Always wanting to take stuff to school

DD1 is driving me batty with the constant barrage of the same question "Can I take this to school?". Ok, in way it is good that she asks, but if she does not get the answer she wants, she just continues to ask (this is an overriding problem with everything). She has no concept of "just one", so if I do say yes, she take many of what ever it is. Last time when I said yes to her taking a Barbie, she tried to take 6 with her.

Now I am not 100% what the school policy is, or what her teacher wants with regards to them bringing things from home. I would prefer it if it was only occasionally that she took something and not everyday. Her constant badgering, sulking and crying, has me just wishing that she would sneak stuff to school in her bag. Also she is not getting ready for school properly as she is too busy gathering her treasures for the day, we were so late on the day she tried to bring 6 barbies.

I get that she wants to take the things she likes to show and share, but what I don't get is if she knows the answer is going to be "no" or "only one", why ask all the time? Why get herself so upset? I don't think I am being unreasonable or am I?

We have a bit of that going on here with creche. As a teacher, we are used to kids bringing stuff to school but most schools have the policy of, if it gets lost/broken then there is really nothing the school can do about it (unless stolen and even that is problematic). Anyway I think maybe there are a few things you could do, firstly find out when show and tell days are for her. Secondly, even if she wants to take things on days that aren't show and tell days, set a day that she can take one item, set it on a calendar, and she can pack it the night before so she doesn't slow you up choosing stuff in the morning. It might even be good to have a chat to her teacher who might set the rules for her as well, so that you have ammo on both sides!!! Maybe if she isn't getting ready properly and running late, she doesn't get to take something? So it is more like a reward than the norm ITMS. Good luck hun, tricky one!

That is really hard, I know I would get sick of my kids wanting to take stuff all the time.

At my son's school they have a designated show and tell day, and on that day they have a topic to talk about, quite often the topic relates to things going on in the classroom, like science, animals, movement etc.
It makes life a bit easier as it isn't the constant going through the toy box to try and find someting.

What is the schools policy? Or is it more that they don't have one, I would have thought it would be time consuming to go through everyones show and tell everyday.

Her kinder year last year was quite bad with all the kids bringing stuff, so the teacher implemented a box. They had their turn to take the box home and fill it with their treasures. It was great.

DD1's teacher has said in the past that she is happy for us to "blame" her for rules and she will back up whatever we choose. I have had a lot of trouble pinning her down lately, otherwise I would have asked her for ideas and about the school policy.

I do warn her often, that if it gets broken or lost, I DONT want to know about it.

The idea of allocating a fixed day has crossed my mind, but I do wonder if she will still just bug me during the week about what she is taking. I suppose all I can do is try it and see how it works. Getting her to pack it the night before is great, we are such morning people with getting ready, it had not crossed my mind.

Thanks for the suggestions ladies! :D

You are definitely not being unreasonable and it must be really hard when she badgers you like this.

DS likes to take things to childcare (he is 3.5) but I really try not to let him and explain that it isn't fair on the other kids cause they might want to play but he won't let them, I tell him that it isn't fair on the teachers cause they have to keep an eye on it and that it isn't fair on him because how would he feel if it was broken or lost. I am lucky that he seems to be mostly accepting of that. As a last resort I can be pretty harsh with DS and threaten to throw his toys away if he doesn't stop going on about it and that seems to get him to stop.

I think if we were having bigger issues that Tanster has some great suggestions so that might work.

Goodluck navigating and negotiating :hug:

Ask the teacher what the deal is with show and tell. Most kids only have one go per week and a specified day. If that's not the system ask that she implement such a system - so only a few people are elligible for show and tell on any one day.

I hate it! My girls will do it too but we've had things stolen and broken so they've learnt their lesson now and rarely ask. I have always told them they can only take 1 item and nothing of any real value, but despite that other kids still seem to want it more than my girls do so they have stolen things and broken others. Trust me when I say most teachers don't like it either. When I was on prac there were a few times when I had to referee arguments over things that had been brought from home. If they bring in an item for their news, then that it placed in a drawer in the teachers desk. It blows my mind at some of the toys people let their kids take to school though!

I wish our school had a no toys policy. They can bring pretty much whatever they like to play with in the playground. I don't really get badgered, but it's a constant question every day... can I take this to school.

We have designated news days, and news goes on the news table first thing, so that's not a problem.

We have more of a problem tho of DS having a knack for getting his friends to give him stuff! I'm still trying to work out the protocol on this one... when he comes home with half a dozen matchbox cars that he's been given 'to keep forever' whether I should be making him take them back or what. He had a playdate after school the other day and when I picked him up, he was loaded up with a truck, lego men, and a few other bits and pieces. We double/triple checked with his little friend that he really wanted to give them to DS and he was sure.

Sorry... getting back to your original post. I like the idea of assigning a day (or 2) for taking a toy to school might work. It worked for us with buying iceblocks (the yr 2's sell 50c iceblocks at lunch) we just designated 1 day a week to be iceblock day. that stopped the constant hounding every morning for money and the inevitable crankiness at the answer! Might be worth a try... as well as the deciding the night before what it'll be.

Don't worry.. school holidays soon and a whole different set of tantrums to deal with ;) LOL.

Spoke to the teacher today. She is happy to take the blame for the 1 toy rule ;) They don't have a set day for show and tell, which probably wont change. Seems like most of the taking is so she can play with the other girls in their lunch break and many have been bringing Barbies lately. So looks like I will just have to tough on her taking only one and make her pack it the night before, with the rule of if she whinges, then none!

Liz- that is a tough one. I would feel awful if she was bring other toys home.

We have a 1 toy rule and it has to be nothing of value so most days they take a car for the sandpit or a tech deck or similar. I usually frisk them at the door if I see them gathering toys and by the time we get to school the tanty is generally over.

DS1 has been given a few things. I usually tell him to give something back of equal value ie a car for a car and on the occasion that a little girl in his class gave him her canteen money I made him pay it back on canteen day the next week.