all out maybe

well,today is 9dp3dt and i couldnt help myself. I did what we all shouldn't do, i poas. BFN. Not even a glimmer or faint line, start white with one very big fat line.
I'm so glad that i dont have the constant worry, this sounds silly, but i feel so much better. I think i am one of these people that just need to know, then i deal with the outcome with a new cycle. Am i strange.. I thought id be devastated and i am, but not devastated crying, just disappointed. Hey, ive got 3 frosties left and i'll be seeing them next month i hope. The tww did my head in and it was so stressful, it was my first tww and one of the most hardest times in my life.
Its still only early though, but i am telling myself im out. Id prefer to not have the stress and just be normal and take the test when im suppose to. Yeah, of course i'll be disappointed again when i have to really poas and then know for sure, but it sure beats me pulling my hair out, crying, being miserable and not knowing.
Does this make sense, or have i been knocked on the head in my sleep and now my brain has gone crazy?
Thanks gorgeous girls

xxx BFP's to you all

rollercoaster- sorry you had to see a bfn- they suck.

Hey rollercoaster! Sorry for your BFN hun, it really sucks :( Can I ask you if this is your first cycle? I have had two GF who have had success with FET and not fresh transfers. In fact, when I was doing my first cycle, my FS told me that for some reason, FET cycles seem to be more successful than fresh ones. GL with your frosties hun!

Thanks saffy, its all good. How r u going girl ??

Miss B, yes, first cycle. Been ttc for just on 4 years. Done the clomid, didnt even bother with iui, my FS said due to my pcos, id probably end up with 20 odd kids if i went down that path.
It was a fresh cycle, i didnt realise FET's were more successful. Cool, bring on next cycle.

Dont get me wrong, i'm bummed out. But i'm... relieved i think. I put it down to being my first cycle, the stress/worry constantly. I was negative throughout this cycle and i think it has helped me cope with the outcome. Hope i dont have to take a break in between, being so close to xmas and all. I am excited about my next cycle, better luck on the next. Its just one closer to my BFP.
Its all good. It wil probably hit me when the dreaded AF turns up, she's a witch that one. She's due in 2 days and im feeling her already.
Thank you to you all for being there, this forum has made the process easier. Without it, i'd b sitting in the corner crying.
Goodluck Saffy and to all the others in the 2ww.
xx

hey rollercoaster I'm a bfn too! I didn't think this cycle was going to work from the start so its no big shock to me, I just want AF to arrive so I can do another cycle before xmas. Big hug for you, hope next time is the winner for you xx