Helping a friend.....

A close friend of mine is preg with identical twin girls, at 13 weeks it was found out they both had downsyndrome.

She refused the amino and this week goes for a scan (she is 17 weeks) to confirm the doctors diagnoises and to decide where to go from there.

I just wanna know how i can support her through this time. As im not to sure how to approch it.

As i know the family has mentioned to her ( as her dr has) of aborting the girls....but today when i saw her she kept talking about how her girls are
growing etc.


Help please!

So hard to know. Maybe she has decided regardless of the outcome to keep her precious babies. I would support and encourage her like any other of my pregnant friends :)

Yeah, what Joeve said :) May I ask how she knows for sure they have DS if she didn't have an amnio? I thought that was the only way to know for sure, and the scan/blood test was just to check the likelihood...

Hun all you can do is be there for her and offer her what ever support and attention she needs. Support as you would any other pregnant friend. Offer to find info or attend appts etc with her if she wants someone to go with her.

Is she thinking they have downs due to combined screeing test as no amnio?

You are a beautiful friend, I hope all goes well for your friend xoxo

Ask her what support she'd like. They need to do chromosome analysis to "confirm" T21 which they can do after birth if she prefers. A scan is an indicator, not a confirmation. If they want to know before birth, they only way to tell is via amnio. It's their choice and whatever decision they make is the right one for their family. Hopefully they are getting support from genetic counsellors, family and friends.

If they continue the pregnancy and the girls have T21, there are support services available. If they choose to end the pregnancy, there are support services available including SANDS or SIDS and Kids. Depending on what state she is in, there are different laws about what gestation they can terminate up to.

All you can really do is just be there for her. She will need alot of support and love no matter what she chooses to do.

What tashy said. Just ask her. She is your friend. She has told you this much :) treat her and her babies with respect, don't ignore the issue. I hope this next scan proves it all wrong.

thank you for the advice.

From what she has told me, the dr seemed pretty sure, she had the BT you and scan you have at 13 weeks and the scan showed something to show downs.

but also one baby is bigger then the other.

Im hoping the next scan proves us all wrong....

She needs to see a genetic counsellor or a dr who understands the tests. First trimester screening (blood test and ultrasound) are screening tests, they are not diagnostic. They can not diagnose down syndrome. An ultrasound at 20 weeks can not diagnose down syndrome. Prenatally, either a cvs or amnio is needed for diagnosis of chromosomal variations.

I don't know your relationship, and whether your friend is open to information or whether she is just is need of support, but it sounds like she has been given misinformation (or that is what she has told you) and it is hard to make decisions if you have don't have the right info before you

Your friend is very lucky to have you, sometimes it's not what you say it's just being there for someone that can give an enormous comfort. Lots of love to both of you.

Regards,
Dianne