Cheers mum... VENT

I breast fed DS til he was 23 months old. I was UTD with DD3 when I weaned him. I had reason to stick it out & no extra stress on top of that to really deal with. Ex was around if I really needed help etc...

DD is now 18 months. I have no H, no family back up here & have been here 3 months. Noone to hand DD to to try weaning. I HAVE considered it, because I'm so busy, but have decided to wait til I'm not working 7 days a week & my mum is here to help. I can have no sleep at night then work 5 - 6 hours a day with 2 kids under my feet, then deal with 4 kids after school! I do have family, but not someone who can really help with the weaning process & I'm not desperate to wean. I have no bloody life anyway!

So it was awesome. Mum is now here. She is helping me out, which is awesome. She asks if I'm still feeding DD. 'Yes'

'You should be ashamed' she says, but trying to make it sound light hearted, like a joke.

DS has attachment issues & it was put down to BFing my everyone, but DD is a completely different child! She's much more independant than DS ever was!
I'm so annoyed!! Will have to get SIL to BF my 10 month old neice in front of her ;) Light shines out her backside coz she started mix feeding from an early age. I don't think mum realises she's still going with BF.

SIL also has a life to have a reason to do both. I don't. I don't leave the house without DD to have reason to give her a bottle, so why should I?

And why do I have to be made to feel like **** coz DS had some issues???

:hug: Not understanding at all why you should be ashamed for doing something so good for your DD. Warped thinking IMO. Breastfeeding doesn't cause attachment issues. Actually, quite the opposite, it promotes secure attachment, so forget that one. :hug:

I agree your DS issues have nothing to do with bf. :clap: good on you for feeding for so long and pooy to your mum. She will get over it. Hope you get a break even if it's just through the day.


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I'm sorry your Mum has made you feel like that. :(



Sent from my iPhone... Please excuse the mistakes :)

Congratulations on breastfeeding your bubs for so long.
My mother often makes comments about my parenting decisions that in truth, I find really painful, although I am sure if I pointed them out to be criticisms, she would in turn be upset. :wall:
I was reading today an article called "responding to unwanted parenting advice", which said in part:
"Over time, I've learned to pause and look inward rather than outward when I feel misunderstood. If, rather than focusing on the injustice of their disapproval, I reexamine my own motives and deliberations, my resentment subsides. If I search my heart and conclude that I've made a reasonable judgment based on pure motives, I find my peace in that knowledge. Then I do my best to assume the truth will show itself over time......"
I find that really helpful in disregarding criticisms about our choice to "gentle parent", and I hope it helps you.
Sounds to me that you are doing a great, and at times difficult, job especially on your own. Good luck with your breastfeeding journey, whatever you decide to do.

Well done to you for bfing your toddler. Throw out the old WHO line on two years being the recommendation.

And then tell her about your friend who bf her DD1 until she was four years old. ;) For the record, my DD1 is very independent, always was, and I really miss the days when she was a little more attached. Now she says she wants to go live with her friend Lucy and no, she wouldn't miss me at all. :( Clearly bfing has nothing to do with personality.

I'm sorry your Mum has made you feel bad. :hug: It's always nice to feel your Mum applauds what you do, even if she wouldn't do it herself. Sucks when a small remark from your Mum can get under your skin.

Yay for breastfeeding this long :) it sucks when mums say things like that, it's not helpful to anyone and can bug you for sooo long (can you tell I speak from experience lol). Just tell her you're the mum and you know what's best for your baby.


Excuse my sucky spelling, I'm on my iPhone

My DS who fed until 3 and a half keeps telling me now that he's going to "take me back to the Mummy shop and get a new one" - so no attachment issues there either!
Seriously, there's no point trying to change your Mum's mind - you didn't with Jesse, and you won't now. Just tell her that "although you "should be ashamed" you're not", and ask her to help with the things that she can do to make your time easier at the moment.