constant illness WWYD?

Hi there,

My DS started childcare 3 days a week in February. He's now 1. Since that time he has been ill for most of that time. We had runny poo, then it was middle ear infection which wouldn't clear up until we got antibiotics, then bronchioloitis not to mention heaps of random coughs and sniffles in between. Just when I thought it was all over (not sure why I thought it was over) we had a temperature again last night and he was home with a constant cough today. On top of this DS has always had low weight gain and it ended up on the 10th percentile. I think he is off the charts now. With all of his illness his appetite has been almost non existent for the last 5 weeks and he has definitely lost weight. The GP explained that this can be normal with starting childcare and give it 6 months and things will improve. He also said that whilst DS is very thin he wasn't overly concerned at this point because he is still active. He said that DS will eventually have a break in illness and expected that he will go through a phase of eating lots to recover.

My DP and I have been arguing about how to manage the situation. We don't have a lot of family support here and have had to take time off work. I don't have a very supportive work environment and I get nervous about the reaction to having to take time off. DP has just started a new job and any leave taken is without pay. Generally we have tried to split the time off but we argue about if I should take the leave because I have the entitlements (but it's not a great reaction I get) or if DP should take it without pay (but a family friendly place). We both earn about the same.

I also wonder if it's the right thing to even be doing by sending DS to childcare when he get so sick and his weight is impacted on but it's hard to cover the basic expenses of mortgage, bill, grocery and petrol on one wage. Our debts were piling up when I was on maternity leave.

I guess my questions are:
* Has the situation with constant illness happened to you and how did you end up getting a break?
* How has illness impacted on your child's weight gain and did it recover?
* How have you managed to keep things altogether with your workplace and family demands, particularly if you haven't had great family support?

Thanks for reading my long post.

* Has the situation with constant illness happened to you and how did you end up getting a break?
Yep, the first 6 months DS was at CC it was one cold, followed by an ear infection and conjunctivitis, after another. It is true though. Once you get through that first 6 months or so their immune systems are much, much better and they hardly ever get sick.

* How has illness impacted on your child's weight gain and did it recover?
This wasn't really an issue for us. But I would say that if you're GP isn't too concerned then it should be ok. Maybe try adding a bit of extra fat to his diet :dunno:

* How have you managed to keep things altogether with your workplace and family demands, particularly if you haven't had great family support?
This part is really hard. DH and I originally agreed to split it 50/50 but it never worked out that way, 90% of the time it was me who had to take off from work. We also don't have family support, so you just do what you have to do. Are you or your DH able to work from home, that was one way I was able to appease my employer because I was contactable and able to take care of anything urgent. And finally (this sounds awful), you get to a point where you do end up sending them to CC if they have a bit of a runny nose or whatever, but aren't really sick.

HTH, it does get better.

Oh Lisa I'm sorry you and your DS are having such a hard time. My DD was about the same age when she started at nursery 3 days a week. We had so many problems with illnesses. Even one time when she ended up in hospital and had to have surgery ( but that was the result of our GP not picking up on an ear infection for 6 weeks). Throw on top of that the fact that DD suffers from febrile convulsions and you can imagine how much time we were having to take off work.

My family and my DHs family are overseas so wee have very little support here also.

I am lucky that my work were so understanding, which it sounds like you are having problems with. My DH and I shared time off as much as we could, but I took the most off.

Firstly let me say it does get better. DD is almost 3 now so an old hand at nursery. She has built up a pretty good immunity now, although like all kids still gets sick. The first 6 months really is the hardest. I know what really helped with my work was the fact that I had a laptop so even though I was at home, I was still able to do some work. Is this an option for you? Is there any way to be flexible with hours so you can make up some time when your DH is home? I would try and talk to a manager that you trust at work and explain what is going on and that in the short term you would appreciate some flexibility. See if they have any suggestions on how to make it work also.

Start your DS on a multivitamin, probiotic and there is also some stuff called Incremin which helps when they have little appetite. My DD is not a great eater and worse when sick. They do make up for it when they are feeling well.

It really is such a hard adjustment. Feel free to PM me if you want to chat more. I'm not sure if I have been much help, but know it does get better.

Janie xxx

We are much the same as what MissE has said. The about 6 months thing is really quite accurate. DD1 has only been sick once since then. Their bodies are building up their immunity and even though the common flu mutates all the time the severity of it is never as bad as the first few times they get it.
With work, I was casual when I went back to work after DD1 and I only went back to work to help my boss out and would take DD1 with me if she was sick so can't help there. I think that if your DH has a more flexible job then maybe he could take more time off.

hanks guys for your responses and empathy. It was helpful to hear that in your experiences the first 6 months was the hardest.

I think I will see if I can get remote access so can at least keep up some emailing at work.

Janie - what is Incremin? Would I get that from a health food shop?

My kids have gone to family day care instead of a child care centre and we haven't had much illness at all as they are with only 3 other kids so there doesn't seem to be as much illness to catch. I know people seem to either love or hate family day care but if things don't improve and you can find a great carer it is another option for you.

Lisa incremin is available at most chemists. It's an iron mixture that is meant to help if your child isn't eating properly. It has lysine, vit b1, b6 and b12 and iron in it. If you are going to give multivitamin just check with chemist if you can give both at same time.

Janie xxx

Thanks Lana. I will keep family day care in mind.

Janie - thanks for that. I will look into incremin.