CS with 2nd (or more) child - how did your LO cope?

I'm pretty sure that I am going to opt to have a scheduled CS with this bub. But the thing that scares me most about it is how DS is going to cope. He will be 2 and 9 months when bubs arrives. So it would be wonderful if you could share yours and your LO's experience with you having a CS with your second, or subsequent children. I'm interested to know:

- when after your CS did they come to visit? I had initially thought that DS would come that afternoon, but then my sister said it might be best to wait till the next day when I'm up and about and don't have tubes etc - she thought that might be upsetting/scary for him...
- how you/they managed with you not being able to pick them up for weeks afterwards
- how they coped with you being in hospital for those few days
- were you comfortable having them sit on your lap and give them a cuddle?
- could you lift them while sitting?

I think that's the key things, I'm sure there's more... But would love it if you could share your experience. TIA

DS1 was 21 months when i had a cs.
1- He came to visit that afternoon. I was in ridiculous pain (and emotional still) so was given even more pain med while he was there - then i was a bit spaced out. He probably didn't need to see that, but he was on the floor playing with cars etc, so didn't mind too much. I had a drip - he didn't seem bothered.
2- I had picked him up a bit less in the last few weeks of pg, so he was kind used to it. I picked him up a bit anyway, contrary to their advice. It's a natural reflex and it's hard to not do sometimes.
3- he saw me everyday twice a day while i was in hossy. He had his dad at home so he didn't seem to mind.
4- yep, he got plenty of cuddles. The cs didn't get in the way that much in that regard - the new baby got in the way more ITMS.
5- yep. Can't remember what i was told, but i did it anyway. I spent a lot of time sitting on the couch (feeding!) so he'd climb up next to me and it was fine. He was still in a cot then and i put him in a out a few times (I had no choice, no helpers).

To be honest at 21 months DS didn't seem to mind too much. It was all so very different for him anyway (Dad home, mum in a strange place, baby arrives etc). The cs wasn't so much of a bother in relation to him. It was a PITA for me! But not for him.

Dd1 had just turned 3. She came as soon as i was out of recovery. She climbed up on the bed for a cuddle the next day. I think she was so focused on dd2 she wasn't too fused with me lol. She came in every day for a few hours at a time.

My two youngest girls where 13 mths and 24 mths when I had my second c-section.
They came and visited me the next day in the afternoon, I was up and about by then and we took them down to the nursery to visit their brother. I could hug them and have them sitting on my bed with me, but they had to be gentle of mummy's tummy.
I Was only in hospital for three days and they coped at home really well, daddy lets them get away with anything.
I couldn't lift them for the first few days but once I was home DH had to go straight back to work so I had to do it myself after that, my 13 mth old was only tiny still so not to heavy and my would climb on the couch so I could lift from there.
My recovery was quite good and quickly I was doing things relatively normally.
They both copped really well with it as was only a short time that things were a little strange.

My DD was 5 when DS1 was born so there wasn't many issues there. She climbed up beside me to cuddle me and knew to be careful of my sore tummy.
I am going to go through it all again in Feb when our 3rd (and last) baby arrives and DS1 will be about 15 mths (and is a real mummies boy) so some of this has been helpful to me too.

DD was 2 and 10months when DS was born.
She was his first visitor. I had him at 12.30pm and she was there just after 5. She climbed right on up. I was just propped up but the epidural hadn't worn off quite by then so it didn't worry me. She was too busy with the baby to notice I was a/unable to get up and b/had a couple of extra tubes. By the time she came back next day after CC they were gone. It was exciting to have picnic dinners with mummy on the bed.
She had been at daycare that day so wasn't bundled off anywhere different. It was exciting getting to spend a few hours with people she adored in the few hours when they hospitalised me and DH was 6hours away at a funeral. She then got an impromptu holiday a few days later with Nan and Pop so that was even cooler. When she came home a week later there we were. She never once skipped a beat.
I had been on bed rest for many many weeks before that so she was used to having to climb up next to me and into my lap when i was sitting or otherwise just holding my hand. No way I could have lifted her when sitting. But I am starting with DS now. When he wants to be picked up I hold his hand until I can sit down and then get him to climb up. Same with his carseat/stroller etc.

DD was 26 months when I had second C-Section

- when after your CS did they come to visit? I had him about 16:00 (e-csect planned a VBAC) on a Sunday so no visitors that day and the next day she was in daycare and came afterwards (my mum came in the UK - she was staying with us from UK to help with DD)
- how you/they managed with you not being able to pick them up for weeks afterwards - I hadn't been picking her up for the last bit of pregnancy unless I couldn't avoid it, so she was used to it and would say "Mummy can't pick me up - sore tummy" - my mum was staying with us for about 8 weeks post birth so once DH was back at work she did any picking up that was required (but didn't need that much just in and out of car really)
- how they coped with you being in hospital for those few days - she was fine - had DH and Grandma and came to visit twice I went in Sun came home Wed
- were you comfortable having them sit on your lap and give them a cuddle? - yes on lap and cuddling was no problem at all
- could you lift them while sitting? - at the beginning no, but I had very bad stomach muscle separation in addition to the c-section so really weak in that area full stop. I think I would have struggled without my mum being around.

DS1 was 2 when ds2 was born.

- when after your CS did they come to visit? He came up as soon as he was awake after his sleep about 3.30. I had my Ceasar at 12

- how you/they managed with you not being able to pick them up for weeks afterwards. I would sit down or get down on my knees and hug him. TBH I was picking him up within 2 wks and he's a pretty heavy kid. Wasn't the best idea, but I did. I used to just say I had a sore tummy and he was pretty ok with that.

- how they coped with you being in hospital for those few days. He was good. He came up every day and would play with me and DS2. He was spoilt rotten by his grandparents though. I must admit that it did affect him with his sleep for a while afterwards. He would wake up during the night wanting one of us to cuddle him.

- were you comfortable having them sit on your lap and give them a cuddle?. He didn't sit on my lap, but he would snuggle up next to me on the hospital bed and cuddle me or on the couch when I got home.

- could you lift them while sitting? Not for a few weeks. I tried not to anyway's. There wasn't really any need as DS could get up most places on his own.


I really just made sure that when I said something was sore it was just sore, it wasn't because of DS2 so he wouldn't resent ds2 and I made sure I cuddled him as much as I could. Had him on my bed with me while in hospital and generally reassured him. He was pretty good all in all.

DD was 15 months when I had my CS.
She came to visit that morning, it was important to me that she was the first visitor and I couldn't keep my family away for long! She coped okayish with my not being able to lift her. DH was always on hand to pick her up as he's the SAHD but when she did want me, I just knelt down and cuddled her or sat down on the ground. There were tears though, I'm not going to lie. DD was fine for 3 days without me but then started being a bit unsettled at night. She visited every day though and dealt with things in general really well. I couldn't lift her while sitting but I was comfortable with her being on my lap. Hope this helps :)

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I'm pretty sure that I am going to opt to have a scheduled CS with this bub. But the thing that scares me most about it is how DS is going to cope. He will be 2 and 9 months when bubs arrives. So it would be wonderful if you could share yours and your LO's experience with you having a CS with your second, or subsequent children. I'm interested to know:

- when after your CS did they come to visit? I had initially thought that DS would come that afternoon, but then my sister said it might be best to wait till the next day when I'm up and about and don't have tubes etc - she thought that might be upsetting/scary for him...
- how you/they managed with you not being able to pick them up for weeks afterwards
- how they coped with you being in hospital for those few days
- were you comfortable having them sit on your lap and give them a cuddle?
- could you lift them while sitting?

I think that's the key things, I'm sure there's more... But would love it if you could share your experience. TIA

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My first son was 4 when I had a cs so I won't use my experience there. But my other 3 were all cs. Ds2 was 23 months and ds3 was 25 months They were there when I went into theatre and got to meet bub properly before I did and then they came into my room later that day. They were very gentle because dh had told them my belly was sore from a cut. In hospital they were very good and gentle with not bumping the bed. Once I was up and about they were still good and could understand mummy couldn't pick them up. They would climb onto the chair or bed and cuddle me or dh would place them gently

Once I got home they were even better. Kids understand a lot more then we give them credit for. Explain to him what will happen. Maybe even YouTube some videos of a baby being born via cs (if you are comfortable with that) I showed my sons when the cut would be made on my own tummy and theirs.

One other thing I forgot. How they coped with me being away. I think I found it harder then they did. Ds2 was a bit miffed at me the first night home and just wanted daddy and at first I was upset but then I realized he has been through a big change as well. Ds3 couldn't care less :lol: he actually only visited me a couple time when I was in hosp after having dd. it was hard having 3 up there lol. Once I was home though ds3 wanted mummy to do everything but dh just gently explained that my tummy was still a bit sore and when I was able I did as much as I could. Ie stand in the bathroom with them while dh looked after bub. Or sit and read a story.

DS2 was born just before 9 am and at 1230 DH left and came back just after 2pm with DS1 and my mum. I wanted DS1 to be first visitor to
His brother. I made sure DS2 was in cot when his brother arrived, DH showed DS2 to him and then he sat in bed with me for a while. He did think it was fun to touch IV and catheter lines, they didn't stay long as he was only 18 months old. He then came in 2 days later and each day after that,

He coped ok but he had my mum in day and night and DH at night and sometimes during some days!

I have had 3 c-sections. When my 2nd was born he was 2 years 2 months and when my youngest was born my eldest was 3.5 and my 2nd was 16 months.

For my 2nd section my eldest at 2 was a little scared of the tubes etc but it wasn't a huge deal, for both they came and saw me in the hospy the afternoon after the surgery. They survived great without me whilst I was in hospital. I was a little worried but my husband never had any issues with them for those couple of days (I was only on hospital 3 days with each of them)

I had some help with family in the first few weeks after surgery for the heavy lifting. But I spent the weeks leading up to surgery teaching my littlies how to climb into car seats, booster seats and beds to make life a little easier. After a week or two I would get them to climb onto the couch and pick them up from there.

I never had any issues with them sitting on my lap. My pain was always fairly minimal. I was worried how I would cope with the other kids after each surgery but after its happened you just make it work and you'll find you were stressing for no reason. At least that's what I found.

jack was 3 yrs 1 month he was at the hopsital at 3hrs post c-sect he knew I couldn't get up he knew to be careful he was great actually the next day when I was up adn walking he got to give me proper cuddles and stuff

Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, you've all helped to make me feel a little less anxious about how it will effect DS :grouphug: