karitine sleep and settle class

Hi All
Yesterday i went to the karitine class and they had some good ideas about not nursing baby to sleep,instead placing baby into cot and patting baby to sleep. The past two days i have tried it and bubs has not liked this at all!! what do you other mums do? Hayley is only 13 days old and she sleeps 4 -5 hours no problems. I nurse her to sleep it only takes a couple of minutes and really doesn't stir again until next feed. Am i setting myself up for a bad time when she is a little older ?? feedback would be great

Thanks
Vanessa

Hi vanessa I'm not to sure what the karitine class is about... But when Matilda was that little we had a really hard time settling her, and the thing to remember is that they are so young everything you do is to help them. Don't worry about setting them up for harder times when they are older, right now they only need to understand your security & comfort! :) If your little one settles easily in your arms, thats fantastic. Keep on & slowly get to transfer to bed. It sounds like she sleeps reall well going 4-5 hours! And right now nursing her to sleep is working, YAY! Baby's change heaps during the first year and things will change as she gets old.

One think I constantly have to remind myself, Happy mummy = happy household... and if you are happy with the way things are going, then thats great, if you aren't try something else until you try something that works best for you & your family.

Here are some old discussions we've had on this same subject... there are heaps more down the pages of this section on settling....

but here are three one, two, and three

HTH! :D

hi Vanessa, congratulations on the birth of your little Hayley. When Yasin was born all the midwifes,family, antenatal teacher etc said you can't let him nurse to sleep, he has to have a feed, play sleep routine. Only one midwife who had 4 children herself said that she had nursed her babies to sleep and I if wanted too that I shouldn't feel bad about it.
So when Yasin was a newborn I nursed him to sleep and after a few weeks gradually changed to a feed, play sleep routine.
We have had a few problems with sleep but no more than some people who have been strict about the 'right' routine since day one. Now that I look back a tiny bit of me is sad that I didn't let him nurse to sleep for longer because I really enjoyed those special moments of holding my contented sleeping little baby. I geuss that the important thing is that he doesn't end up sleeping only when he is nursed to sleep so maybe you should start trying one or two sleeps a day using other methods. You can try a few things other than the bottom patting such as rocking her bassinet, or putting her in a pram in pushing it back and forth.
I still nurse him to sleep at night sometimes because I think he will sleep longer on a full stomach and during most of his midnight feeds he falls asleep and I put him down asleep which is great because it saves me from settling him when I would rather be sleeping myself.
HTH
I hope we'll see you chatting in the 1-6 months forum soon. The 0-1 month forum is a bit quiet so don't be shy to pop into the 1-6 month forum.
btw welcome to bellybelly

I say let her feed to sleep. She is still very young & to young to expect her to learn a new settling technique. Allowing her to have the breast when ever & for how ever long even for comfort sucks is going to help establish your milk supply. Once she is older if you feel its a problem then you can deal with it then. My DS#2 is just over 5 months & he doesn't really like falling asleep at the breast anymore.

When you think about it too, think of all that energy she is using up being upset trying to fall asleep without being nursed. No wonder she is waking more frequently.

Take on the advise you get but remember that they should only be suggestions for you to try. if it doesn't sit well with you or isn't working, do what is in your gut. You will know what works best. If you feel like what you have been told to do is an order & the only way it should be done then thats wrong.

Good luck & know that if you are happy, she is happy & your obviously doing a good job!

Hi Vanessa, and congratulations on the birth of Hayley :)
I have to say that I agree with what the others have written.
In my honest opinion I would think that 13 days is a little to young for them to expect babies to be able to fall asleep on their own/without nursing. Though I do know every baby is different.
I found with my son that for the first couple of months he would feed himself to sleep, and that worked well for us all. A good sleep for bubs on a full belly, means a good sleep for Mum... and I believe that is the most important thing.
I wouldn't stress to much about developing a bad habit by doing it either... at this early stage in her life if something is working well, then keep doing it!!
I found that Aidyn grew out of the need to feed himself to sleep by about 4 or 5 months, and I have heard the same is for a lot of babies. I don't believe there are many 'bad habits' you can give to a baby of such a young age. As long as you both are happy, and all of yours and Hayleys needs are being met, then you are doing a fantastic job :)

Goodluck with everything :)

Hi - I remember one of the health nurses saying to me when caitlin was just born that babies have no concept of being a baby, that they think they are still part of you. I don't know what relevance that has to your topic, but I thought it was profound at the time.

I wouldnt try any of that patting business until at least six months. I found caitlin slept well if she was wrapped firmly in a bunny rug, although she liked to squirm one arm out all the time.

It sounds like hayley is sleeping well between feeds, you cant ask much more than that at that age. I agree with the 'what ever works best for you' approach.

Cheers,
barb.

When Liam was six weeks old, he wanted to sleep less during the day, yet I was told he should sleep 3 out of 4 hours. So off I went to a sleep settle group, where they taught me to wrap baby, place baby on side and pat.

I tried for three days after this group trying to settle Liam this way, I was getting flustered because Liam was upset, and wouldnt settle away from my arms, eventually on the third day I realised that Liam wasnt a textbook baby and their textbook way of getting him to sleep and settle wasnt working, I also thought that if he needed to sleep he would.

My advice - do what your instinct says to!

Secondly, Liam is nearly eleven months old, for six of those months, I would let him snuggle his head into me and hold him until he closed his eyes and then place him in his bed. He is my first child and I havent had any problems putting him to bed, if I am not here he will fall asleep like that for my mum or DH. He was also wrapped which helped for him to assocaiate sleep.

Now, Liam may still want to snuggle with mum, to fall asleep, but generally I turn on his CD player,(relaxing music plays) I give him his dummy and he either lays down straight away (at about six months old he would lay straight down). If he is upset then I pick him up and hold him till he is calm, usually 2 songs(those songs are great for mum too), I place him down and he rolls over and closes his eyes. I try not to make it stressful for mum or Liam otherwise no one wins!

I dont think it is a problem unless you think it is a problem or you are feeling stressed because of it.

I agree with what the other girls have said........go with your gut instinct and what works for you and Hayley!

In those early weeks, whatever works for you and Hayley is best.....if nursing her to sleep helps her sleep well, I'd say go for it!

I know lots of women who do the wrapping/patting thing, but mostly from an older age? (Say, 2 months?)

Olivia hated being wrapped, and didn't sleep in a traditional cot until just recently, so we never went down that road.

I do like the sleep, feed, play routine, but I always added another step and gave her a feed before sleep again, so ours became sleep, feed, play, feed!

I know "they" always say don't nurse/feed a baby to sleep for fear of setting them up with "bad habits", but we still do it and Olivia is nearlya year old.

Although I don't feed her to sleep as such, I give her a feed, and then we have a cuddle whilst she is still awake, and make sure she has a burp, and then pop her down.

Best of luck.........

hi

i agree with everything else that has been said - i just wanted to pop in and say to lucy i do exactly the same as you with lani sleep/feed/play/feed/sleep - it works wonders for us and you can get an extra cuddle to.

speaking of cuddles - i say go for it lol there is nothing better in this world than holding a baby in your arms - especially a beautiful newborn sleeping in your arms - believe me when they get to around 4yrs of age you will be begging them to slow down a bit and have a cuddle lol

take it easy

Hello everyone,
how absolutely refreshing to hear your sensible replies here. I am constantly meeting mums at my baby massage classes and via personal emails who are totally confused by harsh advice to 'teach' newborns to self-settle - you may as well try and 'teach' them to ride a bike!

Really, babies need to learn to love, to feel secure at this stage- they have just come from your warm soft body so need a gentle transition from womb to room - in my book 100 Ways to Calm the Crying ( See www.pinky-mychild.com ), I have an entire chapter on "womb service" - recreating this environment as you help your baby adapt to the world.

You can make small changes at any stage - later on, as all of you mums have discovered - "Gradually with love" is my mantra. You make my heart sing!

If anyone is interested in learning baby massage - a sure fire sleep/ settling inducer -I am planning a class at Hawthorn in a couple of weeks -Friday mornings. Im also doing a lovely one on Sundays at South Melbourne Starting April - nice family time together.

Contact me or see my seminars page at - www.pinky-mychild.com

Pinky

I found Pinky's book on 100 ways to calm the crying really helpful! I actually have given my copy to my pregnant friend...

Hi, and welcome to this wonderful journey called motherhood. I agree with most of what has been written here, but I thought I would add my little bit too, in case it helps.

Charlie is 6 months old, and is having a few sleeping problems that have only cropped up recently. When he was very small, I used to wrap him up and leave his arms out because he moved them so much I thought he preferred to have them free. However, in desperation one day, I wrapped all of him up. Turns out he slept much better that way - what I didn't realise is that he didn't really know what to do with his arms as he didn't really have full control of them. Wrapping them up calmed him down, as when they were flailing around he worked himself up, and there was no way I could get him to sleep in that state! My point is that sometimes you will get it wrong and you shouldn't feel bad about this - you will get it right eventually. You need to trust your instincts, and even if you make a 'mistake', do what you feel is best, knowing that any 'mistakes' CAN be corrected when the time is right. Expecting that your baby will do all the 'right' things is like expecting you to know all about mothering right from the first second of your baby's life... you are both learning as you go along. Seek help, but rely on your on intuition. YOU will know your baby best.

Good luck with everything. Keep us informed, ok?

Thanks everyone for your responses it has cleared my mind. I am just going to keep doing what i am doing for now, how can you not nurse a newborn? its quality time and if its a bad thing later on i'll deal with it then!!

Hi I thought I'd say my bit!

I was told by my MCHN that you can't spoil your newborn enough, but to slowly get them into a routine. She told me that a newborn will usually have one 4hr sleep over 24hrs so don't let them sleep longer than 3 hours during the day at a time. Their body clock will settle with the longer sleep at night over a few days or my case weeks!
Angus slept through at 10wks. I always let him fall asleep at the breast untill he weaned himself at around 14mths. He loves the routine of saying goodnight, peekaboos, kisses etc.