Bridesmaids, should I bring it up? WWYD?

Deleted

Disappointing for you, but no I wouldn't bring it up. It's her choice to make. :hug:

I wouldn't bring it up. While this friend may be 'new', that doesn't mean they aren't close. It is her wedding and her choice who to include in the bridal party.

Lots of hugs - I wasnt in my own sisters bridal party. Instead she had her new sister in law and 2 work colleagues.

I guess maybe she expects you to say no so didn't even bother asking

oh hun it sucks, but I wouldnt bring it up either...

i second Miss Dee in saying just because the friend is new doesnt mean they arnt close... and having a bridesmaid who was interstate for me was hard enough let alone in another country. if the friend i chose to be my MOH lived in another country I wouldnt have asked her..

:hug: I wouldn't bring it up either sorry hun.

Personally I wouldn't bring it up either, I have a friend I've known my entire life (literally) but she wouldn't be in my wedding.
My best friend from
Back home probably wouldn't be either, I am quite close with some 'new' friends and although it might hurt its their special day and they should get to choose.
It doesn't mean your not important to them, maybe they expected you couldn't?


Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

i wouldnt bring it up either, especially since you would have declined the offer even if she did ask. she probably assumed you wouldnt do it due to living in a different country.

I'm sorry you feel so upset by the choice your best friend made. Unfortunately it is her decision and if it were me personally, I wouldn't ask why/why not? Perhaps offer to do something else for her that is important to her also. ((hugs))

I think the same as the other girls....

I was in a similar position - I had my two closest friends as man of honour and bridesmaid and I think my cousin may have expected to be included but wasn't, instead I picked a newer friend that I met in MBU. It was very much a support thing - no one could understand panic disorder better than us two so when the day came and I panicked and didn't want to be touched at hair and make up she understood - when the artist or my other friends although supportive couldn't. And the same for when she panicked and couldn't do the reading - last minute my MOH did - I didn't care and we had a hug afterwards. :) she is having another baby soon and I expect I'll be spending more time with her then her closest friends - because we just understand sometimes we just need each other there not to do or say anything but just because the other person knows!

Maybe your friend assumed because you were overseas that you couldn't take her offer??


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I wouldn't really take it personally. It is more than likely just because you live overseas. I had a bridesmaid who lived 4 hours away, that was hard enough. I would never ask someone who lives overseas.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

:hug: i have to say i wouldn't bring it up either. i lived overseas for a number of years and missed out on a few things like this. it is hard & people don't seem to realise that you still very much want to be part of their lives, albeit from a bit of a distance. people always assumed my life was more interesting & that i didn't want to hear about or be involved with things from home. the reality is that it's not like that at all. she's probably just thinking of it from that sort of perspective & that perhaps she doesn't want to make you feel pressured to come back etc.

Thank you all so much for the replies. I guess I'll just leave it. Things like this just really get to me because I realise what I've missed out on by living so far away (where really I don't want to be anymore). I completely understand it's her decision and I do respect that.

Thanks again.

:hug: kaydee. it's one of the reasons i came home in the end - i didn't want to miss out on things like that anymore. but i was lucky because it was pre-DP & children & so moving back only affected me.

If I was the bride, I wouldn't have asked you, because I wouldn't have wanted to put the financial pressure on you to travel OS for my wedding :). I wouldn't ask her either.

I would be concerned that if I asked you, you would feel some sort of obligation to do it, maybe thats what she thought.
Sorry this has happened to you though. :(

I agree with others, I wouldn't bring it up. Quite possibly she didn't ask you because to her a bridesmaid helps with the general planning in the run up to the wedding (visiting venues, choosing a band, etc) and she felt that this was unachievable with you living so far away. Or perhaps this new friend is actually a very important person in her life. Don't take it to heart, it is her wedding and her decision :hug: