Half-DD Initiated Weaning...

I think we could be weaning or partially at least. I've been going back and forth in my mind about whether or not to encourage DD (2.5) to stop feeding before the new baby, figuring I need to do it sooner rather than later if that is what we decide to do. The main problem is she is still feeding overnight which could be hard logistically with a newborn to cater to as well, I would be happy to continue to feed to sleep and have a morning feed or whatever but couldn't get around trying to co-ordinate both during the night. I still hadn't made any decisions when last night, DD woke up and instead of milk, DD initiated cuddles instead (usually during the night I offer backrubs/cuddles first but she is quick to show what she really wants). This morning, when she woke up she got into bed with us and had more cuddles, didn't ask for milk and after about 5minutes I decided to get up with her before she did. So I've now decided to go with this and encourage weaning although I think I will try to hang on to just the feed before bed if we can, simply because it makes bedtime super easy and I like knowing she is still getting that nutrient injection once a day ;)

Think it might be a rough few nights but hopefully, since I've been offering cuddles instead for a while (even if she never really took me up on it before) the ground work has been laid a little. I know I'm going to want to cave as soon as there are any tears or persistance because I will feel bad for forcing something on her when she is showing signs she isn't ready but I think we really need to nightwean at least or it is going to be even worse when a newborn is thrown in too and there comes a point where I find I have to really force it for my sanity. DD fed almost hourly around the clock for the first 6months, fed 2hrly around the clock till 1 and was still having ~4 night feeds at 2 so if I get another newborn like her... well, trying to fit in a toddler... aaah!

I'm feeling a little aprehensive. I think it will actually be quite hard for me to give up; it is a bit of a security blanket that even if she is being fussy she is getting some good stuff into her and she has never been constipated etc so I'm really worried about that coming up! She has only had one cold in her life (and no ear infections etc etc) and at the moment, DP is sick but me and DD have remained well (am I allowed to blindly thank breastfeeding haha) so I'm stressing about her losing out on the immunological benefits. It is also such a handy quick-fix to anything... which is why I'd love to at least keep one feed and the one to sleep seems beneficial, it helps her nod off quickly and gives us some quiet alone time at the end of the day.

I don't think I'd wean at all if I could work out a way to keep both a toddler and newborn happy overnight but I just think that even if usually I can work out a bit of a system that ran smoothly and happened to get a newborn that wasn't as frequent a feeder as my DD was, there would be nights when they were both up (since newborns are anything but predictable and even those that go long stretches usually have wonder weeks etc) and wanting milk and trying to manage both at once could be a bit of a nightmare and end up traumatic for everyone, especially my toddler as I would have to prioritize the baby getting fed which would break my heart and the thought alone makes me feel like a terrible person.

So, trying to be strong! So far it has been over 12hrs since her last feed and she seems fine. She asked once this morning but I offer her some cows milk in a big girl cup instead (which she hasn't really ever had so was a bit of a novelty, usually only has breastmilk and water for drinks, in the end she didn't even drink any and I had it haha) then porridge was ready so she was sufficiently distracted. During the day is usually fine as we are busy and she rarely has feeds then anyway. I will let her have her night feed before bed if she wants it (6pm) and then it will be cuddles/backrubs/water overnight... she sleeps through a few nights a week and wakes once on the others, hopefully this doesn't mess with that too much considering how far we have come with her sleep!

Also wondering what will happen when my milk goes back to colostrum for the new bub, I'm 28w now and it still seems to be what it always was... not sure when it changes back but have heard some toddlers are not fans!

Anyway, she's had 2yrs, 7mo and 2d of breastmilk so far so I shouldn't feel too bad about weaning her right? Just looking for some support and to get everything I've got floating around my head out.

You've done a fantastic job and should be incredibly proud!

You've done an absolutely amazing job. For me, I just "knew" when the time was right. It took a couple of days, DD was only having the feed before bed and that first night, we went out for dinner and got her babysat, so I wasn't around for it. Second night was horrible. She was crying, I was crying. Third night, she didn't even come looking. :hug:

Thanks girls... another night survived although it was a bit rougher than the first. Yesterday was fine, she asked a couple of times but was easily persuaded to do other things instead. She had her bedtime feed and was in bed as per usual at 6pm. She then woke up 3 times overnight (8pm, 10pm and then some other point during the night); the first she settled within a few minutes with a backrub, no protests. The second we were up for about 40minutes and there were tears, it was really hard but she finally got back to sleep after some water and leg rubs... I hopped back into bed and cried and cried and cried. The third was a bit of both, she did half-protest (you know when they are kind of half asleep and give a little bit of a whinge) but was back asleep pretty quick. She asked again this morning but daylight hours are easy to negotiate.

Feeling a bit sad about it. Hate knowing I could easily calm her with milk and I'm not but hopefully it passes quick, she seems her happy usual self when she wakes up so can't be too traumatized... I had always thought she would just wean herself when the time was right and I was in no rush but I know it is better to do it now than be forced into it with a new sister around, I definitely don't want to increase any jealousy/resentment by associating weaning with the new baby. I worry that because we have been breastfeeding so long, I haven't really had to comfort her in other ways and maybe I can't or don't know how but I'm sure that isn't right, just surprised how much security I found in breastfeeding. She did a poo this morning and that reassured me a little that everything will still work haha silly, I know. Still going to be doing the bedtime feed and reassess in a week or two once we are on the other side of this hurdle.

It's weird, I didn't cry when she started solids or turned one (or two) or any of that... but last night, for the first time, there were a lot of tears about my little girl getting bigger.

You are amazing - such an inspiration! My goal is 2 years and I think it is so fantastic how long she has been feeding and how considerate and thoughtful you are being re the weaning and the new baby etc. I think it would be so hard to see the breastfeeding phase coming to an end - I never want it to stop so totally understand the tears lol! And my boy sounds exactly like yours (still feeding 2 hourly around the clock at 11 months old) and honestly if I were in your situation I think I'd be doing the same thing. You are so right with not wanting to associate weaning with the baby etc - you have really put so much thought into this - have faith you are doing the right thing and i think your little girl is very lucky to have a Mummy like you! Good luck with it all!!! :hug:


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so much of what you have written, i have thought lately. i haven't made any decisions yet though. my LO is only 18 months, which makes the decision more difficult for me. She night weaned herself earlier in pregnancy which i am thankful for.

i am 27 weeks pg, haven't really noticed whether my milk is changing to colustrum, DD hasn't given any indication that it is changing.

i have a little voice that would like her to wean herself, but then i wonder what would i do without being able to settle her with boob, and what about when she gets sick....

anyway, just wanted to wish you good luck.

HotI, I definitely think it would have been a harder decision for me too had DD been younger :hug: but I think if your DD has nightweaned, that is the main part if you are happy to feed both. To be honest, I doubt I will fully wean, I already can tell I will cling to her bedtime feed for a while (because of the security with illness, balanced diet, soothing, getting her to sleep easily etc) but the nightweaning seems important to making sure the transition from one to two is smooth so going to be strong and stick to that. Luckily, DD is making it easier as last night she slept through so we are now at 3 nights without milk overnight! Hoping this means we are on the home stretch.

Well done JF. What an awesome Mummy you are. I didn't have that problem, I night weaned DD earlier, I think maybe around 14 months I started trying to stretch her out overnight. Then when I was pregnant she gradually cut her feeds down anyway to once or twice a day due to the lack of milk. There came a point when I had to decide if I should wean her or not because like you said I didn't want to do it when DD2 came along and have her associate it with that. I chose not to wean her. Really, I couldn't be bothered :rofl: I was pregnant and it was easier to get her to sleep at night with a BF. I also wanted to make it to 2 yrs and she was 2 just after DD2 was born.

Anyway, if you want to keep feeding I can tell you that it works out just fine! I think what you're doing now is really important. If you've got her down to one feed a day before DD2 arrives then it will hopefully be easy to keep her at that afterwards and then it's no real drama. One extra feed a day is not a big deal for me.

I actually found it so sweet that DD1 was still feeding. She seemed to actually like to share it with DD2 and wasn't jealous at all, I actually think it helped. Maybe she could see how just becasue DD2 was here didn't mean anything changed for her. I also liked having that time with her, forced us to make sure we got some one-on-one time and also helped remind me of how she really was still a baby herself :D

Well done to you and your DD, you're doing great!! xx

Yeah, I think that is what we will do... cut the nightfeeds but keep her bedtime feed and possibly even her morning feed if she is interested in one (I like being able to stay in bed a little extra before starting the day haha).

Well, things are going well. She hasn't had a night feed since we started this although is still having her bedtime feed and one when she wakes for the day. Haven't had anymore troubles or tears either, guess she really was ready... haha 2.5 and down to 2 feeds, slow and steady ;)

Good to hear it's all working out and hasn't been stressful for you both. As you said, it seems she was ready :) hope it continues!


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