Birthday party advice

It is a friends daughter's 10th birthday on Monday and my boys got an invite to her birthday party this Saturday (4 days notice) The party is at "The Beachhouse" which is in Glenelg, and has waterslide, dodgem cars, mini golf etc etc. Anyway I said to her this morning that we'd go, and asked if there was anything to pay or if she just pays a lump sum, like play cafe's. I then find out that we have to pay $27 a child. I have 3 children that have been invited. Plus the birthday child would expect a present, and it is a 45 min drive each way from where we live.

We're looking at $100 for my kids to go to a birthday party, for 2 hours. Not including the cost of petrol. It is something we really can't afford as we're trying to save for $700 in car repairs.

Would it be okay to tell the mother we can't go now, due to the costs, after already saying we'd go.

yes I would think so. That's a huge outlay. You could but the birthday child a gift and offer to get together for a play at a later date but that sort of expense for a kids party is too much imho.

Yep I would hun, just tell her the truth, that funds are tight and you didn't realise it would be quite as much as that and leave it that.

with only four days notice, i would be saying that - even if only one child was invited. $27 per child is a lot of money to come up with for another childs party - especially when you weren't given the heads up on invitation. what would have happened if you'd assumed (like most would) that the parents of the birthday child were covering the cost, and travelled all that way only to not be able to enter cos you haven't budgeted for it?

Yeah cause there is no where on the invitation that states you have to pay for entry.

Agree with the other girls, if an invitation is 'pay your own way' then it should be stated quite clearly in the invite, or advised straight away if its a verbal invite.

It's a hell of a lot to fork out to attend a 10yo's party :(

I think its perfectly fine to advise you cant go due to cost. Its a bit presumptuous of the mother to think everything should just be able to rock up and fork out the cash to be honest

I think it's exceptionally rude to invite children to a birthday party and then expect the parents to pay for the child to enter the venue - especially at $27 per kid! If the parent of the birthday child can't afford to pay for all the guests, I think she needs to rethink where she holds the party!

I would have absolutely no hesitation in telling your friend that you cannot come as you can't afford the $100 for your kids to attend. If you want to soften the blow, I would buy a small gift for the birthday girl and either send it or give it to her at another time.

Sorry, I really think she is being very rude!

holy smokes batman!! yeah, i would just be saying sorry, can't afford that for all the kids.
i agree with the others, to invite children to a birthday party somewhere like that and to expect them to pay is very rude imo. like MummyNaomi said, its very presumptuous of the parents to ask kids to a place like that and not cover some of the costs at least!!!

Gosh, I have never come across having the birthday guests paying the entry. I just think she has set her sights on this fantastic place that she wants to hold her kids party no matter what but it is way out of her budget and now all the guests have to wear it. Half the time I would just rock up without any money to drop DD off to a party, which I am sure alot of the other parents will do if it isn't stated on the invitationl. Very rude IMHO.

Yep, I too would say sorry, we just can't do it. That's a ridiculous amount of money. The invite should have said.
It's lucky you asked!

I'd probably be pulling out ... that's a lot of money and a lot of time, and if one or both of those are tight, then no ...

The cynic in me also would be suspicious that an invitation that late to an important birthday like a 10th suggests that my kids didn't make it to the first guestlist, which would make me even less likely to feel bad about pulling out.

Is guests paying for their own entry something new?

I've never heard of a guest to a child's birthday being expected to pay anything, other than the obligatory present-and-card, and maybe some layout to organise a costume to a themed party...?

Yes, I would and tell her why ie: the costs. Apart from her possibly supplying some food for your kids she won't have been put out in a financial sense, so I can't see an issue with you pulling out. Plus she should have stated on the invites that it costs $27 per child, which IMO is ridiculous to expect people to pay for a birthday party

I also would be pulling out. It is a lot of money.

Also at places like that, you are lucky if the whole party stays together anyway.. Too much to keep the children occupied, and they are all interested in different things..

Ummm thats just wrong on all sorts of levels!! if I couldn't afford to host a party I simply wouldn't. No way would I expect the guests to pay their way!!

Def tell her why when you pull out, she needs a reality check

thanks girls.

I spoke to the mother this morning and she apparently has now organised a Birthday party pack, so I now don't have to pay for 2 of my boys. She obviously went home and thought about it, because she did say "yeah originally it was going to be, if you want to come then come, but now I've done a birthday pack thing so you're boys will be covered, you just have to pay for Ashton if he comes" I did mention how that if we had to pay our own way then we wouldn't have been able to afford to come.

So least that's all sorted. I wouldn't have minded so much if we had to pay $10 a child or something, like cover part the cost. But yeah $27.. no way!!

Lol! I bet she had hardly any people coming at that rate, I don't think you would have been the only one. I mean, the Beachhouse is amazing fun, but $27 a pop? :o Hope your boys have a super time now that the mum has revised things.

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So least that's all sorted. I wouldn't have minded so much if we had to pay $10 a child or something, like cover part the cost. But yeah $27.. no way!!

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That is what I was thinking when you first posted. Especially if you pay per child in lieu of a present, or only give a small one. Definitely prefer that people only hold parties that they can afford to.