miscarriage and medical advances

I am perplexed.

In this day and age surely, if Dr's and scientists can create, fix, diagnose all sorts of things, why can't they work out why miscarriages occur??

A friend was recently told that despite 6 years of TTC, naturally and assisted, and paying Dr's, Fert specialists etc, that they still have no idea why she can't have a sticky bubs.

My mind boggles as to why we still get told 'it just wasn't meant to be' and that we have to risk ourselves, both physically and emotionally, to keep trying for a least three times, before testing can be done.

Sadly for my friend she suffered greatly, and nearly list her life with her last miscarriage, and now decided her dream of having a child of her own is shattered.

Is it just me that thinks this?

Sorry, but I think of it the other way around. That it is amazing that in the last 30 years or so, women who could not have had children now have a chance. But on the other hand I really do hope that they soon find out more about the causes of recurrent miscarriages. It really is awful when you see you friends struggling with that.

Eta: just saw where this was posted...don't feel equipped to respond.

:hug: to your friend and for you

I personally believe it's because Western medicine is too closed minded to really learn. I've had 5 miscarriages, all at 6 weeks. I am the first woman in my family to have a miscarriage, going back generations. On both my side and my husbands, everyone is extremely fertile. Unfortunately, everyone is also overweight or obese, but it certainly hasn't affected their fertility. And yet, whenever I try to find out why my babies keep dying, I get told it's because I'm fat.

There seem to be very few 'professionals' willing to look outside the box to get answers. A shame really, because that's the only way boundaries get pushed. Without it we're all stuck in the same spot for the next 10, 20, 50 years.

I get where your coming from being that Im a recurrent miscarriage sufferer. I also think that its just plain sucky (I would use harsher words if I could!) and some of the most amazing specialists are doing everything they can to work it out. Science isnt perfect or exact unfortunately :( I have a possible cause for my miscarriages yet even with treatment Im still miscarrying. Ive had 3 successful pregnancies that were not without complication though; I still wonder what it is that went RIGHT in those and wrong in others when I didnt know then that I had a clotting disorder and was not being treated accordingly. Short of offering myself up for research I have no idea what else they can do!

I think along the lines of Keike and also that there are so many causes these days, that they have so much to consider. Myself, as a sufferer from recurrent m/c is angry at Western Medicine for having the unwritten rule of not investigating recurrent m/c unless you have 3 or more m/c & in some instances Drs etc... won't even bother investigating telling you it is a course of nature.

Some of the reasons I have been given is that: I have PCO & this can increase m/c (no idea why though) and there is a chromosome issue....

I do agree with anney somewhat as a successful (well so far) IVF patient that it is amazing some of the medical advances to allow some women, whom may never have even fallen pg have a chance. I don't know if we would have ever fallen pg naturally or if we did avoided m/c. IVF has allowed my body to be given the best chance of falling pg by selecting the best sperm & egg to produce a healthy (hopefully) baby.

Advice to your friend would be to seek a different opinion from another specialist/GP etc.... I know many of my gf's whom did that & are blessed to have children now. I wish your friend all the very best.

Hi ladies,
Thanks so much for your thoughts, inputs and sharing your experiences.

Keike- I agree that western medicine may not be as advanced as it could be. It is certainly crazy with your history why Dr's always have to say its a weight thing, for some it might be, I also had a friend who was the opposite, while on ivf they told her she was too thin, and then tried to council her for an eating disorder! Oh then they told her she was going through early menopause! All along she was perfectly healthy, and lucky she ignored them, as she became pregnant within 2 clomid assisted cycles. She thinks her thing was age, she was 42 when she gave birth.

Freya- I do agree that science is not perfect or exact, and yes there probably is some amazing Dr's that are researching why miscarriage occurs. But sadly a lot of that information they discover doesn't get to the average GP, so when you experience loss, and you ask questions, it's a let down.

RhiChiChi- My friend has seen numerous ivf specialists, fertility specialists, and tried almost everything bar doing nothing. They are ok with their decision to now leave it to be what will. She had a horrific miscarriage out which left her in hospital for a few days.

Personally, I have not experienced anything to that degree, however have had a blighted ovum, with minimal stress to my body. Naturally I am scared of it happening again or worse.
I am just about 'over' the reasons Dr's give those that have suffered a loss. For me, I feel that if humans are smart enough to create synthetic hormones, embryos, clone and many other amazing things (and in some cases save lives) in a controlled environment, then why do we still get treated like (we without degrees) know nothing about our bodies. And that a reason like 'it's God's way' delivered by a 'scientist' who really doesn't believe in God?

I guess I'm just kinda angry at not really getting any answers from the experts. And that those that want answers to questions, can't get them.
I have my own suspicions as to what caused mine, but again I got treated like I was over anxious, a stress head and close to being admitted to a psych ward, just because I asked why!

Above all, I guess I just feel some women are not respected when it comes to discussing their bodies, and it's reactions, with some 'experts'. It's like because we haven't studied medicine, then we don't know anything about our own bodies!

Sorry to vent, but better out than in!

MLR - I want to know why Ive lost my last 4 pregnancies, but carried my first two to term without issue? Why was my last baby alive at 11w, but gone at 12? Why was I told, you'll be fine, your chance of m/c falls to almost nothing now that you've seen the h/b in the last 3 losses?

Im angry, Im bitter, none of the 'fixes' to my apparent problem (a blood clotting disorder) stopped me from m/cing. Why dont they know the answers? I dont know, but I really wish they did. Im pg again and have been told to 'cross my fingers and hope for the best'. Not very scientific is it? Certainly not enough to give me any confidence.

Diamond Girl - I read your post on one if these threads about this bubs. I hope you can be proven wrong this time, and this little 'potsticker dumpling' stays put!!!
I so get the not wanting to get excited or 'jinx' it in anyway. I feel ripped off now too, especially when Dr's tell me 'oh well you try again and if it happens again, then we'll look at bit further into it' Like what, really? We have to our our selves through the roller coaster, physically and emotionally (some financially) to have a 'maybe' or worse, like my friend had to have blood transfusion after a horrific m/c!
I'm sorry to babble, I just get so darn peeved!

Again, I wish you a healthy pregnancy, and remember there's always someone here that gets it!

MLR, my understanding is that most miscarriages are caused by chromosomal issues with the embryos. There is literally nothing that can be done in this instance.

Good luck. I hope you are holding your little one soon.

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I feel ripped off now too, especially when Dr's tell me 'oh well you try again and if it happens again, then we'll look at bit further into it' Like what, really? We have to our our selves through the roller coaster, physically and emotionally (some financially) to have a 'maybe' or worse, like my friend had to have blood transfusion after a horrific m/c!

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I know, after I had my third a doctor said it was the 'magic number', and now they'd start looking into it. Really? I had to lose 3 of my children before you'd look into it? Awesome.

just popping my 2 cents in - im another one who does not appreciate hearing, 'you're just unlucky', etc. - without any further testing being ordered. ive had 2 miscarriages and have also been told that 3 is the magic number. you can then be defined 'recurrent miscarriage' and further testing can be ordered. i agree with keike & mlr1901 - why wait for 3?

i get that not all embryos/pregnancies are perfect, and unfortunately miscarriages are more common than most people would think, but that doesnt mean we cant try and rule out some of the potential causes by ordering some simple blood tests (ie blood clotting etc). ive been told by a previous FS that 70-80% of all miscarriages are due to chromosome issues and therefore testing of the products of conception (im sorry, i hate that term but cant think of a more sensitive way to put it), was unecessary. what about the other 20-30%that arent due to chromosome issues? i would definately like to know earlier rather than later which category i fall into... might come in handy for further treatment?! i requested my own further tests after my 2nd miscarriage & switched clinics, not being satisfied with 'you're just unlucky' & 'its a numbers game, you will get there' (i know i am unlucky - ive been ttc conceive for 5 years!).

what i would like is a more proactive approach, ordering those simple tests to rule potential causes out before hitting the magic 3 mark. i know that some (like myself) will have every test under the sun and still there wont be a reason found. thats fine. at least i know i (and hopefully my specialist) have tried to prevent it from happening again.

:grouphug: bc miscarriage is cruel.