She's obsessed with my boobs!

I have wanted to bring this up for months and months but was a little embarassed i guess..

My DD always has to either touch, pinch or bite my boobs. When she is upset she cuddles me and tucks her hands between my boobs. She sticks her hands in my bra and often pulls down my top and bra to see them.

Nothing i do or say to her makes her stop, i tell her that it hurts and she shouldn't do it and she either becames hysterical or she becomes shy. Right this very minute she is cuddled up to me with one hand down my top.

And for those who don't know i didnt BF at all. Any ideas as why shes so obsessed?

I don't know LMS but if it helps my DD is the same. I just always put it down to a comfort thing.

Janie xxx

Mine is similar - seems to be a happy place for her. I'm pretty slim so I guess it's the softest place on my body! I agree with Janie, probably a comfort thing. I wear her in an ergo so she's quite used to being snuggled down in there and it settles her. It is a little embarrassing when she yanks down my top in public but oh well.

Do you wear your DD?

I wore her in a baby bjorn sling right up until about a month ago. But she is always sitting on my lap. My boobs are rather big so there is no missing them so i don't know if she likes them because they are there.

Because they are a soft, warm, squishy, snuggly part of mummy!

Miss P is also obsessed with holding my boobs, although we are still BF. My DS is 6 and was only BF for a few months (even then, he was primarily FF) and he STILL likes to snuggle into my boobs or stick his hand in my top.

both of mine still put their end down my cleavage if they're being held. I think its definately a comfort thing.

ETA: its a bit of a pain in public, especially when DD pulls down my top and so flashes my bra to the world!

Our DD is like that too but she is BF buuuuut she is also obsessed with her daddys chest too :lol: if he is carrying her she will put her hands down his shirt and sit her hands there. I guess it is toasty warm :dunno:

Hate to say this, but DS is nearly 5 and I still have to remind him that he shouldn't put his hands down Mama's top.

Ok, I know you didn't BF but it is impossible for a baby to have an "obsession" as that implies that your little girl is capable of a thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on her mind.

Your heart is also underneath your left breast, she will still want to snuggle in for warmth and comfort regardless of whether she was BF or not.

Yes its inconvenient when they are showing your boobs to complete strangers but do you honestly think she has the level of understanding that you seem to expect her to have? She is STILL just a baby! I don't expect my 2yo to have a real concept of "boobies out are a no no "

Maybe if you stop focussing on what she is doing and learn to relax a little and just move her hand away without making a big deal or telling her off she might loose interest.

Maybe if you give her "time" with them at a special time of day like nap time or if you have a bath with her and let her look and touch and you explain to her what they are etc when she gets a bit older :dunno:

I never make a big deal out of my daughter touching my breasts or pulling down my top. If its not convenient I just say to her "I am sure X doesn't want to see mummies breasts, here why don't you play with this for a while" mind you she is also older than your DD so has more concept of what I am saying.

If you react badly to her and make her upset of course she will get clingier and want more snuggles and be closer to you for comfort and that for may mean hands down mummies top.

Nae

Should maybe add - I have to remind DH that I don't want hands down my top all the time as well. Maybe that's another issue though.

Try asking her to rub something else - like your tummy or cheek - instead.
And ask her to be gentle with whatever she is doing - oddly enough being gentle is something that takes a long time to learn.

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Ok, I know you didn't BF but it is impossible for a baby to have an "obsession" as that implies that your little girl is capable of a thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on her mind.

Your heart is also underneath your left breast, she will still want to snuggle in for warmth and comfort regardless of whether she was BF or not.

Yes its inconvenient when they are showing your boobs to complete strangers but do you honestly think she has the level of understanding that you seem to expect her to have? She is STILL just a baby! I don't expect my 2yo to have a real concept of "boobies out are a no no "

Maybe if you stop focussing on what she is doing and learn to relax a little and just move her hand away without making a big deal or telling her off she might loose interest.

Maybe if you give her "time" with them at a special time of day like nap time or if you have a bath with her and let her look and touch and you explain to her what they are etc when she gets a bit older :dunno:

I never make a big deal out of my daughter touching my breasts or pulling down my top. If its not convenient I just say to her "I am sure X doesn't want to see mummies breasts, here why don't you play with this for a while" mind you she is also older than your DD so has more concept of what I am saying.

If you react badly to her and make her upset of course she will get clingier and want more snuggles and be closer to you for comfort and that for may mean hands down mummies top.

Nae

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Ouch! I didn't see this until now.

I don't make a huge fuss, if she is cuddling or sitting on my lap when her hands there then that is fine but its the pinching and biting of them thats the most annoying (maybe i should have made that more clear) and also if i hear ONE more time that she is still a baby i will scream!!!! :wall: i KNOW she is a baby but i dont TALK to her like she is a baby! She understands me quite well, most the time when i say "please don't do that" she will stop. But its the being spiteful and continuing to do it thats the problem and usually by then i put her on the floor and i say no to her. Or i get up and walk away.

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Ouch! I didn't see this until now.

I don't make a huge fuss, if she is cuddling or sitting on my lap when her hands there then that is fine but its the pinching and biting of them thats the most annoying (maybe i should have made that more clear) and also if i hear ONE more time that she is still a baby i will scream!!!! :wall: i KNOW she is a baby but i dont TALK to her like she is a baby! She understands me quite well, most the time when i say "please don't do that" she will stop. But its the being spiteful and continuing to do it thats the problem and usually by then i put her on the floor and i say no to her. Or i get up and walk away.

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Ouch??

OK sorry if I hit a nerve!

Look I think if you honestly believe she is being spiteful and intentionally doing it to hurt you or whatever ... take her to see a MCHN. She is 15 months old?? I do not see how a baby (yes I know I said it again) can deliberately be spiteful ..... sorry I just cannot.

Oh FWIW you do not need to talk to her like a baby, in fact there is nothing I hate more than people talking to babies like they are idiots, but honestly she does NOT have the capacity to be doing things deliberately to cause you harm. She cannot rationalise her actions, she is not plotting against you.

You came in here looking for suggestions and solutions to your daughters "obsession" as you put it and I pointed out a few things like not making a big deal about it... take it however you want.

Nae

Where did i say she is 'plotting against me'?? When i tell her to be gentle she smacks me, she will scream "No!" and smack me but im suppose to just put that down to she didn't understand what i said to her?? I'm sorry but i like to think that my daughter understands a little bit. Obviously i don't expect her to say sorry or feel bad i just want her to be more gentle and not to hit or bite me.

By me calling it an 'obsession' i was making a joke of it! I apologise again if that didn't come across as that way...

And i asked why she was obsessed i honestly didn't think of it as a comfort thing.. ive never seen it or heard of it.. :dunno:

My dd always has her hand down my top! It is definitely just warm and snugly to her. She is still bf.... And will ask for boob too.... While her hand is down there like she's digging for gold.... But given the chance.... She also goes for my mums too..... And well..... They don't have the 'goods' like mine, which is why I put it down to comfort.

Dd was also obsessed with elbows for a while there too :)

I wouldn't think your dd is being spiteful.... She just likes it and doesnt realise she's being rough. If she bites, or pinches.... I'd just saw OW.... Be gentle and take her hand away. If she smacks you back after that, I'd say.... No hitting.... Or something.... And move away for a min.

Don't be embarassed.... Seems there are a few boobie fondlers out there :)

Young children have limited impulse control - they can no something is not appropriate, but not be able to stop themselves doing it. 15 months is still very much a baby (i know you dont like the term, but intellectually, she is still on a huuuuuuuuuuuuuge learning curve, and baby is much more apt than child to describe her)

it's a comfort thing - can you try to replace your boobs with some other comfort item (blanket/toy) - DD needs to put hands down tops - mine, Daddy's, Granma's - it's nothing to do with BF, it's just what she does. we all accept it - and remove it when it's not an appropriate time/place and try to distract her (rather than saying no, we redirect her attention to something else)

She has a thing for ears as well, she plays with our ear when shes tired or upset. When shes happy and content its her hand down my top. usually when i am watching tv i will redirect her hand to my ear or ill rub her head as a distraction but sometimes she doesnt like that and then goes straight for my boobs again.

I'm not bothered now knowing its a comfort thing and totally normal. I probably could be more patient and understanding. I look at her and i don't see a baby i see a little girl so at times i expect her to understand and know.

Thanks everyone for your comments.

My 4 & 2 year old still do this, Haha! Try to ignore it, if it doesn't get a reaction eventually it will pass.... If she is biting or smacking just put her down and move away. She's far to young to understand what you are trying to say, so at this age it's best to provide actions.