Need some positive mindset help!

Sorry this is going to be pretty rambling....
I have been going really well and been really proactive and excited to have a nice, calm waterbirth for this bubby. Until my appointment the other day I had to see a registrar (for the first time this pg) about my prolapse. Never mind the prolapse she was pretty uninterested in that "oh the physio can fix that" but was much more interested in our decision to refuse antibiotics for group b strep. How that is relevant to a prolapse I'm not sure but she and the midwife (not my midwife) were determined to interogate me about it and change my mind! I know I shouldnt have let them get to me because I won't be seeing either of them again and my midwife and the birthcentre are really great but now I keep thinking, if I have any complications I will be transferred to the labour ward full of people with this mindset and I won't have the mental strength to deal with them and Im terrified the birth will go the same way as DS's. I'm already struggling with how crowning will go with the level of scar tissue I have from a poorly sutured episiotomy and surgery to fix it.
I can't put these things out of my mind and I'm really struggling to get my positive natural calmbirth mojo back. Any suggestions?


sent from my watzamajig so may not make sense....

Perhaps peri massage will help to soften that area before birth. Evening primrose oil caps inserted inside at night and massage help that whole area to soften- but check with you mw 1st as always :)
you can have the birth you want. You are a strong women and you and baby are in control :)

Sorry if it doesn't make sense, the barefoot princess is covering me with kisses

Do you have a doula, or perhaps a trusted friend who knows your fears well who could maybe come and be with you should you need to transfer (or even if you don't?) I experienced similar; great midwife in the program I was in, but awful hospital midwives who really wanted to intervene. My doula really took the anxiety out of the time I had to deal with those people, and was an awesome reminder that I could do what I had set out to and to trust my choices.

What an awful experience for you..
Are you planning on writing down your birth preferences/ plan hon?
Will DH speak up for you guys if need be? I agree with PZ about a doula/ friend or even a trainee doula???
Perhaps speak with your midwife in the birth centre about your experience and have it written on your records about your concerns and birth preferences.
Xo

:hug: I know you have the strength to get the birth you want, I'm cheering for you all the way over here!
They can't force you to have the antibiotics babe, and if they are pushing the idea then I would be making complaints and making them loudly. Sucks when you have to see someone other than your normal support team xx

Just try and remember those people thought they we doing their job, and it really has nothing to do with you, but their own anxieties that they tell you what they think. Water off a ducks back...you just have to place it back on them and move forward, because you know your decision is right for you.

As for the perineum, im sorry to hear you had a bad experience the first time around. A woman in my mg had a similar story, and had surgery the times to fix a terrible epi scar. She then went on to birth her son without drugs and he had a 39.5cm head!!!!!!

I second the idea of perineal massage to help you alleviate your fears and to soften the area.

Good luck.

thanks girls, just what i need to hear :) i hadnt thought of periniel massage, i'll have to look into it (if i can see/reach down there still!).
i have a birth plan and there is a copy in my file as well as my midwife has written notes just from talking to me.

DH should be fine to speak up for me but i dont feel like i can trust him to speak up in every situation and he is too reasonable for my liking!! in regards to the antibiotics he wants to reason with them about why we are not doing them rather than just saying no we arent having them, thanks. he also has such a different recollection of DS's birth which i think is why i am struggling to trust him completely to stand up for us. i cant have anyone else in there with me, i dont want my mum in there cos she is too confrontational and hates (fears) drs and hospitals in general, Obs specifically so i dont want that attitude there. my MIL is a midwife at the hosp so is a bit too happy to do whatever they recommend and i dont want her to be put in an awkward position IYKWIM. i have a student midwife but she more of an observer than anything else. i would have my sister but she was not much use at DSs birth and she cant be guaranteed to be here when i go into labour cos shes on the central coast.

i think i will have to make an additional appointment to sit down with my midwife and talk it out with her.

A complaint about them pushing antibiotics is a good idea. In some countries a Dr never gives a pregnant women antibiotics unless its a serious illness.

Sorry if it doesn't make sense, the barefoot princess is covering me with kisses

Yes it is a good idea. most countries don't even test for group b strep let alone administer antibiotics....

sent from my watzamajig so may not make sense....

Want me to come over? I might not be a lot of help but I can tell them where to stick the needle if they start pushing for it