Wanting to support my cousin... Is this email okay?

Hi all :D My cousin's pregnant, and I want to support her with her second try at breastfeeding. She gave up while still in hospital with her first, because the midwife (doctor?) told her she didn't have enough milk. I think she's realised that information might be wrong, because I know she wants to bf this bub. I was going to send her this email, but I want to check with everyone that it's worded okay. I really want her to succeed in this!



"Hey, Mum said you were planning to give breastfeeding another chance? I had an idea for a present for you, but I thought of run it by you first. I was thinking I would pay for a subscription/membership to the Australian Breastfeeding Association for you. Even just the book you get on sign-up is really helpful, especially of you read it while you're still pregnant. Knowing how everything works is one of the best things you can do if you want to be successful in it :) There's also a 24/7 helpline you can call if you have any problems. Though that's not a members-only thing, anyone can call that.

Let me know if you want me to do it or not :) I can lend you a couple of the magazines they send out so you can get a feel for it all, too."

Sounds fine :) not pushy or preachy at all.

Presuming she didn't join before?
The email sounds fine, it's a good idea

what a fabulous idea :)

I think the email reads well.

I tend to phrase things like that as, "I'd really like to shout you ..." because I think it sounds a bit lower key, but that's just a personal preference.

again - what a super idea!

That's very thoughtful of you. Just a thought (as someone who didn't have milk first time round) it might be worth you ringing her and striking up a conversation about BF and finding out her stance on it and what plans she has for this baby. In my situation (and no, I am not your cousin, I realise everyone is different) I believed I couldn't BF EVER, so I would have loved it if someone had taken my hand and talked to me about my options. Please speak to her in person about it, the email is lovely but not very personal, she'll either accept or decline and probably never give it a 2nd thought.

It's such a hard situation to know what to say and how someone will respond isn't it? A friend from mother's group recently had her second. She had issues breastfeeding her first and ended up expressing for 6 weeks then giving up. This time around she had problems again but rather than express she went straight to formula. It was so hard to know whether the right thing for me to do was to offer additional support and help, or to just leave her to make up her own mind. I ended up not doing anything because at times I almost feel like I'm rubbing it in people's faces that I'm still breastfeeding my 2yr7mth old, my 11 month old and I'm pregnant. I know I should just be proud, but I recognise that when someone has problems with breastfeeding it can be really difficult for them emotionally.

Having said that, I think your email is written quite well and I don't think any offence would be taken :)

Tinks - She's actually said she wants to BF, and though she didn't seem to upset about it, I know she wanted to BF her son. I had the idea before I heard she wanted to, but she told my mum she wanted to "give it a red hot go"...

sounds like a great idea. You could also maybe tell her that even if BFing doesn't work for her, the ABA is still a fabulous & non-judgemental resource/support organisation if she needs it :)

I think the email is good - and I know sometimes people think email is not personal but I think for something like this can be great. IMO sometimes when you are talking it is difficult to come up with the right words or phrases and if the person listening thinks the topic comes out of the blue can get defensive etc, mishear etc etc, but with an email you can read it and process it and also compose a response in your own time.

(Also if she is keen you might want to let her know about the ABA Local Groups and the Breastfeeding Education Classes - depending on how comfortable people are speaking on the phone and what their style of absorbing information is these can really help some people)

i think that sounds great!

I would shout her the aba breastfeeding class which also includes a subscription.

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I would shout her the aba breastfeeding class which also includes a subscription.

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If you can afford this, this would be a great idea. If it's too exxy, maybe make it a gift from the whole family.
I think the email sounds great. The only thing I would add is maybe something about your personal experience with ABA, e.g. "I found the book really helpful..." or something along those lines. :)

Pretty sure the class is only about $20 more and includes the subscription. Haven't looked recently tho.

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Pretty sure the class is only about $20 more and includes the subscription. Haven't looked recently tho.

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Yes am sure is only about $20 on top of the subscription (there are not many classes listed on the website at the moment but this is just because of the Christmas period, there will be many more running next year am sure - I have been a demo mum at several and just in our region there is normally one a month) - one benefit of these is if you go to one in your area you are likely to meet other people from the local ABA group which is nice if planning to go to group meetings.