4 mth old transitioning to daycare...yr experience? Tips for guilt?

Hi everyone

I've been stunned at how hard it is to get into daycare, starting to follow up the waiting lists from a year ago and we are STILL on lists...all of a sudden a light has appeared at the end of the tunnel and we've been offered daycare at a lovely centre, handy to my transport to work and FH to collect her....but the crunch is I need to start her now two days a week...when I return to work full time in two months (they've guaranteed a full time spot for me then).

It's always been our plan for me to return to work full time, I earn a good salary, my job is a trainer also so despite my employer telling me I can opt for p/t I don't know that it would work...I couldn't see myself delivering half a course, no one does it like that at work, we dont have anyone to jobshare with, so I find that a bit odd to try and consider. And I know that heaps of kids go to daycare full time and come out ok...her big sister does already....but every family has to make their own choices and for us it has always been about me going back f/t.

I guess there's the voices that are all asking if I'm going to work p/t...what is that about? Just contributing I guess to the guilt that I'm feeling, seems to be something we all get handed as we leave hospital with our bubs. We don't have any family support either, I will be able to work from home one day a week upon my return if I'm not in a course.

But also knowing now that I have to start her care now, which does make me sad but for all my own selfish reasons...if I think of her, getting her used to the centre now, before the time for separation anxiety kicks in, still giving me time to find another option if she hates this....she is truly the easiest going bub, and I do worry the whole " but she's only known me" constant...being b/f too I think we'll have to supplement while she's in care....it does feel like I have to make all these decisions all of a sudden.

So has anyone put their bubs in a centre at this time...how did you transition them? A few hours rather than a full day? Did you have fears of yourself at the gate yearning to see how yr bub is...I know I'm being ridiculous, it's that whole thing I've never had to leave her with anyone but FH...has anyone got tips for me?

I feel like I'm lucky to have even secured a spot, and so convenient to us both going to work, I shouldn't look this gift horse in the mouth kind of thing. fH tells me to pull my head in, that she needs the socialization...so it's hard to say to him, help me here...

Anyone?

I had no other choice but to put DD in full time at 10 weeks of age

Kids adapt pretty well, but if I had the chance to do it again I would definitely opt for shorter days and then lead up to full time.

Sorry I'm probably not much help at all - sometimes its just trial And error :)

At 4months, you're going to find that the baby will adapt very well - be more likely mummy guilt at sending bub to day care. I'm a family day care educator and have had a few tiny babies here. As long as the place where bub is going will keep with your routine (as much as possible) and be open with you, bub will be fine (and so will you). If you don't have to go back to work just yet, why not start with shorter days and work up to full ones - for yourself more then bub. You might find that the days bub is in care you can get a few things done in preparation for full time work - maybe stocking the freezer with a few meals for those days when you can't be bothered or those things you know will get pushed aside once you are working full time.

My DD started around the same age. She started the week before I went back to work but we started at the length of day she would be there when I returned to work.

Dd had a couple of buddy blanket things that she took everywhere. The night before care, I would sleep with one of them and send it with her to care so she could smell me. It worked well for us. But in all honesty, at that age, she settled really really well. It was harder on me.

My DS has just started day care at five months (started last week) he had a bit off a fussy day the first day where he refused his bottle of EBM but eventually took it and he has been getting more comfortable every day. I agree with mother goose at this age it's a bit easier for them as I don't feel they have really got into the separation anxiety bit yet. My friend had her son start daycare at 11mnths and it was much harder for him than it seems to have been for my boy.

I actually am quite excited for him as he loves some of their toys that are just too expensive for us to have and I can't wait for him to start crawling soon so he can play with all his new friends!

Thanks so much ladies...we got a call last week from the daycare where we've been on the waiting list for a year...it's a brilliant centre and streets ahead of the first one...I'm thinking now in hindsight that this was my mummy instincts with misgivings. We've already gone twice for a look and nth times she's been captivated and come alive in the centre...today the team spent an hour with her and she squealed with happiness. I'm actually looking forward to sending her, it's evident she likes it a lot! I will be taking your advice though, and starting her on smaller shifts in the next few weeks before I go to work.

aquariusmumtobe - where abouts are you sending your little one? im from Brisbane also

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aquariusmumtobe - where abouts are you sending your little one? im from Brisbane also

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We got offered a space at C&k oxley... They seem brilliant and she loves it!

How's yr search?

Oh that is great - I heard the c&ks are wonderful. I def think tho it really comes down to the carers in each room!

We were on a wait list for one that I loved but still haven't heard back (and been on wait list since oct when I was 8mnths preg!) but got into a different one closer to home which I love and they have been great with Our DS. It's a early educare centre in taigum. This is his third week there and he is settling more and more every day.