5th birthday party - how do I not invite all of his kinder classmates?

I'm wanting to throw DS a party this year for his 5th birthday. I would like to have it at home, although being in the middle of July it might be horrid weather, so destination isn't yet locked in (and yes I'm trying to organise this early!!).

He goes to 4yo kinder. He's known a lot of the kids there for at least 3-4 years. His class is reasonably large at 20 children, but I'm not sure that I could handle 20 children at my house, along with parents and anyone who decides to bring siblings.....
How do you NOT invite certain children? Do I have say a limit of 10 friends that he chooses (which could change from day to day), or do I just suck it up and accept that there will be 20 children and start saving my $$ ?
What would you think if your child wasn't invited to another child from their kinder's party?

I'm starting to think that maybe I should just not ever throw a party... this is going to be so difficult.

We decided that with DD it had to be either the whole class or a very small number.. like 4 or 5 close friends. I saw the hurt a friends daughter went through at being one of only 2 or 3 left out and that was horrible.

ETA: I think if you go the small number its fine to put on the invites, Please be aware we have not been able to ask the whole class o something so it can be kept quiet.

I remember someone here posting that they can ask the number of children for their age - so if turning 5 invite 5 friends! I think that is a great way to get around it and is a reasonable number to have at a party !Good luck working it out. xox

We just faced a similar dilemma with DS wanting to invite everyone but a few. In the end we have invited everyone and yes that means about 25 kids in total. Also means we are probably going to have a 2nd party later that day for family and friends.

I was having this exact same discussion with my DH this morning. DD2 wants a party at The Fairies, that has a maximum of 12. There are 14 little girls in her class, together with her sister and a close family friend we've got big numbers problems. I have no idea what I'm going to do in terms of who to invite and who to leave out.

DD1 has two pre-primary parties next weekend - both kids turning 5. One of them has invited everyone in the class and the party is going to be at an indoor play centre. The other is also at an indoor play centre but it doesn't seem as if everyone is invited, but most are. Its caused a few difficult moments. TBH I wouldn't be upset if my DD wasn't invited to a party in the class unless she was the only child not invited - they I would want to know why in case there was a bigger issue that needed addressing.

Is it not possible to have a BBQ lunch at a park?

For my eldest we invited everyone in the class and had it at an indoor playground (when he turned 5) His birthday is in July. It was a little exxy but the kids had a ball..

For DS2 and 3 we did the same thing.. invited everyone but had it at a park. Ds2 was meant to have a jumping castle and everything but the rain (2010) started so we switched to a room at the library.. Over 30 kids plus parents.. Loud yes but kids loved it..

the way of kinder world at our kindy is that the carers slip an invite into the pigeon hole without telling the invited child and then they let the parents know upon pick-up. this has happened heaps and i know there were parties that others were invited to that DD wasnt and it all worked out (ie, no hurt feelings etc). but it does take discretion on part of the kinder carers ITMS.

My kids old school had a rule that invites couldnt be handed out in class - it was unfair to those who missed out. Keep it smaller, just post out the invites instead :)

You are assuming all the children will attend. Do they usually all turn up at a party? Yes, it is a risk though.

I would only invite about 5 kids if I wanted it small and I would ask/give the invites to the parents, not the kids.

A park BBQ would be awesome if I lived in a town and we had a park, but we're very rural.
I could do a play centre thing, but honestly I'm not prepared to spend hundreds of dollars. July is generally freezing here aswell, so I have to have an indoor backup plan.

What do you think of only inviting boys? I HATE the idea personally(because I don't like to divide the genders and have DS thinking there is a massive difference between boys and girls at his age), but there are only 5 boys in the class. Obviously DD will be there (but she is pretty tom boyish anyway and will fit right in).
Argh. I'm most likely totally over analysing everything, but I would hate for anyone to feel badly (and I want my son to have an amazing party... we don't have parties for the kids every year).

My son (also a July baby) had a birthday last year he was prep so didn't quite have the same issues as a kinder group. I had it at our local Leisure Complex (I live very rural so couldn't have it at my house) it was quite reasonable in price as I supplied my own food so I was only paying for the hostess and the room.

I ended up only inviting boys my son had 2 girls he wanted to invite but I felt they might have been uncomfortable amongst 10 boys. If it was more even in numbers I wouldn't have minded. That being said it worked well with the all boys, they had there laughs and boy jokes.

At my sons kinders there was several parties where only some kids were invited, like another post the invitations were placed in the pidgeon holes above the lockers so as a parent I didn't make a big deal of the invite in front of other children.