Toddlers: How Do You Deal With The Frustration?

DD2 is about 21 months old and is entering that phase where everything that should be straightforward is HARD. Doesn't help that DP is away for a month.

Nappy changes and getting dressed end in tears each time because she wants to put her own nappy on and get dressed herself. Yes, I know she wants to be independent and to a certain extent, I let her have a go herself but I find it frustrating when we need to get out the door and what we started half an hour earlier still isn't done.

Taking her for a walk in the pram is difficult because she wants to get out. Yes, I let her walk sometimes but again, if it's going to take too long, my patience wanes.

Mealtimes are sometimes OK but sometimes she has a few bites of hers, then wants to get on my knee and eat my dinner.

Packing the dishwasher, packing lunches are all harder because she wants to do it or spots something that goes into the lunchbag and wants it now, now, now.

So my question is, how d'you deal with the frustration? Obviously, I know that things will not always be like this.

My frustration or theirs??????

I hear you!!!! My DD is nearly 21 months old and right now she screams a very high pitched scream if she doesnt get her independant way!!! It is driving me batty!!!!! I feel for her, especially when she cant put to words exactly what it is she wants or wants to do!!!! I try to have patience, and if i take a few breaths i can sit there and go through different things that she might want or i let her have a turn at putting her shirt on, but if we are getting ready and i am late, then i just do it, and she will whinge but she "usually" gets over it after a few seconds.

For myself, i have to keep reminding myself that she is so little, and the world is so big. Sometimes i NEED to stop and smell the roses as they say and take a second to see the world through her eyes and enjoy the fact that she is learning and she wants to experience things!!! And then there are the times when she is just in full tantrum full swing mode and nothing i do or say makes it better. In those times i back away slowly and make sure she isnt in danger and to be honest, i leave her to it. (much to DH's disgust sometimes) DS didnt have tantrums like that, she is my first to really chuck a wobbly and i really dont know of any other way :(

:hug:

The really scary thing is that I could have written your post about my 10 year old DD (with a few obvious changes :lol: )
I am not sure the frustration ever goes away. The details of what we're frustrated about just change.
I think all we can do is keep breathing and do the best we can to remain calm and patient. Easier said than done...

:wall: :wall: That's about it. Sometimes I cry. I absolutely loathe mornings. I was almost 1.5hours late to work this morning. All because DS wanted to do something but didn't tell me until I realised he was upset & asked him by which time it was too late. Sorry I'm no help, but I hear your pain. And yeah, DS is now 3 & if anything, it's worse. I'm not looking forward to DD reaching that stage.

I know the feeling as well my DD is 2 1/2 and wants to do everything herself although she only ever says "I'll do it" and when we ask what "it" is she won't tell us and then will have a tantrum if we do the "it' she wanted to do.

I feel that by the end of the day my negotiation skills have waned and I just need to get things done, and with having the twins trying to be a bit more independent it makes it hard trying to dress/change nappies for 3 squiriming, wriggling kids. Luckily the boys haven't hit the full on demanding stage yet, I know what each scream, yell or cry from them means I'm hungry, I'm tired, I'm sick of my brother and sister :)

Oh Fiona I could have written that post too! DD is also nearly 21 mths and is Miss Independent too.
I am slowly going crazy. The lovely days we used to spend together (I work 3 days a week) are becoming tense and (how I hate to say this) sometimes I look forward to going to work. Gah that makes me feel horrible.

She won't let me change her nappy, kicks me while lying on the change table, won't let me pick her up (does that thing where she outs her arms straight up so you can't pick her up - where do they learn this?!?).

Anyway - I have no advice but hun you are not alone!

Thanks guys - glad I'm not the only one.

Some things that have been working lately. I make sure to dress DD1 first in front of DD2 and give DD1 heaps of praise for standing up and putting one leg into her pants and then another. DD2 has been noticing this and she wants the praise too. Doesn't work every time, but there has been improvement. I still let her have a bit of a go herself but if we're pushed for time and she's still struggling with nappy (pull-up) and pants then I say "mummy do it after 3" and give her a count-down.

I know what you mean MrsP and having what used to be lovely days turn into a wrangling match!!!