Desperately need advice about another week at sleep school

I am about to finish my first week of sleep school and it has been recommended to me to stay another week, not because DD hasn't improved, but because I have severe PND and the hospital think I may not cope with following the routine at home. They believe 1 more week will consolidate my DD new self settling skills and my new meds will kick in while I am in a supportive environment.

The thing is, I miss home. I miss my husband, I miss my cats, I miss doing what I want when I want, but most of all I don't want my DD to return to an unfamiliar home. I cry each night and can't see how being lonely, depressed and constantly doubting myself with no one late at night to talk to except the nurses is beneficial. The other mothers are great but they won't be here next week and my husband is 40 minutes away.

I am meant to be getting more sleep but feel more anxious knowing she is so far away and that a stranger (even though the nurses are really fantastic!) has to get me to settle her. I still check up on her regularly throughout the night so even though I am no longer night feeding, I am still up.

The program so far has been great. My DD who is 9 months is sleeping through the night with nothing longer than a 3-5 minute grizzle (crying, talking, humming, laughing, squealing that is off and on with breaks inbetween). However her day sleeps are still a struggle but I can live with that if she continues to sleep at night.

I am keen to follow the program initially to the letter,but in the long run, I know it will be adjusted because it's too strict for me and means I will literally be house bound. It doesn't account for the fact that I truly believe that my DD doesn't need 4 hours of day sleep on top of 12 hours uninterrupted sleep at night. I am sure I can follow the program closely but I know at home there will eventually be changes.

I feel really scattered at the moment. I keep changing my mind and really need to make a decision. My husband wants me home but also thinks I should follow any recommendations given to me.

What would you do? I guess I need to know if it really is difficult to keep the routine in place while at home and what are the chances my daughter will fall of the wagon if I start making changes. I would hate to think that everything I have done in the past 5 days would be thrown out the window and I would have to start again.

I think you should stay. I was in a MBU with PND. The first week was tough. I stayed for two, and came home in a much better frame of mind.

I agree with lilima.
I know its hard, but that extra week could give you a lot more strength.
I had enough of MBU after three days and stayed for three weeks.
In the end do what feels right but I would definitely recommend sticking it out if you can.

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Sorry I don't have any experience with the PND side of things.

I have done sleep school though when my DS2 was 4 months old. I won't beat about the bush it is hard to keep the routine at home. Life happens, when you're at the hospital there is no interruptions that is what you & the nurses are there to do. Having said that if you are not as worried about the day sleeps as much then the night time sleep is generally the easiest in terms of doing winding down etc. At 9 months they are also more aware that this is the long sleep so find that it is when my DS gives us the most trouble :) You are right in saying they do change what works today may not work tomorrow & with illness, teeth etc sometimes it can be a while till you get back on track continuity is the key, with some giving in along the way for an easy life when you just can't handle anymore. From about 9 months they can remember the routine and it becomes easier. My DS for about 3 months would go down without a hitch for his lunchtime sleep but would cry hysterically when he new it was time for his long sleep.

Could you try going home & if you found it hard going back? Would the sleep school get you a spot straight away? Only you will know in yourself whether staying would do more harm than good for you. Do you have a lot of support at home? Friends & family that you can visit during the day to get out of the house when your DD doesn't want to sleep etc. In the grand scheme it is one more week & even after a week away your DD will have to get used to having the same routine at home.

I hope I have given some useful advice & that you can come to a decision your happy with.

:hug: Hansie

Hansie- sleep school for sleep troubles, and sleep school for PND are very different. Theyare prob recommending another week to stabilize meds, and make sure she is ok.

It sounds like staying another week might have bigger benefits long term. :hug: as you make your decision.

take care

I too was recently in MBU for PND and help with settling. I initially was going to only stay 1-2 weeks but ended up staying 5. I was really hard at the time because like you I missed my partner, I felt guilty for being there and separating our family, I wanted to return to reality so badly but deep down I knew I still needed more help with DD. Looking back now it was the best thing I ever did and would do it over if I had to. You don't wanna go home to soon only to fall into a pit again and undo all the hard work youve already done. Your DD will adjust very quickly to going back home, the first day my DD was a little unsettled because it was a 'new' environment for her again but they are very adaptable.
I wish you all the best

I do not have PND experience at all but the way i see it is... You are there, the benefit of further help is being offered, take it :hug:

Maybe look at it as last week was the time to help your little girl, get her into a bit of pattern that allows her to get better sleep therefore thrive and grow and be a happy little bub and the week to follow is about you. YOU are just as important and a happy and healthy mum will result in a happy and healthy bub.

Best of luck in whatever you decide xo

Can your DH stay with you for the next week? Or even a couple of nights?

Thanks so much for the advice. Even though I really want to be at home I am going back for another week. Just being home for 2 days has been enough for me to know that I will probably ruin the routine that we have worked so hard for.

I hope you find your decision to take another week of help and guideance wothwhile. Make you sure you let us know how you go :hug:

Just a tip on the sleep routine side of things... From my own experience i am definately a fan of them, the predictableness of the day for the little ones is very comforting for them. So if you could spend some time at home establishing this for the sake of having a bub who is happy and hopefully easy to get to sleep and then once you are comfortable with that you have a good routine going, a day or two here and there out of routine won't (hopefully :lol:) throw bub too much.

Good luck and i really do hope you go home at the end of the week with many positive feelings from your expereince :hug:

I think you've made the right decision. I wish you all the best.