Resettling

At what point do you go and pat/touch to resettle? DD (8 weeks) settles really well at night usually without any resettling at all. Day sleeps, however, are another matter. I feed to sleep so day pattern is generally wake, feed, play, top-up, sleep. Recently DD has either only had 45 mins (not moving into 2nd stage sleep) at a time (twice today) or none at all (3-4 days over past 10 days). I know that a lot of babies don't have the 'ideal' 15-16 hours of sleep a day as the 'experts' advise, but no day sleeps can't be good. At time of putting to bed she is exhibiting two or more tired signs and is put to bed dopey but not fully asleep. Do you resettle at the first sound or later? If at first sound, could that create a bad habit of DD expecting someone to come each time she makes a sound or am I reading too much into it?
Any suggestions would be gratefully received! :)

She is too little for bad habits. If going to her when she wakes is what feels right then that's what you should do. She's so tiny and sometimes little ones cry because they just need to be close to us. Follow your instinct, you're doing a great job :)

It's an interesting thing that Tressillian and karitane in NSW have publically moved away from controlled crying/controlled comforting/self settling (call it what you will....) The new thing is "parental presence" (god give me strength - I've had to put up with this for waaaaay too many years. Yes, after 20 odd years they have worked out that babies just want to be with their parents, and that while all children eventually move away from their parents, babies need to be with other people. Sadly, a generation of parents have been sold a pup - they have been led to understand they are "doing the wrong thing" by holding their baby while they go to sleep, and that they will *create bad habits*. It's just not the case. Feel free to experiment with what works best for your baby. At eight weeks she is doing beautifully. And 15-16 hours of sleep in 24hrs? Babies need to feed at least 8 -12 times in 24 hours - the maths just doesn't stack up. You are doing such a great job. Enjoy it.

my DS would work himself up from 0 to 10 within seconds so i always felt picking him up on the first sound was the right thing for him. he also napped on me until he was almost 6 months old. that was the best way for us to get him to sleep for longer because we could gently rock or pat before he really woke up. i'm not sure how we'll go this time round because that technique won't be quite so practical - i'm thinking a sling/carrier is going to (hopefully) be our saviour! i also fed back to sleep - it was the gentlest & easiest way to extend naps & have a well rested baby. i weaned him at 20 months without any issue.

maybe even try to put your DD to bed after one tired sign :dunno: i'm pretty sure i missed tired signs when my DS was little & didn't get him down for a nap soon enough.

i wouldn't worry about bad habits - my DS was a terrible sleeper but grew out of it himself. we never let him cry or waited to resettle. you do what feels right for you & for your baby. and she really is still so teeny tiny!

Thanks for your replies! I love having her fall asleep on me and snuggling. :)
Next query is: should I be waking her overnight to feed (for supply reasons, not just to feed her?). She's just woken for a feed at 4am after going to bed at 9pm. :D Is that too long a gap between feeds to ensure a good supply is maintained? I'm going with if she was hungry, she'd wake up earlier. TIA :)

Exactly! In the long run the baby drives supply. Baby takes what he needs to take. When you are sure they are off to a good start, go with their rhythm.

Really sounds like you and your baby are doing beautifuly sleeping and feeding. Bubs sounds very content :D

In my experince yes at the age your little one is at the day sleeps become a bit of a challenge. Like someone else has said experiment a little and see what works for you both. Idealy bub would benifit from a day sleep longer than 45 min at a time so if you can figure out how to do this that would be great. It may be patting, a quick hug or with DS1 i would be ready for his expected wake and put him in the pram and we'd go for a walk to get another hours sleep our of him. Then once bub gets the understanding that sleeps are a little longer hopefuly your help won't be needed so much.

This worked with my boys but DD barely ever slept more than 1hr at a time during the day.

Don't even think of the term bad habits. There are patterns we can get into that may become signs for bub to know what is happening and when but if this becomes a sign you don't necessarily want to have bub get used to some gentle changes over time will fix that.

I have just gotten my DD our of a feed to sleep routine, she was so dependant on it that i could barely settle her any other way. But within a matter of a month of me making gradual changes we're at a place that i'm much more happy with. I'm not saying feeding to sleep is a bad thing if it is what works though, it just came to the point where it was not working for us anymore.

So good luck, be confident to do what works best for you guys. Things will change over time, be it for your own reasons or for bubs but either way the main thing is you relax and enjoy your little one :)