What on Earth is the problem????

Lately (and I mean over the last month or so) DS's universe has been collapsing, over seemingly (even to me), nothing.

Most often when I tell him its time to change his nappy (because let's face it, I don't want a big green toxic cloud in my hoise!). I tell him nicely, even give him prior warning; ie; "x, I'm going to change your nappy shortly, because it smells like you've done poos". The response is a most adamant "No!", and usually "I'm still doing poos" (even though he's well and truly finished!). I can't remember when else he "cracks it", but I'm pretty sure its generally when he's told to do something, or its time to do something (even down to getting out of the car once we have got home).

He kicks and throws himself around, screams and shrieks, and is just so awful. Often I find it nearly impossible to pick him up (to get him out of the car and inside, or to change him) as I am worried about catching a kick in the belly. I don't understand what is causing this behaviour change. If anyone is able to shed some light or suggestions, it would be most appreciated.

Ps, my mum is saying more and more that DS is just like my brother as a child. Okay, he has aspergers. Is this what she means? DS is a Very clever little boy, very aware of things and people around him. I was very upset the other night (the first night staying here at Mum's), and he just wasn't going to sleep. I told him that I was very upset, and he was making me sad by not doing as he was told and going to sleep (it was all because of mum though). His response was that we just needed to hope that everyone would be okay, that we saw in two accidents that day. I guess because that was the only bad thing he saw that day.

Eta, after these 'episodes' he gets quite cuddly. If that helps at all.

Eta again, it is my brother with aspergers, not DS.

My dd was a real horror for 2 or so months. We just ignored her mostly and eventually she got over it. Its difficult and stressful but it may just be a phase hun xx

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DD1 is about the same age and she also went through that a few months back. Is he anxious about a new sibling? We just kept up our usual parenting, tried to be ultra consistent with lots of routine, and she got through it. Hang in there xoxo.

DD1 is about the same age and has just gone through this. She is just getting back to normal now.

We just took it as a sign she needed more love and attention and that worked :) I don't think we were giving her any less than usual, she was just going through some sort of stage where she needed a lot more than usual.

Yep, similar here for the same age. My little guy has had a few months of upheaval (dad home when he usually lives away, grandparents here, sister and best mate starting school, new sister).
Agree with Heaven though, he just needed more for a bit.

Just to clarify - is it your brother who has Aspergers or your son? If it is your brother, have you had your son tested to see if he too has Aspergers? I'm not saying it is that, as everyone else has stated their children have shown similar behaviours, but it could certainly be another explanation for the behaviours that he is displaying. If it is your son with Aspergers, I will return with some suggestions.

The behaviour alone you described is not an indication for Aspergers. In fact I gather from your post your son is still young. No Dr would diagnose Aspergers that early.

His behaviour sounds normal to me! My son is 19 months and does little melt downs too with nappy changes. I've found it works to allow him to take a favourite toy or book to the change table.

I will work on trying to give him "more" (I never thought that was possible, but I'll try anyway).

Sometimes, not even a toy for the changetable will help. :(

Chody; my brother has aspergers, and my step son also (and we suspect the Man too). Possible for DS? To be honest, I would not be surprised if he were. I would be more surprised if he doesn't have it.

Just to clarify in case it was taken the wrong way before, I am not suggesting that from the behaviour your described your son does have Aspergers, obviously there can be lots of reasons for that behaviour.

Anyway, I am a special education teacher and some of the kids in my class have an Autism Spectrum Disorder. IF your son did have Aspergers (or even if he doesn't), then perhaps more warning for some tasks might help (although it's pretty hard when you have to change a nappy). Perhaps if you were planning to go to the shops in half an hour you could say something like 'you can do x and then we are going to go to the shops'. It's hard at his age as he wouldn't have much concept of time I would guess.....would he understand the concept of a timer? If so you could have an egg timer or something and say that when this runs out we are going to do x.......

As for the nappy changing, would it help your son if you had a chat with him about WHY we need to change nappies after doing a poo (at a time that he wasn't dirty)?