Overseas Wedding - Would You Go?

A good friend of mine is getting married. He's Australian, his fiancé is Chilean. It's in Chile. He's made it clear it would mean a lot if I could go over. I'm not sure, apart from family, whether he's got any other friends going. I'm up there in the best mate stakes IYKWIM (as he is in mine).

OK, I think writing that I've convinced myself to go.

Options are:

1. Go on my own. No kid-wrangling. Cheapest. But I don't really want to go on my own. Apart from that initial "ahhhh", of being child free, I then get bored.
2. Take DD1. Flight is 12 hours from Sydney. She's almost 5 and although it's a daytime flight, she'd pretty much be OK.
3. All of us go. Expensive. DD2 would NOT be fine on a 12 hour daytime flight from Sydney. If it was a PM flight, she'd be OK but not during the day. I don't sleep on flights. AT ALL.
4. I take DD1 and DP brings DD2 on a separate flight. He 'owes me' because he had a month long holiday in Europe this year while I stayed here with the children. But still expensive if we're not going to do much when we're there other than the wedding and a bit of a mooch around Chile.

Maybe I need to look at what other things we could do in/around Chile. I've had a quick look at cruises and the dates don't seem to line up.

What would you do?

Unless I particularly wanted to go to Chile or money was no object, I wouldn't go. I kind of regret going to my brother's wedding in NZ. The whole trip sucked and NZ was not a place I had any desire to go. None of his friends went, only immediate family. You could take your friend out to dinner to celebrate when they return if you like. It would be much cheaper.

Having said that, Chile sounds like it could be fun. Different to the usual Bali/Thailand/Fiji holiday.

For me it would depend on a few things.

1. How long are you planning on going?
2. Do you have the spare $$ for ALL of you to go?
3. Do you have someone to watch the kids while your at the wedding or is is kid friendly?
4. How close are you to this person, would they do the same for you?

Personally for me i would either go child free for a shorter time (the cheaper option) OR all of us go.

If i were going i would want to make the most of enjoying the wedding with a really great friend, if you had just DD1 would you need to leave early to put her to bed and the like?
If ALL of you were there would you need to leave early, i couldn't think of anything worse than flying all that way for a wedding i can't stay at all night IYKWIM.

If you think the flights would be fine and you have the $$ and you would get to ENJOY being at the wedding then i would go as a family and make a little holiday of it... would DP be willing to maybe look after the kis while you party on at the wedding?

Is there any possibility you and DP could go without kids?

Considering the friendship you've described, I'd want to try really hard to go. And I couldn't bring myself to go anywhere without DD, and would probably like DH to come help out with her. So it'd mean a full family trip and right now I'd just have to say no. We just couldn't afford it (probably couldn't afford me going on my own either). So for me, money would be the only obstacle.

We went to Fiji (so 4/5 hrs) as a family (DH, DD & I plus my sister & mum) for a friends wedding and tacked on a holiday. It was exxy but we had a really great time & it was my mums 60th birthday too, so it was extra special for her too. I'd see if you can all go as a family with budgeting for it. GL

i would go with dd1. leave dp home with dd2.

If it were me I wouldn't. We don't have money to be using for stuff like that and would rather use it for family holidays we want to go on ourselves iykwim :)

I've got to say that I wouldn't go. Flights to Chile would be very expensive wouldn't they? Unless you have a burning desire to go to Chile anyway, I would plan a special celebration with them back in Aus.

Pre kids, one of our closest friends (of both DH and I) got married in Brazil and we were invited. We were saving up for a unit at the time and didn't go. We had a party in Aus on the wedding day with some of their other friends and took photos and toasted them etc. And then they ended up having a civil ceremony here anyway about a year after, so we (and only immediate family) went to that.

You have to weigh up not only the cost of going but also what else you could spend that money on - like Heaven said, a holiday in your choice of destination.

I will go against the grain....and say, if you have the got the money or could save up I would go. Life is made up of memories of occasions like this, for someone to invite you to their wedding is an extremely special thing, it is a huge compliment to you that your friend views you as a super special someone in his life who he wants to share his and his future wife's greatest day with. I would probably either just take DD with you or go as a family if you have the funds and turn it into a fantastic holiday as well. You will have memories of this forever and I don't think you will regret it.

I would definitely go if I could. And if I could I'd go with tinks suggestion.

We had this 2yrs ago except it was DH's best mate, they had known each since primary school and his brother's were also going to be going. There was no way I was not going to let DH go. It was just a matter of deciding if I would go with DD (4mths at the time). In the end he went for 7days.
He had a good time and the kids loved imagining what surprises he was going to bring home.

I would either go with Tinks idea or go yourself for minimum amount of time. It's one of those life opportunities you may regret later.
Chile would be a fascinating place and I don't think you would be bored at all.

I regret not being able to go to my oldest friend's wedding in the Czech Republic about five years ago. I would have been her bridesmaid (for the second time, I was her bridesmaid at her first wedding too). :(

But we had DD1 as a toddler and money was an obstacle. To go to Europe for a holiday needed a lot more planning than the time we had and it was in the busiest time of year for both of us (we work for ourselves). Sucks balls.

You should all go and have a fantastic holiday if you can afford it. Flights will work out. I bet there's heaps to do in Chile!

I'd either go on my own or with DD (or just DH if that was an option). Adventures are made of invitations like that. So are memories.

So much to think about. I'd love if just DP and I could go (we desperately need couple time) but we literally haven't got anyone who could look after the girls. We've been out twice without the girls in the last TWO YEARS!!! Added to that, DP isn't usually home in the evenings so we don't even get many nights in chatting in front of the TV. Virtually all our time together is spent with the girls which is one of the main reasons our relationship feels like such hard work. Anyhow, off topic.

One of the reasons I was looking into cruises was because we could have a family holiday but have some couple time too (with the onboard kids programs).

I haven't had a holiday of more than four days in five years so I'm hanging out for one but Chile wasn't on the shortlist.

Totally agree, that it's my friends once in a lifetime event and I do feel I should be there for him regardless of how I feel about a holiday in Chile (not that excited, I've done Central America before and pelvis/hip/back problems mean I can't do treks or stuff like that these days).

Financially, we're in a pretty good spot. I can definitely justify the expense of me going - all of us, not so much unless as people have said we incorporate it into a family holiday but really for it to be a holiday, we need to find somewhere with a kids program. Otherwise, it really won't feel like a holiday. DD1 is pretty much a breeze but DD2 is a typical toddler and a handful.

Could you cruise to somewhere nearby that you WANT to visit, and then fly over just for the wedding - I'm thinking just you for the flying part, you'd be gone 2 days at most.

You read my mind Keike - there's a cruise that leaves Sydney a few days after the wedding BUT the kids program is for kids aged 3+ and DD2 is only 2.

DP agrees that DD1 would be a great travelling companion and that the options are that

a) I go on my own
b) I go with DD1
c) a or b and we meet somewhere else for cruise

Really, departing from Australia, I'm only interested in a cruise to NZ. Zero interest in seeing Pacific Islands.

Go go go! best mate. Go go go. Chile is well worth a look around if u can wangle that too.
I had a flatmate who spent 5mths in Chile and says it changed him forever- in a great way.

Ro- did u end up in te kawiti. Nz? its a great country to vist *cough* not that Im bias or anything ;)


Sorry if it doesn't make sense, the barefoot princess is covering me with kisses