School and working

If you are in paid employment, how do you get involved in school activities?
I am really curious how people do this as I feel a bit judged atm in regard to how much I am able to get involved. I only work 3 days a week too.
I attended the cross country carnival because it was on my day off. It was great fun and I noted there were a lot of parents who helped out and/or attended to have a picnic. I know DD really loved that we were there. I won't be able to come to the next carnival because I'll be working, however. I'm sure Nat will be ok without us but am feeling conscious that the large parental contingent won't include hers.
I can't help out with reading groups because siblings are not allowed to be present and my child-minding options are very limited at the moment.
I can't attend the regular class playdates (they happen about twice a term) because they're on a Friday afternoon and I'm working so Nat gets minded by a relative.

I am really cranky today because Nat has a school disco tonight which she has been really looking forward to. I found out at the start of the week that the theme is "the olympics". I kept thinking, no one will dress up that much. She'll be right in a swimming costume or leotard or something. Wrongo! Apparently everyone goes all-out for discos and DH tells me DD will not be dressed up as much as her friends. I am seriously pi$$ed at the fact that she can't even go to a freaking disco without our having to do some sort of preparation for it. It's a ****ing disco! She should just be going and dancing! WHY on earth do they want them to dress up in potentially cold & uncomfortable clothing that they probably won't be able to dance in?

I know I'm not the most organised person but I am really dreading when she has actual homework/assignments - I really don't know how I will manage to help her as much as she needs me to.

What do you do? I am feeling pretty lost and I don't want to let her down :(

I work two days a week and DH is full time. You can only do what you can do. On the days I don't work, I don't really get involved as much as I would like as I also have a very active 2.5 DD who would not let me participate effectively. I try and contribute other ways by making sure I help with fundraising (chocolate drives and so on).
When special days or activities come up on days I work, DH and I work around it if we can. Our boys also go to after school care, the number of kids is massive that go now. We are a school of 300 or so kids and the numbers for before and after school care are very high, it just goes to show there are many parents in the same boat.

All kids miss out at some point due to parents working or even if they have a full time stay at home parent, they may not be able to participate in everything, it's a very common occurance these days and something I think kids and schools are used to. There doesn't seem to be as many traditional parenting rolls where one stays home full time and one works full time like when I grew up.

Father's Day is coming up and the my boys school are organising a breakfast and maths games afterwards for the Dads that will finish at 10am. They are trying to help the Dads by making it an early start will a little play and enough time to get to work after.

I know it's hard, I often think am I doing enough.

As for the Disco, what does your DD want to dress up in? Sometimes as parents we can get caught up in the moment and start to stress about what other kids are going to be wearing. Go straight to source, she may well be just as happy and confident in a leotard and carry a hula hoop or swimming costume.

You are doing your best and I bet your DD knows, try not be so hard on yourself.

It is a tough act to be a working parent & an active parent in the school community. I have found this with DD attending Kindergarten this year. Whilst I am on the committee and the meetings are usually at nights (so I can attend) some of the other things are done during the day when I work. I can't apologise for that, I was working before DD started kindergarten and I contribute where & when I can. Not everyone if fortunate enough to be able to participate in their childs school activities and I would think that any help or attendance would be greatly appreciated and noted.

In relation to the disco theme I wouldn't be worried too much about going all out - like you said it is a Primary School disco and for the most part the kids will be dancing, singing and playing with their friends! Some people are highly competitive but I just don't buy into it. My DD would be happy to just be going to the disco!

FWIW I don't think your DD will be feeling let down - look back to how excited she was that you could make the athletics carnival - it was such a treat for her & I think that would be something she would remember more than you being there for every single activity, it is more special when it is a treat.

I really want to be involved next year with my DD school but I will be restricted b/c I will have a newborn baby - it won't be like that all the time & I'll contribute as much as I can when I can. I spoke to the principal about it today & she was more than happy to accept any type of help, even on a casual basis, which was comforting. I am fortunate that my mum lives around the corner from my DD school, so I could drop bubs off for a short time with her - could you look into occassional care for your other DD on one of your days off if there was something you really wanted to attend?

Don't feel bad, I think you being so concerned about this makes you an excellent, caring parent & one that your DD is lucky to have. I know of many people who don't work and still don't play an active role in the their kids education ((hugs))

Thanks girls. Yep, I imagine I am not so alone as I feel :(
It just feels like a lot of pressure and it's probably my state of mind at the moment more than anything. But I do wonder how we're going to cope when the homework comes in! If she's anything like I was she's going to need a lot of... erm... motivation from her parents to actually *do* her homework, lol. Even now she's not mad-keen on doing her readers. Too damn tired!

I digress. Thanks for the understanding & kind words. xx

I completely understand. I feel like I'm on the outter because I don't do daily drop off and pick up at school. I get to do it once a week. I don't do class helper because I work 4 days.

I did join the PA which meets twice a term and organises fundraising stuff. But I am finding this too much at the moment - more so the politics. I'm hoping next year will be a little easier because I'll be on Mat Leave.

I hope next year's better for you, MG.
And I get the drop-off/pick-up clique thing too. I'm fortunate in that there are two mums I know from playdates and they usually invite me in to the convo when I'm collecting Nat.

I could have written your post word for word! I do tuck shop once a term as it is on one of my non working days. I too hate the school pick up/drop off clique. I now stay in the car till the bell goes.

It is hard. Not sure there really is an answer.....

The school pick up clique is something that worried me at first. I am not terribly confident in groups where I don't know people. I say blow them and turn up and stand there anyway, in doing that I have a few that I can talk (who were like me, not confident) to and some really just aren't worth my time or head space ;)