Phasing things out, how?

Now that DD is getting older and more independent (I can't believe she's 13 months!!) we want to start phasing a couple of things out. Definitely not wham bam, over the next 4 or so months, so nice and slowly, but we've no idea what approach to take. Firstly, there's the dummy. We've given DD a dummy since she was a few days old I believe. I was sure I wouldn't use one when I was pregnant, but when she was born she had so many head/jaw/neck issues, it turned out to be a really good tool for helping her to open her mouth wide enough to suck. And then it just became a good comfort tool, do we've kept it. Now, she will mainly only have it for sleeps, but I have noticed if she'll find one while playing, she'll pop it in, or sometimes see one and want it. I've never been a fan of the whole toddlers with dummies look, so I'd love some tips for gently phasing it out. She does have other comfort tools, like toys and blankets, so I'm not worried about that. I have noticed since she's stopped BF the dummy is requested a lot more. So advice there would be awesome :)

The other is her bottle. She has 3 250ml bottles of either cows milk or donated EBM a day; one before her morning nap, one before her afternoon nap and one before bed at night. So that's a big sleep association. If we need to go out and we're in a bit of a rush and I think it'll be a bit of a stressful time, I'll take a bottle with us and she'll have one extra that day, because it calms her a little, but that's very occasionally. Again, I'm not a fan of toddlers and bottles, I don't want to have a battle on my hands with DD wanting bottles etc, so again, slow and gentle methods for phasing that out. I don't want to get rid of the milk altogether (I still feel she needs this, maybe it's my guilt over not having milk and not being able to BF, but I think she still needs her milk emotionally, because physically she's a good eater), but I would like to somehow turn maybe her day nap bottles into a cup with a straw, something like that? She has her water cup with a straw that she loves, I was thinking another one in another colour for milk? Starting off warm like her bottles and slowly getting cooler until its not heated anymore? What did other people do in terms of that? All advice would be awesome, TIA :)

My DD is 2 now and still has a dummy most the time and still has bottles. When we switched to cows milk we never warmed it for her, she didn't mind having it like that. A little while ago i'm sure you remember me having issues with how much DD was drinking especially bottles, she would have up to 5 250mls of milk a day! :o the doctor just told me to cut down to a max of 2 and thats what i did. Gave her one in the morning and at night, she then started falling asleep without the bottle so now its her morning bottle which im not overly concerned about, shes still not eating very well so atleast shes getting something first thing everyday.

Her dummy is an issue, more so DP keeps shoving it at her when she cries or sooks so i think ill start weaning him off it first! But she can go a full day without it, night times can be tricky though. But i dont make a huge deal about it. If by 3 she still has it i will be.

I phased the bottle out when I introduced a cup (I used a magmag with a straw). I just gave them their milk in it at the usual times they'd have it. They took really well to it.

I only had 1 child who had a dummy, we used to put it under her pillow together when she got up and if she wanted it during the day she had to have it on her bed. I found when we were out she wouldn't even ask for it but she would run to her room, have a suck and put it back under her pillow lol. She was 3 when i finally took it from her though, then we had a couple of sleepless nights but she got through.

I don't have any personal experience as such, but I know what my sister did with my niece. My niece is 4 in September and only lost her dummies at christmas, though she only had one to sleep. So my sister told her when santa was coming to leave her presents, they were going to give him her dummies because she was a big girl now and was going to be a big sister (My nephew was born in May). She also had a bottle until last year sometime when going to sleep, but around 18 months I believe she moved away from a bottle and went straight to a cup with a straw herself.

Not sure if that really helps at all but thought I'd share how my sister did it.

Dummy - I'd take it off your DD once she is awake (unless you are trying to resettle) and pop it away so she can't find them during awake times. I had to 'hide' DD in her top drawer of her tall boy otherwise she'd happily pop the dummy in random times during the day! We did the cold turkey thing with the dummy & it took about 2 weeks all up before she stopped asking for it. The first week was hard but we stuck to our guns. I am not sure how you'd gradually wean off a dummy, I guess not offering it at sleep times & seeing if your DD settles without it??

Bottle - I'd drop one of the feeds or reduce the amount of EBM you are giving during either the morning or arvo sleep & offer more food at meal times. Also offer milk in a cup. I'd keep the one at night at this stage - she is still young.

What are the other sleep associations? You may need to introduce a toy, blanket to substitute....

I'll add that i tried to buy her a big girl drink bottle and put milk in it and she spent 30 mins chucking a tantrum before i gave up and put it in a bottle.. she was around 18 months when i did that so i think i might try again then move to a cup when shes done the big girl drink bottle for a little while.

DD still has bottles (200ml morning, afternoon sleep and night. She has her afternoon and nighttime bottle on the couch about half an hour before going to bed) and I freakin hate it. I swore by 18mos that she would be off them completely. But her surgeon says she needs to still be having formula due to her being so small and her medical issues.

We're going to start transitioning to a sippy cup or straw cup soon.
I honestly don't think that she's having too many bottles/milk drinks at that age, but that's just me.

With DS, he only has a dummy to sleep. When he wakes up we ask him to give it to us and he loves that. We put it away until his next nap. Up until he was about 6 months old we used to give it to him in the car as well but we stopped that, cold turkey and surprisingly he fell asleep in the car very easily, so now no dummy in the car unless we have been out and it's past his bedtime.

With the bottle we started introducing sippy cups at about 9 months of age. On purpose I bought all different kinds with different spouts and straws, handles and no handles and I started giving him milk and water in these and only a bottle for bedtime. He loved getting a different drinking cup each day. At the age of 1 we just stopped giving him a bottle before bed. We didn't substitute with anything else. DP thought he was going to refuse to go to bed but he didn't even bat an eyelid.

This was all good for us because at 13 months we went overseas for 4 weeks and we had no routine to speak off and DS was just fine with it.

Soooo my only suggestion would be not to have a set cup for milk and one for water, just get lots of different ones and mix things up until your DD no longer cares how her liquids are given to her.

Thanks guys!

The main reason for wanting to phase out now is as others have pointed out...at this stage I think she's still young enough to not (hopefully) refuse the changes.

Her sleep associations are a little pink teddy the snuggles and muzzles, a blanket and a track we play her for all her sleeps.

Her bottle is given after she's put into her sleeping bag, then we read a book, cuddles with mummy and daddy (if he's there) and then bottle in dimmed bedroom in bed. So changing to a cup will mean a slight change in that routine for the day naps but that's fine. She is a bit particular about the milk temp so I think that will just take time.

Tinks, I really like the under the pillow idea! Dummy for naps only in bed, then maybe only for one nap and nights, then down to nights, then never! Lol.

As for her eating, I don't think I could get more into her if I tried. She eats a lot, it surprises me. We still go through a lot of cows milk and have almost finished our donated stash.

We have loads of different cups, from about 9 months too, but DD refused them all except this one silly straw cup. She's only just started holding it herself do it might be a good time to crack out all the fail cups and try again now that she can wrangle them herself.

I'm loving this advice guys, it's really helpful. I feel so clueless at the beginning of each new phase of DD's life, just when I feel I have her sorted she changes and grows some more :)

dummy:

We went cold turkey at 10-11 months. we had one crummy day, one slightly sooky day, one day when he looked for it on and off, and then nothing. we found this much better for DS1 than doing it gradually, and having different rules at different time, ITMS.

bottles

We dropped to two bottles - one with the first morning change, one with the last evening change, then moved to a cup of warm milk with brekky and bottle at night, to a warm cup with brekky and a warm cup with books and bed.

This was trickier for us, than for DS1 as a bottle was the perfect way to stop him wriggling around too much during nappy changes! But we've got there.

We did however try out at least 6 or so different types of cups and tumblers to figure out what did and didn't work well for DS1 ...

Worth it in our view, though, and then he transitioned pretty quickly to using cups all the time.