Weaning?? Feeling a little lost.

So we had a really rough journey breastfeeding and I was so excited when we reached 12 months last month and even more surprised to realise that I wasn't begging to give it straight up the minute she turned 12 months. And whilst I hated breastfeeding her as a baby I quite like breastfeeding her as a toddler and I am keen for us to keep going but my supply has struggled for a long time and I think I have basically dried up and as a result dd is not very interested at all.

She stopped night feeds a couple of months ago, I didn't do any night weaning with her, it was something she decided but she hasn't had night feeds in awhile. When she stopped them, my period came back and I noticed automatically a huge drop in my supply. But we were still managing 1-2 feeds a day. But now. Some days we might get 3 very quick feeds, other days are so busy that it's more like 1.

About 50% of the time there is no let down anymore and she is just sucking not swallowing or swallowing on about every 20th suck. When I squeeze them a spray of milk doesn't come out anymore its just a drop. So as I said I don't think there is much milk there. When she is actually wanting milk she is not happy with the breast and gets quite cross until milk is delivered in another force eg sippy cup, bottle. I'm more there when she needs a cuddle or bit of comfort.

So I am wondering if this is her way of weaning and I should just let go and let it happen. On the other hand I don't feel like I am ready to let go yet and want to try and increase my milk supply... and then I wonder if that makes me sound a little crazy considering her age. I guess I am just finding it really hard to let go of the breastfeeding when the two of us fought so hard to get here. Her and I are also so close and she is my little koala bear, I guess I am afraid she'll start to pull away from me if the breastfeeding ends completely. Arrrgh I don't know what to do and it's making me feel a little mental lol.

:hug: its a hard time and a hard decision. I think it cant be a bad thing to let her choose what she wants to do. Sounds like you are listening to her needs and following her lead already. FWIW I struggled to get milk to squirt from me too and I had a huge supply. There are a few threads about increasing supply, so if you arent ready to stop and want to give that a go and then see if your DD is still seeming like shes weaning then at least you know that you tried everything. She wont pull away from you, hun, you are just moving into a new chapter in her precious life :hug:

Assuming that there aren't any other factors that might be making her less inclined to feed - sore ears, sore throat, teeth, etc. I would also follow her lead - offer, enjoy your "feedlets" (and she may well be getting something), and congratulate yourself on getting this far!

I have a suspicion (it was certainly the case with my son) that bigger babies kind of work out how to suck and swallow at the same time, and it can be hard to see if they are actually swallowing. Can you make breastfeeding not something associated with milk, but a separate thing (that maybe happens after she's had some milk-in-a-cup) so that she is more inclined to persist?

I too struggled to get bf started with our first and only got to 4 months. Second child didn't have reflux and fed really well, but I still found it a bit of an emotional time when his feeds reduced after 12 months. A friend summed it up, when she said that you kinda half expect to be the one who decides to ween, so when it's infant-led, it's a bit of a surprise. We ended up just having one feed before bedtime and it got to the point where it was summer and we were hot and he was pulling off, so decided at around 14 months that that was going to be it.
I can understand you wanting to continue on with it, b/c it's such a special time with your bby. Can you still enjoy cuddles together if the feeds stop altogether? Instead of the pre-bed feed, I would sit up in my bed and read bedtime stories and have a cuddle.
Still, it's a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, isn't it?

The best way to increase supply is to get her to feed more. What if you had a nice bath with her and let her come on and off, on have some quiet time in bed together before her day sleep.

It's normal for babies of her age to drop feeds, but its also normal for them to pick up feeding again before they turn two. By 20 months dd was asking for boobie all the time.

Can you use it as a comfort thing too...so when she's hurt or upset just offer a boob.

It's very unusual for babies under 18 months to self wean...but fluctuating feed times and lengths is part of feeding a toddler.

Don't doubt the boobs! I would also stop offering milk in a cup if you want her to feed from you. The more she drinks from other sources the less she drinks from you...unless you want to reduce feeds?

Arcadia the only reason I was offering her milk in another way is there are times when boobie is just not good enough. When boobie is offered at those time she just keeps pulling off and crying and crying until I give it to her another way and then she's happy. I guess I'll just keep offering and she either takes it or she doesn't and whatever happens happens.

Yes, I think breastfeeding an older baby has a whole new raft of challenges. Does she feed for comfort or only for milk do you think?