5 month old reflux baby - how to cope?

Hello,

My DD is 5 months old and she wants to be held ALL day. If I put her in her high chair, on the floor etc she will cry and scream until she is picked up. She doesn't stop if you leave her, she keeps going.

I have a son who is 4 and there are things that need to be done. She doesn't sleep much, an hour here and there. I am at a loss to know how to cope. I bought an exersaucer and that works for 10 mins sometimes.

Please help me figure this out. I have tried a sling but I can't cook or wash dishes with it on. I'm at my wits end. I usually end up crying with her :(

What sort of sling/s have your tried Jan? I found E didn't want to be in a ring sling but was sometimes (and I emphasise sometimes) happy in an ergo. J would be big enough to go in some sort of upright carrier now with her legs long which might be gentler on her stomach. If you want to try my ergo, I'm happy to send it to you to see how it goes. I'm not going to need it back for quite a bit yet. Have you tried her in any sling/carrier in a hip carry, or is she only happy on your shoulder? E would only semi settle tummy to tummy so I started standing side-on with E in the ergo when I had to do anything like dishes, preparing meals etc. Cooking on the stove with her in the carrier always worried me a bit though. We ended up with lots of one pot casseroles, roasts and slow cooker meals because I could do prep them in the limited time I had without a screaming child. I also did a bit of a cook up on weekends when DH was around to hold the screaming banshee. I also bought LOTS of pre-prepared meals from our local market grocer.

Really hard on Mr J too when his mum is so tied up with his baby sister, which adds to your guilt I know but if Iz is anything to go by, they get over it.

Otherwise, just hugs. Its bloody bloody hard.

I second getting an ergo or even a meitai - something that will keep her upright while being held. It's tough though isn't it? My youngest had reflux and it was so hard on everyone.

Thanks for the replies. It is tough and exhausting. I'm just trying to come up with solutions. I have an ergo and have tried the hip carry today. She didn't like at first but got used to it eventually. I think I'm going to have to go with that. It didn't feel that comfortable, especially the strap near my neck.

Thanks for the offer of the ergo Pam, didn't realise that things were so tough for you too :( I know you don't want to tell me, but I really want to know when did Miss E get better? I'm just trying to be realistic of how long I have to go and how I can get through.

I guess I have to accept that she won't be like a regular kind of baby (whatever that is!) and I have to use a sling full time and listen to her cry when I have to go to the bathroom etc. That's the hardest part.

Cooking on the weekend is an idea. It just flies by so quickly and I'm usually upset. But might try that.

For us, the worst of it was between 4 and 10 months. I know that seems like a really really long time, but it tends to fly by in a flurry of sleep depravation ;) Do you think you'd be confident putting her in a back carry? It is so much better for when you have things you need to do child-free like cooking or cleaning. Are you using anything else to help the reflux like infants friend or brauer's colic? Those were my sanity savers.

TA - have you got one of those walker acivity things that you can sit them in? She should be old enough to be in one of those now - it will keep her uprigth and hopefully keep her amused :hug:

Sorry lovely - haven't been trying to not scare you (or add to your fears maybe) by not telling you when E got better, its just that with her its difficult to pinpoint how much of her problem was the reflux and how much stemmed from the other issues we had with her.

If I had to put an age on it I would say it was probably about 9 months that she really turned the corner with her reflux issues. She was a precocious little miss and was up and furniture crawling by about 8.5 months and walking properly just a smidge over 9 months. Her self propelled mobility seemed to really help getting her little digestive system working better.

Like Trill said, that seems like so far away from where you are now but look at my ticker lovely. Not only have I had two babies with severe reflux, I'm back for a third who in all likelihood will have the same issues. As hellish as it is at the moment, you, Mr J and Miss J will all come out the other side. In the meantime, if you can afford it, get a cleaner so you know that at least one a week/fortnight your house is getting a good clean. Do your grocery shopping online. Get DH to take your little screaming miss for an hour or so on the weekend and take Mr J out for some special time just the two of you. And most importantly - get out by yourself once a week if you can. As stupid as it sounds, I think the 40 minute psych sessions I went to for PND were as therapeutic for the time out aspect for me as they were the clinical side of things. Even if all you do is head to the shops and sit down for a coffee with a book you'll get a bit of a boost to deal with it all again.

ETA: I have these little fantasies that I'm going to be able to dreamily push my new princess in her pram through a shopping centre. Then when I've had enough of window shopping I'm going to sit down at a cafe, give my girl a snuggily, quiet breastfeed and then put her back in her pram for a sleep while I relax and enjoy a yummmy coffee and read my magazine. I've seen actual real life people with babies do this!! ;-)

is your DD on medication? I know a lot of people dont like to medicate, but it was a godsend to us, that and solids. There is no way i would have coped nor would i have been able to continue bfing without medication, she got dehydrated from refusing to feed.
Even so, she was probably 9/10 mths before she eased up. she has been and is still clingy, even at 2.5yrs but is a lot better than when little.
I had her in an upright carrier, i found an activity table helped, then the jolly jumper and a walker. There was many a time when she simply came to the loo with me, i showered when someone was around to hold her, or put whatever activity centre was flavour of the month in the bathroom. fwiw she still comes to the bathroom with me and unpacks the draws while im showering.
It does get better though, and while it seems forever away, the time really does fly by. goodluck

Hello,
Yes she is on medication. It was horrible before the meds. I'm afraid of giving her solids. We've already tried twice and it took her a month to improve. I just don't want to go through that again but will have to try again in a month time.

Shopping online is a good idea. And I need to simplify things.

I don't know how you did it Pam and twice. I just feel confused and don't know what to do like my brain short circuits. You deserve an easy baby! I really hope you get one! Surely after two difficult babies you get to enjoy a laid back one!

Baby on back - it's the only way to get things done. Wish I'd known about that with my DS. And get your DH on board with the baby wearing too :) The ergo hip carry isn't the greatest - feels like it's going to cut your circulation off at the neck. Ring sling, maybe, if you want a hip carry?
As Lulu says, make things easy for yourself - that's a good general rule of thumb I think

Two things that helped me with my two reflux/ colic bubs ... Chiro ... And 'tummy tub' ... I would sit my girls in the tub several times a day on a bad day ... they loved sitting up and floating in the water and the warmth helped get rid of all the wind ... and hen they'd sleep ... finally!!!! Good luck ... it will get better x