Bedtime dramas almost 7yo

Well DD1 is causing us dramas at bedtime. She was terrible with sleeping as a baby and toddler, greatly improved once she weaned, but did take her time going to sleep. Often I would have to read her many books for her to go to sleep and she needs music on.

These days she and DD2 go to bed at the same time. A few books from DH and I, put on the music and let them both have some reading time before lights out. DD2 often wants to go to sleep straight away, so there is the battle for the music that helps her sleep, but once she is asleep, DD1 can have whatever music she wants and can read for a short while.

Well this is when the drama starts. She is up and down so many times. She has a cough, her heads hurts, her legs hurts, she is itchy. She can't sleep. She sprained her ankle (how she does that in bed??) She wants different music (she can change it herself, so no need to come and ask). She went to the toilet and had to come out and tell us that she did not flush so as not to wake DD2 (we always tell her thankyou, but there is no need to come and tell us each time). Any way it goes on.

It is taking her ages to go to sleep. I understand to an extent, as I do struggle, but it is like she is keeping herself up. Once she is asleep is asleep all night, but now she is struggling to get up of a morning. She is tired, she does not eat a proper breakfast, it then flows on throughout the day.

If we get angry, she gets upset, then the coughing starts and then she is almost sick, complains of headaches etc. We did have major issues with her and tummy aches, which seemed to have been related to anxiety, these are thankfully gone now .

Any ideas what to do? Has her anxiety moved from her tummy to her sleep? We are over it and with it still so early in the year, she can't go on without a decent length of sleep at night (she is often still awake at 9:30)

i was always shocking at getting to sleep, would read till all hours and it would regularly take me more than two hours to get to sleep so I'm trying to think what would have helped me as a child. I actually only became 'normal' at getting to sleep when I met my XH and realised that it's actually possible to fall asleep within 10 minutes of going to bed. My problem, and I think your DD's problem, is that she can't switch her brain off. I see the same trait in my DD2.

What helps me on the rare occasions now when I'm having difficulty dropping off is some half-arsed meditation. I know enough to know what I need to go to sleep. Usually, I tell myself something like, "whatever I'm worried about, I can worry about it tomorrow." or "I accept that my life is not perfect at the moment." I'm not saying that you should teach DD those things but maybe something like, "it's time to stop thinking now, relax, think nice thoughts and go to sleep."

I've had a quick google and apparently there's podcasts that you can download for children. Like anything, there's probably good ones and shockers so if you're interested, it might be a bit of trial and error. I know that I always found the sounds of the rainforest, visualisation-type ones intensely annoying and irritating!

I was similar as a child, and my mum used to play me a relaxation tape, and massage me before bed. It definitely helped. Also, I remember if I went to bed quite late, instead of letting me sleep to my normal or later time, num would wake me up an hour early and we'd start our day. By the end of the day, I was always super tired, and I'd respond better to the tape and massage.

My dd2 is similar. My girls always had an 8.30 bed time til dd2 started school. I had to bring it back to 8pm.
They get up at 7.30.

Dd1 was doing the same at the same age too now I think of it. Used to drive me insane!

So my answer was to bring bedtime / lights out back a bit. Which seemed to work. Just gave them that extra half hour sleep iykwim. But they seem to settle alot quicker & easier at that time.

Maybe she needs help to switch her brain off and like a pp mentioned maybe teach her some relaxation methods. Goodluck


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I very often take a while to fall asleep. I was up to all hours as a child as I couldn't & can't on occasions switch off. I replay the entire day or if something's playing on my mind I replay it over & over with different arguments etc. my dad when I was a child told me to visualise (sp) flowers in a meadow or concentrate on my breathing so my mind could stop & go blank. It often works for me now.
Sleep is hard my eldest is the same as me & likes to be close when going to sleep. He goes to sleep between 7:30 & 8:30 but he is laid on the sofa & then we transfer him. He sleeps through till between 6 & 7am. Both of my boys are early risers. This is what my parents did with me as mum would read that many books she would be asleep & I'd get up & go sit with my dad.
For the getting up repeatedly you could try giving her tickets. So 3 tickets means she can get up 3 times using them in which ever manner she wishes - drink of water, tell you something etc but once the 3 tickets are used she has to stay in bed.

Thanks Ladies. The problem I take an hour or so to get to sleep myself, just without the getting up all the time, so I am not in the position to actually teach her how to sleep. DH on the other hand can fall asleep in an instant.

She does have music, but insists on Hi-5 or Lady Gaga. How she sleeps to it I don't know, as DD2 still prefers Peace Baby. Instrumental music gives her the "scares". Might have to spend some time looking for some podcasts for her.

Need to think about this some more when I am not so tired myself :yawn: