Need some advice - frustrated.

So some background....
The wife of someone DH works with has been looking after our girls 4 days a week since I went back to work nearly 2 years ago. The agreement has always been that she would work Mon - Thursday 7am - approx 5.30pm (usually the girls are picked up at 4pm so earlier than agreed but she still gets paid the normal amount. with the occasional friday in there also. If she works 4 days I pay 4 days if she works 5 she gets paid for 5. The agreement was that at anytime if need be days could be swapped around ie. if she is sick on a Wednesday but well on the Friday she would have the girls on the Friday. So she is still working 4 days and being paid for 4 days. There were quite a few days that she asked if she coul.d swap at the end of last year because of various school events etc - no problems.

So, i am having a couple of issues now....

First - being that this weekend is Easter and I have a course on Friday I asked if she was happy to swap MOnday and Friday for that week ie - she works Tue - friday instead of mon - thurs. For her that wasn't an issue until today when she now wants to be paid for the full 5 days - even though she is only working 4 days.... I'm frustrated because i have happily swapped my work days around for her when needed (despite how cranky my boss gets when i ask) but I ask her to do the asme and she now wants to be paid for 5 days!!!!!! I have always paid her if she has been sick and i've still had to take the day off work, I gave her $150 bonus at Christmas time - damn, i even paid her a full weeks pay when my kids were at thier grandparents for the week!!!!

Second, despite our agreement being that she has the girls until 5.30pm she told me 2 weeks ago that on a Wednesday the girls need to be picked up at 4.30pm AT THE LATEST. I don't finish work until 5pm and I work 45mins away!!!!! DH isn't alway able to get them at 4pm. So again - i go back to my boss who agreed to let me change my hours so that i can pick them up at 4.30pm - at her request.


I've looked over allot of things that frustrate me about her... eg... she complains shes got no money except she is taking my kids to the movies every other week and buying them shoes and clothes (apparently i'm incapable of providing this.....grrr). I have never aksed her to do this, in fact i gave her siggestions on free stuff to do with them eg. the park, rhyme time at the local library. I provide ALL the food for the week (1 loaf of bread, about 4L of milk, biscuits, ham, yoghurt, a box of cereal each week, fruit, museli bars, i send treats occasionally for them, leftovers for lunches EVERYTHING. Yet still says they eat her food also.

I feel like saying thats fine if you want to be paid for the 5 days, but next time you have a sick day and I have to take the day off work you won't get paid.
Am i being unreasonable? I can't afford to pay her 5 days next week (shes only working 4 days) but she is pushing for the payment.

I would find a new babysitter!!

Sounds to me like she's getting greedy and you might need to put things into writing. I hope you can sort it all out. Maybe if you're not 100% happy with her, look into council run Family Day care?

She sounds like the unreasonable one! You have been more than reasonable to her! A christmas bonus plus a weeks pay for not having to do anything. I'd be very happy with that! She sounds like shes taking you for a ride. Why would she expect to be paid for a day she doesn't have the kids. It doesn't make sense. You work around her all the time.

I'd have a serious chat with her about it. She doesn't need to be spending any money on your kids and the food you provide is well and truly more than enough for 2 kids.

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Sounds to me like she's getting greedy and you might need to put things into writing. I hope you can sort it all out. Maybe if you're not 100% happy with her, look into council run Family Day care?

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We have been looking at FDC. DD1 started with a FDC but when DD2 came along it was so much harder to get a placement for 2 of them. Hence why this arrangement was working for us.

Still put a request into FDC for both the girls. When a position comes up for them both then take it.

She is being very unfair. In the mean time I would be putting in writing what you expect from her, employed hours, what you supply for food each week and other costs. This will also include 24 hours in writing if she wants to swap and no payment for sick days or holidays. Then get her to sign it.

She needs to remember she is not the boss but employed by you. You have been very good to her and she should be thankful.

Also, let your boss know you are looking for a new carer so he knows what is happening. You never know what the outcome might be.

Wow! I think you are being more than reasonable!!! I agree with the PP about putting things is writing about her hours etc and no sick or holiday pay.

Start looking for a FDC I think!!!

xx

DH is going to take the day off work to have the girls. He is just as annoyed at me.... i realise that we have a good deal with her in how much we pay her but i'm a person of principle...i expect in return what i give.

Far out, she's getting a sweet deal!! What I'm seeing is: she gets paid for a full day til 5:30 even though they're usually picked up by 4 and now they *must* be picked up by 4:30 on Wednesday. She gets paid a full week even if she's sick. She's able to change days/times at no notice and still get paid. All their food is provided. Daycare centres would not get this at all.

What I reckon though, is someone's said to her "Hey, Monday's a public holiday anyway, you wouldn't have the kids anyway, Friday is additional to what you would have done so you should be paid for it." But really, she'd only be getting paid three days next week without the Friday. Seems like she wants what full time workers get - pay on a public holiday if you would have been working.

So really, if that's what she wants, write it up and treat it that way - no more full day's pay for less work, no changing on a whim. Good luck!

I do pay her for public holidays anyway do she would have got 4 days

So it seems like her thinking is that you haven't swapped the Monday and Friday, but added on the Friday. I still think you're giving her a great deal and she's taking advantage.

Swapped the days but the same pay she's still being paid 4 days regardless if it's mon - Thursday or tues - fri.... If that makes sense she isn't having the kids Monday I am

Yeah, I get it, but I reckon her thinking on it is a bit skewed lol.

I think I would be reducing the Wed fee by an hour. I would think about the things I would do with the girls through the week (say 1 activity a week like movies or pool or lunch) and pay for just what it would cost the girls and anything else is at her expense (it is her choice to buy them clothes/shoes, from the sounds of it she likes entertaining herself as much as your girls. I'm a SAHM and only do those things once every few mnths not every week - park/library much more economical) As for sick days on average it is 10 days a year FT so on approx 4 days a week I would be saying anything over 7/8 days go unpaid.
As for next week, it sounds like she was expecting to work for 3 days but still get paid for 4? If that is the case maybe you could negotiate paying her the extra hour for the wed before cutting it out (hope that makes sense)
But overall I agree you need to get some of these things in writing and make it a bit clearer for all of you.
Goodluck


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