (no judging I was desperate) and they were teaching to pat to sleep and if wake in under an hour try to resettle (which we were never successful at). She was having two 20-40 min sleeps there but since we've been home it's only one sleep and at the max it's 30mins!!!!!!

At night she wakes frequently and is fed back to sleep (if it works) the other night she was awake most of the night. People keep telling me it gets better but to be honest her sleep is getting worse not better. I spend most of my days at home trying to get a cranky baby to sleep.

I'm at a loss what to do next I really am.

It's the age...seriously. I was the same when dd was 8-9 months old and it really got much better after the 12 month mark.

My advice is stop trying to get her to sleep as a routine and just do the things you want to do. Will she nap in a sling or pram or car? Or if you feed her in your bed lying down and then creep out?

Path of least resistance is my mantra....you can't kill yourself with a routine all for a fifteen minute nap....

:hug: thinking of you

See I'd be happy if slept those ways but during the day she won't.. She does sleep in the car but when I stop sometimes she does wake just hard to pick when those times are going to be. She isn't a great fan of the pram anymore either.

Oh I agree.. atm, its the age. My once wonderful sleeper tured feral at 8-9 months. No advice as any I would give doesnt go well with a gentle parenting site ;) but wanted to offer lots of :hug: It must be horrible now that you are pregnant again... you need your rest! xoxox

What happens if you don't try to get her to sleep? My LO stopped having day sleeps around 9 months but started again (some days) at 12 months. It was easier on me to just stop trying. don't know if that would wwork for your LO, my DD seemed to thrive at that time with no sleep.

My DD1 was the same. It got a lot better after 12 months :hug:
I would just let her sleep in my arms, couldn't be bothered trying to put her down 100 times when she would wake up 5 mins later. She did grow out of it and is now a great sleeper.

:hug: I'm having some issue with getting my DS off to sleep as well so have no advice for you. Just wanted to send you a hug as it must be so frustrating. I hope this is a stage and passes soon.

:hug: You know I know....but I have no advice.
I've had 3 terrible sleepers. Only now, at 4yrs old is DD sleeping through the night more often than not. DS2 is waking 1-2hrly at night and is up for the day by 6am. I must say though he sleeps ok though the day.
Have you had her chacked out by a paed? I have no idea what could be wrong with her, but maybe there's something medical? I know she has issues with food sensitivities...maybe it's still that? Maybe her ears or something?? I don't know hunny.
I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, it really is torturous, especially when pg. DD was my worst sleeper, and when I was pg, it was so hard. Plus I was working, and crazily enough studying part time too. It was a VERY long few months until I stopped working and finished studying.
All I can tell you is rest when you can. Take advantage of offers of help from everyone and anyone, and if someone takes bub out, SLEEP! Don't clean or cook or anything like that, rest.

I went to a day session of sleep school when DD was 6 weeks old and it was the best thing I ever did so no judging here! I'm sure they gave you lots of tips on wrapping and settling techniques so I won't go into that. My DD can now self-settle really well. She sleeps all night but not much during the day either. She will sleep 40 mins max at a time. After sleep school I was so worried about trying to do things 'right' that if she woke up after a short amount of time I'd always try to resettle but I think it just stressed both of us more. Now if she wakes and cries
I get her up straight away. If she is happy lying there I wait 10 mins or so and see if she will go back to sleep (sometimes she does) if not I get her up. I guess my point is I wouldn't worry too much about resettling. Maybe work on her being able to get herself to sleep initially and then go from there. Like I said, I'm sure you've been given heaps of tips so wont go into them. If you do want some more ideas though just let me know :)

I really really feel for you hun!

My boy has always been a really reliant on us to get to sleep kinda baby and it is so difficult and stressful sometimes! (well, 99% of the time LOL) you'd be amazed at the things we need to do at times to get him to sleep! We use a baby hammock which rocks him and settles him along with a barrage of things lol so you could give that a go if rocking is helpful sometimes?

I honestly stopped fighting the whole only sleeping 20-40 min a day thing because it just wasn't working. Their sleep cycle is about 20 min long so perhaps your little one just doesn't need anymore sleep than that at a time during the day? That's perfectly normal as every bub is different. Mine has just started having a longer afternoon nap (around an hour) most days which I looooove as it gives me a little bit of time to peace out (well, if you'd call it that lol).

I must say it's reassuring to hear that it gets better after 12 months for some and I guess we just have to remember that we are doing the best we can for our little ones and at the end of the day I have a clear conscious about my responsiveness and parenting and that's what really matters.

:hug: sorry I couldnt be of much help but just know there are others out there feeling you pain!

Remember.... This too shall pass!!!


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its an age thing i think. my son had trouble sleeping until he was 18 months old but at 2 yrs of age his doctor pointed out that he was partially deaf with lots of fluid on his ear drums and that his throat was almost closed over by his huge tonsils. it was the last thing i would have blamed his lack of sleep on but as soon as he was recovered from surgery he was finally sleeping! it was great. 8-9 months is hard because they are changing so much, with teeth and crawling and learning all the big stuff like words and pulling themselves up to stand. i found that every time i figured out a routine that worked he changed what he needed and it felt impossible. i just want to give lots of hugs! but know there are so many other mums tearing their hair out for the same reason! we've all been at that point, some more than others but there is nothing wrong with you or your parenting it really is just a matter of time x

Thanks everyone for your replies. I find it hard to accept the age thing considering she has always been a bad sleeper as in she has never slept longer than 3hrs. And overnight is always 2-3hrly or more wake ups. If I don't get her to sleep during the day she is ever so grizzly. She rarely will fall asleep in my arms, if she did I'd be happy with that. Guess it's just something I'll have to put up with. But I'm just exhausted at the moment. I have been taking her for drive in the car to get her to sleep lately, and that'll give me at least 30mins.

Em - When she wakes at night is she actually crying/needing a feed or just stirring between sleep cycles? My little one wakes numerous times a night (they stir between each sleep cycle apparently) but is able to resettle herself. I found that when she was about 4ish months and woke at night she wasn't actually needing a feed but rather just needing a bit of help to resettle. For her, her dummy did the trick......if she isn't actually upset have you tried leaving her and seeing what she will do, or just trying to resettle without getting her out of bed?

EDIT: Sometimes my DD will wake and even have a little chatter to herself before going back to sleep 15-20 later.....

chody, it's crying and screaming til I feed her or she will stand up in the cot start chattering and then cry when she's had enough of that. Most of the time she is in bed with us. Had to go back to co sleeping to get some rest

yeah i remember crying at the end of my 10 month olds cot and my partner not understanding at all how tough it was to do it 24/7. is there anyone that could help even just for a bit through the day so you can nap? i went back into work/study when my son was 8 months and his naps got better within childcare because he was so worn out and all the kids were napping....but thats not really an ideal fixer upperer! but it does sound like you need some time out to just rest, ask your partner, family or close friends even to help you out so you can regain some sanity! she WILL grow out of it eventually

Hey em my little man feeds every 2 hours overnight (at least) so i know how exhausted you must feel... Just know you're not alone! It won't stay like it is now for too much longer... I was like you at that age and unable to escape from getting him to sleep but now he's a little older (11 months) his sleep is getting deeper and he is easier to detach and move etc whilst sleeping. It does get better, bit by bit, I promise! Hang in there!


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