Is this meant to be a compliment??

People have been telling me throughout my whole pregnancy that they 'can't even tell I'm pregnant'.

I didn't mind so much at the start but the further along I'm getting the more it is bugging me. Last night SIL asked me if my stomach is even growing? I said yes - that I am getting all new stretch marks and all and she said 'maybe I just can't tell because your sitting down'. I just kind of laughed it off saying that I can definitely tell but it's still bugging me this morning (hence the vent!).

The same thing happened at a baby shower I was at on the weekend - I was standing and chatting with a few other pregnant women and when my pregnancy was mentioned a lady said 'oh wow, I can't believe you're so far along, I can barely see a baby bump'.

I'm sick of it because I DO look pregnant - why can't people see it? - is it meant to be a compliment because really they are just telling me I looked this big before, right?

Anyway - I am pregnant and I am really enjoying having a big pregnant tummy - I know I shouldn't care what people say but I wish they would just stop!!

Rant over lol thanks ladies!!


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:hug: I had the same prob with DSs pg so I took to wearing anything I could to emphasise it, like leggings and a long shirt that made me look like I was carrying twins later in the pg! Lol!
I'm getting it this time as well even tho I'm carrying heaps bigger this time around.

sent from my watzamajig so may not make sense....

I had this with my pregnancy with DS1 and it was really annoying! I do think that others think that it's a compliment though!

I also find it very annoying when I get a lot of comments on how "tiny" DS2 is, he's not tiny!! He's in the 50th percentile for everything, that makes him normal!

Sorry for hijacking your thread lol

I think this comes from pregnant women whinging all the time that they feel/look fat/like a beached whale/frumpy/etc.

People want to make you feel good, and the most common way women feel BAD during pregnancy is with their size. So people naturally counter that by regarding how *small* you look.

Yes, it is supposed to be a compliment! Take it as such and enjoy your pregnant tummy all at the same time :D

I get told I'm tiny and people think I'm only early 2nd Trimester and I'm 34 weeks!!
But, I'm tall. I'm 5 foot 9 ish.

It's seriously annoying and I get sick of it. People joking everytime I go to playgroup asking if there actually is a baby in there.
I hate it. Because, I usually have no belly and I feel like a serious beached whale. I can barely get confortable. But, I'm not allowed to complain in public. :(

Honey, I got the "you don't look pregnant" talk on Tuesday. I jumped on the scales and I've put on 20kgs.

I understand. I really do.

I often comment if a woman's belly looks small and compact. Only because I am so jealous. I looked like a beached whale when I was preg. People thought I was due when I had months I go. A friend looked like she had jut eaten a large meal the day before he had her baby and popped out a healthy 7lb baby. We are all different.
I'm sure your belly is just gorgeous. Don't worry about the comments, it doesn't change your belly or your baby , it's just how you are. :-)

Same as JM. I'm a massive shower and get big quick. I'm jealous of all those teeny bellies! I'd take that any day over the way my muscles tore apart. I say it as a complement, same as people saying 'wow you're huge' is a complement. I've actually never minded people saying I'm big. I'm also short so baby has no place to go but out. Pre DD I had a pretty much flat stomach, and this time it was kinda close :lol: But now I'm looking like 15 weeks with DD. everyone carries differently, I'm sure it's just as uncomfy either way :hug:

I completely understand your rant. I agree it is a bit of a back handed compliment at best.

I had someone say to me at 30 weeks, "oh wow I just heard you were pregnant congratulations, I didn't know" and I was seriously big at that point. My first thoughts were "so you just thought I was getting really really fat???"

I tend not to comment on other women's bellies, although I'll admit to being very envious of those gorgeous little basketball bellies you see. I've looked hugely pregnant from early on so I've had lots of "oh, you must be due soon" comments from 5 odd months. The funny thing for me is as huge as I am, I weigh less than I did when I fell pregnant and probably the best thing for me about pregnancy(other than a bub at the end) is that my tummy finally gets firm ;-)

I think pregnancy seems to sever) in people any ability to say/do appropriate things - the touching, the questions etc.

I think it is meant as a compliment - one of those things in society that if you're a woman you MUST like being told how little you are !

LOL, don't take this the wrong way but this is clearly a hormonal rant tehehehe. 'yes' it's a compliment lovely lady :loveshower: Woman usually want to hear that they are looking good, right? And by saying they can hardly tell you are pregnant is a massive compliment! better that then being told how 'fat' you've gotten like I did when I was pregnant :( If anyone has said this to you in a negative tone it is surely only because they are totally jealous that they didn't look as fabulous as you do in pregnancy :hug:

LOL thanks for the replies! This was definitely a hormonal rant but it really worked - I've been feeling much better about it all today. And you're right lol I'll take the b!tchy toned comments about it as jealousy of my awesomeness :rofl:


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People are stupid. I got told I was small for his gestation and "huge" with in a space of minutes. It's all about what they think you should look like.

I know how you feel!
It really use to upset me when people would say "wow you don't look big" or "thats a tiny bump" and "are you sure your pregnant".

I ALWAYS wanted the great big beautiful preggy belly that you see others with, but never got it. However was so proud of my "big" bump.

I do think they are trying to compliment you in a weird sort of way. But then i guess we hormonal pregnant women are "hard" to please and sometimes people are aware they have to be careful with what they say.

Some pregnant women would get upset if someone turned around and said "wow your looking big". LOL so i guess it is a no win situation!

Just be proud of your preggy belly no matter what, and just nod and say thanks through gritted teeth when you get those "compliments" :)

Oh yeah, I get the "wow, considering you are having twins, you're not big at all" to "yup, she is well and truly blooming" five minutes later.
What'll it be people, am I small or am I enormous? Because, really lets face it, I was never gonna be tiny with two bubbas but I don't think I have put on any weight anywhere else except for my bump.
Don't ya just people would say that you are looking great and be done with it there?!!