how can i be so conflicted re: another baby?

well i have always said there is a 2percent chance of us having a third baby, although leaning towards not having the third. every so often i have tilted towards yeah lets do it and helll no! however, of late i have been thinking about it more and more. there are so many reasons why i dont want to yet there are so many reasons why i do want to. DH is against it but i know i could convince him if i had to! LOL. why is it such a hard decision? cause its hard does that mean i shouldnt?

anyone else go though a similar thought process?

no advice, i'm currently having the same thoughts/issue.
Big hugs hope you can find a way to help you decide... i'm thinking toss a coin and be prepared to argue my point? LOL

Im exactly the same but must admit im sooo scared of the middle child so maybe not but then again..... lol im no help

I went through those sort of thoughts for quite a few months - would think yeah, let's do it and then the next minute/hour/day or whatever something would happen to make me think I was completely nuts.

FWIW, I just let it sit while I was still going backwards and forwards in my own mind. It wasn't until I had the "yeah, let's do it" feeling almost all the time that I brought the subject up with my DH (he had to be talked into it too). Don't get me wrong, there are still moments when I'm thinking oh my, what have we done (bit late now!), but all in all, I'm glad I waited until I was more sure and am pretty happy that we've made the right decision.

What ever you do, I recommending not doing anything to rash/permanent. My wife and I currently have 5 kids. My wife keeps getting stopped by older lady's who tell her how much they wish they would have had another. They say it felt right at the time, but regret making that permanent decision so early in life.

For me, it was a case of just "knowing" I wanted a third child. DH initially said he only wanted two, but without any input from me - other than me saying to him occasionally that I'd like a third - he came to me in agreement. This is definitely our last baby though - mentally I'm good with that, and physically I can honestly say I'll be happy not to go through TTC and pregnancy again.

I agree with dustmite. It has to be the right thing for you and DH, and not based on a whim. Just food for thought ... I'm not sure how old your other children are, but I can vouch that this pregnancy has been tougher mentally and physically just trying to deal with - and keep up with - a two and a four year old. I'm not saying that's the case with other women going in to a third pregnancy, but it certainly has been for me.

Would it be worth your while talking to a psychologist/councellor/GP just to try and have a clear idea of whether you do/don't want a third child?

I'm in this situation at the moment to. But mines come up because I have an appt to see if I'm eligible for a breast reduction on Medicare...
They say they prefer you to be finished with pregnancy, babies and breast feeding in order to have the best out come for the future... Arghhhhh!!!

thanks everyone. i am still tossing it up, currently in the 'not wanting another one' phase again! will definately not do anything rash! thanks for your input!

For me it was knowing I wanted the pregnancy, baby, toddler, teenager, adult. Even if one but of it seemed harder some days than others I knew I wanted a large family :)

Same boat, only it's for number two, and DF is the one that wants to go for it! I kind of do, but at the same time I don't, although I don't want DD to be an only child..argh..the time is never right!

It's a huge, huge thing to reconcile in your mind. After we had our third baby it was terrible for me for a long time. I went from being totally heartbroken at the thought of not having another baby to totally convinced that 3 was a great number of kids to have! I experienced every emotion about it from one end of the spectrum to the other. It certainly made a difference if people I knew were having babies or had just had a baby too so it was probably a bit of jealousy mixed in there too. Then to make it harder DH would want one when I didn't and I would want one when he didn't. I think deep down I always considered it to be a possibility though because I wasn't taking the pill or anything and was charting my cycle, so if we ever did decide to go for it we could do it straight away before either of us changed our minds :lol: which is what we eventually did and we got Master 4.

i always had 4 as the number i wanted. a nice even number. lol once i had 2 i felt content and went back and forward as to have another. my lovely dh didn't have an opinion one way or the other. he's nicely given me free reign to decide how many kids i wanted. lol of course having 2 boys makes me want to try for a girl but i was still going back and forth. i decided to just do it. i knew i'd never regret having another but i might regret NOT, kwim? So now i'm pregnant with number 4 after 3 years of not wanting anymore. lol i don't know what i'd do without Master 3 though. he's the joy of all our lives.

DH and I agreed on two but after my pregnancy and having a premmie with DS, I dont think either of us want to go through all of that again. Sometimes i think it would be fantastic to have another baby but then i wonder if its for selfish reasons of wanting to try and carry full term, have a "normal" pregnancy, try breastfeeding longer, and pretty much have a take home baby instead of leaving the hospital without one! itms. plus i would love to have a baby shower this time coz i missed out on one for DS! but then i think they may be all the wrong reasons to have one. such a hard decision. we have pretty much decided on DS being an only child at this stage. We are both happy with that choice at the moment. good luck with whatever you decide xx