more planning: visits for a 21mo to see their new sibling

ok, more planning ...

DS will be 21 months old when Ziggy is born.

We've organised for my brother to bring DS in shortly after the birth - probably an hour or two later, so we can both be clean or stitched or whatever is needed, and I can have given Ziggy their first feed, and DH and I can meet them a bit.

That would all obviously be quite tricky with DS there!

But what about the days after ... ?

When DS was born, DH basically was in the hospital all day - but I can't imagine that DS is going to be happy sitting around the hospital ...

What have others done?

With each subsequent child and hospital stay we decided that DH would make the existing children his priority - I am big enough and ugly enough to be left alone:lol:!

Basically DH would bring the kids in during the day for a visit (usually no more then an hour or so) - they wouldn't stay too long as they would start to get noisy and would want to run around. He would then take them home and either go to work and someone eg my mum or MIL look after them, or he would stay with them for the day. In the evening he would then come back while someone else fed the kids and put them to bed and he would stay a few hours then.

Dd1 was with her nanna's during the day and they would bring her in and dh would be with her overnight. With ds both girls were with dh more often as my mil was working. The girls loved coming in to visit and sat on the floor drawing and would have dinner. There always lots of cuddles for the newborn too.

With our lot (18mths - 2 years between kids) the grandparents had the kids. With bub #2, grandma brought in #1 daily for a visit. For bub #3 the mum was happy to only see the kids every couple of days, same with her hubby and he brought the kids in with him.

WooHoo yah for ziggy :)

DD2 was born in the middle of the night so DP went home and DD1 was the first person bought in to see her the next morning.
My mum was staying with us so she came in my car and DP in his (if he had to leave or they did) and whoever had my car took DD1 but she came in every morning and every evening.
DP had to work the morning we came home so my mum came to get us and DD1 got to help dress her sister to come home, DD1 was 15mths at the time.

My mum bought DD in the first morning, and then took her home for the arvo. Later on, DH bought DD back in, and from memory, I think my parents took her home to put her to bed.
The next day, DH came in about 10am with DD, and after I had fed DS, who was in neonates, I took DD for a walk and to feed the ducks at the hospital so I could spend some time with her, and DH could spend some time with DS. We didn't plan on her staying long, but she fell asleep in the pram, so she was parked in the corridor in neonates (we were in a overflow room, with only 1 other bub as DS was only there for ABS). Then when she woke up, my mum came in for a while, so DH took DD home. Then my mum went back to our house to look after DD so DH could come back. The next day, DH had to work (he was in court so no getting out of it) and DD was in childcare anyway. When DH finished he collected DD and came to take us home as we were discharged that day. Hope that hasn't confused you!!

Does he normally go to childcare while you're working? Because I'm having a scheduled CS we've booked it in so that DS will have CC for the three days after bubs arrives. We're thinking DH will bring him in for a visit before and after CC, but are generally planning on trying to maintain as much of his normal routine as possible while I'm in hossy. That way he can go and have fun with his friends, rather than be at home wondering why mummy isn't with him, DH will have time with bubs and I and DS will get visits as well.

DD2 was born in the afternoon and DD1 was at home being looked after by my mum. As soon as she woke from her nap, mum bought her in and they stayed for an hr or 2. Mum then took her home and DH stayed and went home later that night. Mum stayed the night at our place. The next day DH came in early and I was supposed to be going home in the morning. They took their time organising my discharge papers, etc so I didn't get home until late afternoon and was really missing DD1 by that time but she was fine. So it worked out fine for us because I only stayed one night. How long are you planning on staying?

DS2 was born just before 0900 so DH went and got DS1 and my mum and came back at 1400 for around an hr then went home with them.

Next day DH came in the morning and stayed a while then went home and came back in evening DS1 did not come in.

Day 2 DH went to work and came in evening with mum and DS1

Day 3 DH came with DS1 to patk hyatt

Day 4 was at park hyatt so DH and DS1 came in and spent most of day with me.

Mum was with DD1 when DD2 was born and thye came in a couple of hours after but she is an active girl and after about 20 minutes had had enough. If I have to stay in for more than one night I plan on going down to the courtyard with the girls and feeding the ducks, bringing bubs with us if she is ok or leaving DH with bubs depending on how things are going. Im hoping to be home within 24 hours though!

ETA food is a great distraction if they are getting bored, sultanas or museli bars, little packets of popcorn (make sure someone is watching though because I hate the thought of kids picking up food from the floor in hospitals, and yes I have seen it happen and have seen parents let kids do it!!)

When DD2 was born DD1 was 22 months. She stayed with her grandparents for 3 nights, it didnt go down well at all for her or the grandparents as they bought her in to see me and the new baby every day and it was too much on the grandparents and too much of a change for DD1 and in the end caused arguments and stress to me in hospital. So this time recently hubby minded both the existing kids DD1 (4 1/2) and DD2 (2 1/2) at the time and they came to visit me and the new baby once a day but always went back to our house, it worked sooooooooooooooooo much better.