No speaking - literally!

Ok, so I've posted my concerns bout DS before. But I'll do a refresher anyways.

DS is 2y5m in a few days time and he doesn't talk. Period. The most I've gotten from him is 'mumumumumum' and he babbles.
The thing that concerns me is that he used to talk and say a few things and have a decent vocabulary ('again', 'all gone', 'tata' just to name a few) and just before I found out I was pg with DD, just suddenly stopped saying them.
He's only just got 'mum' back, alternating; sometimes saying 'mummy', 'mumum' or 'mama'

DH is getting frustrated because he never says dad or dadad as much as we repeat it to him - causing me to get peeved at him so much because of the comments DS generates from DH because of that.
Here's just a couple of the gems.

'Well, looks like its all up to your sister now to be the shining star'
'Don't bother, he doesn't understand'
'Don't bother, he's never going to say dad'
'We might as well push your sister to do stuff, cause your not going to be a superstar'

There's a couple more I wanted to put but I can't remember them now.

Anyway, thing is, we're on the wait list for a speech therapist, audiology appt and OT and have been waiting since November last year. We were told that the hearing appt would be pretty quick to get into - and we're still waiting on that too.

Theres other things that concern me too with him.

* CHN and other people say that he should be 'feeding a bear' and 'making a cup of tea' and stuff like that - he doesn't do that, doesn't really understand that concept (but he does try to feed DD - by shoving the bottle in her mouth :p)
* He hates anything on his head or feet (but he's slowly getting used to shoes on his feet because of daycare)
* He doesn't imitate noises - eg a car honking its horn. He never used to push cars and play with them in the proper way. He does now but still doesn't do the noises
* He doesn't do what we ask. For example, we ask him to get his shoes but he just runs around. We ask him to get stuff and he doesn't. The only thing he does do are things that we point to and say 'Ta for mummy'
* He doesn't answer his name or acknowledge we've called his name out.
* He doesn't want to try new food, as much as we try
* He doesn't use a fork or spoon - even though he knows how to cause he used one from an early age.

Is there ANYTHING I can do? Honestly, it's starting to REALLY get to me now (I hate reading things online cause it gives me the worst outcomes - I currently have 9 tabs open reading different stuff)
Besides the wait for the audiology appt, speech and OT?
We really can't afford private speech therapy and I just want to see SOME kind of improvement soon.

Sorry for all the rambling

:hug: tried to send you a PM with some links but we were both over quota!! i've cleared mine now!

DarkDreamer what do you think is 'wrong' with him? Trusting your mummy gut, do you think he's okay?

I think you need to get your GP to chase those referrals up for you ASAP.

Or maybe just go for an evaluation at a Speechie? Ours was $200. I know it's a lot of $$ but it will help get things rolling.

DD - Can you call the places where you are on the waiting list and ask to be put on a list to call if there are any cancellations? Thats how dd got into her paed physio so quick at the hosp.

Also - Have you spoken to the daycare centre about your concerns? They should have access to services and may be able to point you in the direction of community based free or cheap services.

Can you get a referral from your GP to a good paediatrician who may be able to help you and explain your financial situation and you may be able to be bulk billed.

I know speech (and all therapies) can be very expensive if going privately, but it doesn't mean you are going really frequently all the time. Depending on what they think your DS needs, they may give you and the daycare exercises/ techniques/things to do at home with him and then see them only every 1-2/3 months. Also if you are already on the public waiting list maybe a few private lessons will make a bit of difference until you can get into the public ones?

I know in NSW depending on the child's needs the waiting lists can be up to 2 years for speech, so its not really something you want to be leaving that long.

I wish there was something I could do to reassure you, I guess all I can say is as an Early childhood teacher, Early intervention is the best and I have never met a parent who regretted paying for therapies (though I understand easier said than done.) We go to a paed very frequently for dd's reflux and have done since she was tiny and he doesnt bulk bill so we have spent a small fortune.

I'm not sure what to suggest exactly but I couldn't read without saying that the things that you wrote that your DH was saying to your DS were terrible. I felt so upset reading that someone could say such hurtful things to a child. I wonder if this is a part of why his speech is suffering. I'm no expert and I certainly don't want to judge you or your family but if those comments made me feel bad imagine how they are making your son feel.

I hope that this doesn't come across as too harsh, I really thought hard before posting but it's how I felt when I read your post.

Hi,

I am going to give some advice based on the info you have given. I could be right and i could be wrong, so please dont panic. The symptoms you have described are consistent with an autism spectrum disorder. I would recommend having a private assessment (you will need a speech, psychologist and pediatrician) if you can afford to. If you like pm me and I will give you details of who you could call for a quote. Mummy instinct is often correct so if your worried I suggest looking into it. Two outcomes can come of this a) everything is fine, you spent money but now have some tips on getting language going or b) you get a diagnosis early and you get the early intervention that will help your ds. I've have some good funding in wa which can help. Best wishes

DD, I think your instinct is right. Something is not adding up. It could be something as simple as his ears, it could be more.
Go to a GP and asked to be on care plan(they were called enhanced primary care plan or EPC) where you get so many of each of therapies you are talking about. At the moment, you are stuck in the system and it can have very long waiting lists. In the mean time, a GP that bulk bills could put on a care plan that that refers you to an OT, Speech and also psychologist if need be that bulk bill through the care plan.

You need to sit your DH down and explain he cannot say those things to his DS, I suppose it needs to be put in a way that he gets it as well, treat others how you wanted to be treated kind of way, children inlcuded. Little children are a lot smarter than we give them credit for and I am afraid it's not helping your little man.

Alot of places will offer free hearing tests, again check with your GP.

Early intervention is always best. Good luck.

Firstly, close those pages!!! Every child is different and all develop at different rates, reading about averages etc does more harm than good.

Secondly, what does your gut tell you? I know you realise that something isn't right as you've posted in here... but, do you have any thoughts on what could be an issue? Do you think he hears you ok?

Now... where are you waiting on the Audiology appointment? I agree with heather72, see the GP about the care plan and try and get some things done earlier. Also, as hard as it is, don't expect any sudden improvements, it does take a lot of time DS1 is 5 now and we have only just started to see some HUGE improvements with him and he's been in therapy since birth. He went from being very delayed to all of a sudden catching up (he's still delayed just not as much) within 4 months, it was a very quick process but it took years of therapy to see. I guess I'm just saying don't be disheartened and don't give up.

Thirdly, you know where I am, any time, just drop a line =) Do you still have my number?

Sorry for the late reply - I'll be back a bit later, I've got a friend coming over and I'll post a proper reply

:hug:
I'm sorry I have no ideas for you about the behaviours. There have been a lot of good and probably more educated or experienced suggestion than I could give.

The only 'behaviour' I will comment on though is your DH's Just because your DS isn't talking doesn't mean he doesn't understand. Even if he doesn't understand the actual meaning of the words he is hearing from him, he will understand the sentiment. :( It certainly won't help his progress or his self esteem and it definitely won't benefit his relationship with is dad. I'm guessing his dad doesn't know what his comments could be doing, he's just got a bruised ego and that's how he deals, but it's not good for your poor little man or you to have to worry about it :hug:

I hope you get some answers so can get on top of whatever is going on with your DS soon:crossfingers: (If there is something wrong, but if your mummy instinct is saying there could be then go with it, it's usually right. But I had a friend who didn't say a word until he was 4, then one day he just said "Can I have a Vegemite sandwich please mum." and decided from then on he would speak. :)) :goodluck:

I know with DSD the day care centre had concerns with her hearing and speech, they mentioned it to her mum and told her places to ring, because concerns were raised by the day care centre, they were seen as proper concerns, and she was able to see someone sooner than going the other route of parent raising concerns with gp and going from there. So perhaps you could talk to the day care centre to see what they think, if they have any contacts they could put you on to to get assessments, or even moved up the list due to their concerns.
I too dont think your DH would be helping the situation, big hugs for you and Mr W. goodluck