DS won't talk to his dad...

DD1 will get on the phone to ex & tell him everything. DD2 will usually have no worries, but the other day was busy with a friend, so wasn't interested.
DS will not talk to him. Refuses. Won't say why, just won't do it. Not sure if its just because its on the phone or not?

The last call was yesterday... he didn't talk to him, but then cried (for the first time) that ex wasn't here before bed last night :( He hasn't said anything else about it & he is only 4, but I really don't know what to think.

He's used to ex not being around. Its not a new thing for any of them. But he used to attempt to talk on the phone. He won't even say hello.

Of course I'm being blamed for turning them against him :rolleyes: I don't care what he thinks, but I am worried about DS.

I'm not sure what to do here... leave it til he can express himself better to talk about it, or talk about it now?

:dunno:

Have you tried skype? Maybe if he could see his Dad, he would at least have some interaction.

It may be that because he doesn't understand and can't express himself, that he is trying to protect himself. If he doesnt talk to his Dad, then it wont hurt, ITMS?

I wonder if you could get him to draw or make something for his Dad - that may help him express himself. He probably doesnt know why himself. I know a lot of males dont know why they do the things they do or dont do, even as adults. It's harder for them to understand their own emotions.

I was going to suggest sykpe too. Could be much better than the phone for his age.

I was going to suggest skype as well.

My 4 yr old is so much better talking to people on skype then the phone..

If skype is an option that he is happy with I would definitely do that too - craft is also I great idea.

My DD went through a stage of refusing to visit with her dad or speak to him on the phone. I spoke to him about it and we decided to just go with whatever she wanted until she felt comfortable to see/speak to him again. I would ask her if it was ok for her to listen to him sometimes and he would chat with her on speaker phone so he could tell her that he missed and loved her - it took maybe a month before she was ready again and she's never missed another visit again.

She was only 2 when we separated and this happened when she was 4/5 so it wasn't directly because of the separation. I think it had a lot to do with her feeling like she had some control over what was happening.

This could be completely different to what your DS is going through but I thought I would share in case it helped.

it's so sad when they get upset at bedtime for their dad - I asked my ex to take DD out and buy her a special toy for bed to help her with that. She gave him cuddles by cuddling the toy from him and it made her much happier when she was feeling sad about it all.

Good luck!


**Sent from my phone using Tapatalk.

I could try something like that. he's at his parent's place, so maybe we could set it up. He won't have a computer when he moves out.

I'll get him to draw/make something. Just to keep some sort of communication open. He does that for a friend back home. He talks to the friend on the phone for ages :lol: