How do I make this easier for her?

DD turned 3 in March. She understands that there is a baby coming very soon and that it means I have to spend time in hospital.

She's becoming anxious about it. Yesterday I spent the day at mum's with her and late in the afternoon, I had to drive my stepdad to go and pick up his car from the mechanic. At the time I left, DH was at mum's working, so she had my mum and DH there. But apparently after I left, she got upset and asked when I was coming back. I was gone an hour. DH left in that time and she got even more upset at the both of us being gone, even though she adores my mum. She's never had a problem with it before.

Over the past couple of weeks, her sleep has gone back up the creek. She usually sleeps from 7.30-8pm and will sleep around 12 hours (bliss!) But lately, she's been waking up numerous times, crying and stressed, even before DH and I go to bed. She won't say what's wrong and won't resettle until DH and I both go into her room for hugs and maybe a drink of water. Last night she refused to sleep, but did remain in her bed, until nearly 11pm, alternating with crying and calling out for me. Both DH and I took turns in going into her, giving her hugs and being firm that she needed to go to sleep. She came into our bed around 2am, and had to sleep touching me. I woke numerous times, sometimes she was wedged in my back, sometimes her foot was on my hip, other times her hand was on my face. During the day, she's tired and getting cranky because of it.

I sat down with her again this morning and explained that yes, mummy is going to hospital soon, but she can visit me every single day and daddy and nonna will be with her all the time. She just replies with "Okay". I'm not sure where to go with it from here to try and help her get her head around it.

Has anyone got any experiences about what their older child reacted when you went into hospital for #2? It's a five day admission for me, and while I'm not ruling out coming home early, I at least want to be in hospital until my milk comes in (which was day 3 with DD).

Crap, no advice hun but perhaps reading a book about the baby coming & perhaps getting her to pick a present for the baby to bring into hospital? I wonder if talking about it too much is not helping but hindering the situation?? I dunno b/c my DD is two years older than yours and she doesn't seem fussed about the baby (yet) but I haven't spoken too much about it b/c we are only just over half way. I have told my DD I am going into hospital and gave her the choice of who she wants to stay with when I am in there & she is happy to go to her nanas but she was overly sensitive yesterday after coming to the u/s & OBS appt with me & DH, so perhaps it is playing on her mind. Hopefully someone will come in & give some advice for you. Sorry I can't help

I've had 2 three year olds with a new baby. This time I also had a five year old. Very similar to what you're describing both times (you too RCC with your big girl).
I've discovered that as much as we want to make it about our new arrival, the older crew are still very much all about them, and it makes it heaps easier if you recognise the ego part of them.
Instead of the fact that you are going to hospital, turn the focus onto them and the fact that they get a cool holiday/sleepover/guests and all the fun things they'll do. They just can't seem to really conceptualise that that bump with become a sibling nor what that entails on your part, but they do get the fact that they get a status 'upgrade' to big sister/brother. There are lots of benefits that go with that that they can be pepped up with too.
Some kids take it in their stride and some, no matter how much prep you do, just don't. I've had one of each. It really won't be long before they forget what life was like pre baby, no matter what their feelings before hand.

My DD was a bit younger (2yrs 3months) when I had DS but we made a HUGE deal about how much fun she was going to have with her Nonna/Nonno when I went to hospital. We chose a new overnight bag for her and packed a new coloring book/pencils for her and had it ready for when the time came. Also we kept telling her that she could come everyday with Daddy to see me and her new brother etc etc. Also took her shopping and she chose a present for her new brother that we then wrapped and kept reminding her that she could bring it to the hospital and give it to the new baby. Basically we just kept re-inforcing all the positive things and in the end she was busting for me to go to hospital lol!
Good luck!

Thanks.

She won't be having sleepovers because mum will be staying at our place. We've talked about DD and DH going out once baby is here to buy a special big sister present for her to give the baby. As far as baby coming goes, she chats about sharing her toys, teaching him/her how to draw and playing together. She's just freaked that I'll be away. I've never been away from her for more than a few hours, never for an overnight either, so I get where she's worrying. I just wish I could fix it.

I don't know that there is a magic answer :( We are going through similar things with Bailz, he is clinging (with me) and is very aware that his baby sisters arrival is close.

Funnily though after rejecting Daddy over the last few weeks, in the last 24-48 hours, he is all over Daddy like a rash again, and needs him close and they have been playing up a storm which is nice, its almost like he knows that while I am hospital, Daddy will be his wingman :)

I have constantly worry that I am going to be unavailable and letting him down during the biggest change in his life so far, but then I remind myself the gift he is getting (a sibling) and that kids are always more resilient than we give them credit for :)

I think lots of cuddles, kisses, as much quality time as possible and reassurance is really the best at this time, not saying it wont be a challenging time, but it will all fall into place one way or another. Massive Hugs babe, I totally know exactly where you are. AND you are doing a fab job preparing DD! xxx

Nay

I don't know the answer either. We're already have similar issues. I just want to give you more :hug: and support.

A part of the problem in our house is that DD is worried about what is going to happen to me, that "they" are going to hurt me, that she will be on her own, that she can't see me. So I've been reassuring her that she can visit every day and she will be going to school as normal and after school care etc. Hoping it sinks in over the next 6 months!

:hug: Firstly - 23 days to go! Holey toledo batman! :dance:

Secondly, is there any way you could get your mum to come over between now and bub coming and have a "practise" run of her staying, but with you there too?? Dh and you could go out for dinner or something and come home? Sounds silly but might demystify the whole thing for her when she sees it will be almost normal with DH there too?? I also think with the running around once bub comes and having visits in hospital etc. she will more than likely be excited and fine, and might miss you a bit but with FaceTime/skpe etc she could say night night to you both and may be ok? Not sure I have been any help xoxox