Please share how you make co-sleeping work for you :)

So far my little 4 week old DD has been sleeping in a bassinette in our bedroom, but after a few 2am mummy meltdowns I'm thinking of co-sleeping with her as she always sleeps best next to me or on me. I'm very anxious to make sure it's safe and I've read the guidelines for safe co-sleeping but I can't get my head around how to make it work in reality, so I was hoping some of you wouldn't mind sharing how you do it :)

So some questions for example:
- how old was baby when you started co-sleeping?
- did your DH/DP sleep in the bed as well, and if not was he okay about being bumped out or did it affect your relationship?
- do you sleep on a normal bed or mattress on the floor like the guidelines say?
- do I really have to sleep with baby on the outside (instead of between DH and I)? I'm scared she'll fall off the bed!
- what do you have in terms of pillows/sheets/blankets? The guidelines say to only sleep with a light blanket but it's winter, I'll freeze without my sheet and doona!
- do I still wrap baby up? And if you monitor room temperature (we have a little gro egg to tell us the temp) what should it be ideally?
- how and when did you transition baby back to their own bed?
- for daytime sleeps do you put baby in the bed or their own basinette/cot?

Sorry for the million and one questions but I want to make sure my DD is safe and secure! Or am I just really overthinking it? Any other tips you can share would be great too :) TIA!

Subbing, when I get to my computer soon I'll answer what we did :)


Sent from the land of "iSomethings" so forgive me for any spelking misstaks ;)

So some questions for example:
- how old was baby when you started co-sleeping?
DD1 was about 3ish months, DD2 straight from hospital!

- did your DH/DP sleep in the bed as well, and if not was he okay about being bumped out or did it affect your relationship?
DD1- he was fine with it however it took us some time to get it right. we experimented with me in the spare room with bub, him in the spare room by himself, tried to make a side car type thing with the cot being next to the bed, eventually just found it was easiest to have her in bed with us.
DD2- we upgraded to a king sided bed and DD1 went onto the cot mattress on the floor next to our bed.

- do you sleep on a normal bed or mattress on the floor like the guidelines say?
Nope

- do I really have to sleep with baby on the outside (instead of between DH and I)? I'm scared she'll fall off the bed!
You dont have to but it depends on how wiggly or how much of a heavy sleeper your DH is. I found that i had to alternate as i was breastfeeding also so baby would be on the inside when i was feeding with left boobie and otherway round. you can get a bed rail that attaches to your bed from kmart etc which is what we use.


- what do you have in terms of pillows/sheets/blankets? The guidelines say to only sleep with a light blanket but it's winter, I'll freeze without my sheet and doona!
they just had the same blanket as us. our body warmth seems to keep them at a comfortable temperature. and i could easily check to see if she needed a blanket off or on as she was laying right there.

- do I still wrap baby up? And if you monitor room temperature (we have a little gro egg to tell us the temp) what should it be ideally?
I wouldnt wrap them up as i would think they would need an element of movement to be in with adults. not 100% sure but it never felt right to me. and they didnt like being wrapped anyways.


- how and when did you transition baby back to their own bed?
DD1- she was with us in our bed until toddler -ish age when we then got her to start in her own room and she could wake up and come in if she wanted to during the night. when DD2 came along she had to then go onto the mattress on the floor.

DD2- same about toddler ish age she had to start the night off in her room but she still comes in to us most nights between 12 and 4 and she is 3 now. i dont mind but DH is getting a bit over it. every now and then she'll have a whole night in her room. DD1 is 6 now and she sleeps in her room most nights but still does come in our room sometimes.

- for daytime sleeps do you put baby in the bed or their own basinette/cot?
DD1- she slept in our bed for all sleeps or a mattress on the floor as she hated her cot. used to go hysterical in it.
DD2- she slept in her cot for day sleeps.

Hope that helps! :-)

Re blankets - try wearing a jumper or something to keep your top half warm. You do need to be mindful of keeping blankets and pillows away from your baby when she's so young
You can push you bed against the wall - but be mindful of any gap there taht she could fall into - or get a rail or some such to keep her in.
You could also push a cot up side-car style with one rail off, so she has her own sleeping space right next to you.
Most mothers with young babies will naturally form a protective C around them when they sleep together, this helps to keep them safe.

For layers - just think about what you need to feel comfortable at night and be guided by that.
My DH sleeps elsewhere as he doesn't like being woken up :)

For daytime - whatever suits you.
For changing to sleeping alone - it depends on you, really, but all children eventually get to the point where they are happy and able to sleep alone. It's just a matter of time.

Just note also, that bed sharing - as opposed to co-sleeping, which means sleeping near by, but not on the same bed surface - is not recommended if baby is formula fed, if either parent is a smoker, or if you are under the influence of alcohol or medication that may affect your ability to rouse from sleep.

- how old was baby when you started co-sleeping?

A couple of hours old :) Unless you count me drifting off in the delivery room while she had her first feed :lol:

- did your DH/DP sleep in the bed as well, and if not was he okay about being bumped out or did it affect your relationship?

Yep, we all sleep together.

- do you sleep on a normal bed or mattress on the floor like the guidelines say?

We slept in a normal bed until we moved this year (when Amelia was 14m), now we're on a mattress. That was more of a "I don't like our bed frame" thing though.

- do I really have to sleep with baby on the outside (instead of between DH and I)? I'm scared she'll fall off the bed!

We swap depending on which side I'm feeding her on. Once she was rolling, I put a barrier thing up to stop her falling out. We eventually put her cot next to the bed with one side taken off.

- what do you have in terms of pillows/sheets/blankets? The guidelines say to only sleep with a light blanket but it's winter, I'll freeze without my sheet and doona!

I'm bad here. I break the rules. We've slept with a doona over us from the start. I think I had DD under her own blanket for a little while, but it wouldn't have been for long. I just make sure she and I are higher on the bed than DH so it comes up to her chin/my chest.

- do I still wrap baby up? And if you monitor room temperature (we have a little gro egg to tell us the temp) what should it be ideally?

I've never had to deal with either of these. She's never been wrapped, and I just go by how hot/cold I am.

- how and when did you transition baby back to their own bed?

Haven't done this yet.

- for daytime sleeps do you put baby in the bed or their own basinette/cot?

I've just started occasionally putting her in a toddler bed for day/evening sleeps, but I still lay down with her until she drifts off.


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Just note also, that bed sharing - as opposed to co-sleeping, which means sleeping near by, but not on the same bed surface - is not recommended if baby is formula fed, if either parent is a smoker, or if you are under the influence of alcohol or medication that may affect your ability to rouse from sleep.

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Hey MadB, do you know why this is?

Sorry to hijack Stephie :D

Bubs was in our bed from day one.
He slept 0n whichever side he fed from last.
Hubby sleeps with us.
We have a doona but no other blankets. He has always slept on/in my arm/s
He started sleeping in his own bed sometimes from about 12 months, but at 2 and a half he still sleeps with us more often than not.

Info & references in HERE

- how old was baby when you started co-sleeping?
We co-slept from Day 1.

- did your DH/DP sleep in the bed as well, and if not was he okay about being bumped out or did it affect your relationship?
We all slept together.

- do you sleep on a normal bed or mattress on the floor like the guidelines say?
Normal Bed - when DD was tine we had her in something called "My Little Bed", which is like an insert thing that you put in your bed to stop anyone rolling on her.

- do I really have to sleep with baby on the outside (instead of between DH and I)? I'm scared she'll fall off the bed!
We put a rolled towel or pillow under the edge of the mattress to raise the edge and prevent rolling.

- what do you have in terms of pillows/sheets/blankets? The guidelines say to only sleep with a light blanket but it's winter, I'll freeze without my sheet and doona!
I can't remember, but I think we used several blankets in winter...

- do I still wrap baby up? And if you monitor room temperature (we have a little gro egg to tell us the temp) what should it be ideally?
DD was wrapped for about 3-4 months. We didn't monitor temperature.

- how and when did you transition baby back to their own bed?
DD had a brief period when she was about 3 1/2 when she slept in her own bed, but now at 5, she's back with us (mostly because our house is freezing and I don't see the point of heating a room just for her - plus she's like a human hot water bottle...)

- for daytime sleeps do you put baby in the bed or their own basinette/cot?
Yes, we had a bassinette with handles that we used to carry around.

HTH. :)

Thanks for your replies so far, they have been so helpful already! :)

- how old was baby when you started co-sleeping?
she slept with us from day 1, occasionally going into the bassinet next to us, but that was very rarely. She started sleeping in her cot at around 6-8 months i think it was, but initially the cot was against out bed, with the rail taken off, so she still had access to me/our bed.

- did your DH/DP sleep in the bed as well, and if not was he okay about being bumped out or did it affect your relationship?
Yep DH slept in the bed too, he didnt care at all, in fact he was the one that suggested co-sleeping/bed sharing in the first place

- do you sleep on a normal bed or mattress on the floor like the guidelines say?
Both, but not because thats what the guidelines said. Our bed frame broke so we had to use the mattress on the floor for awhile lol. but that was only for a month or so, other than that, just in our normal bed.

- do I really have to sleep with baby on the outside (instead of between DH and I)? I'm scared she'll fall off the bed!
We alternated, depending what side she fed from last. But she nearly always slept in my arms anyway. but if you're worried about bubs falling off the bed, could you get a side rail for the bed? y'know the ones meant for toddlers?

- what do you have in terms of pillows/sheets/blankets? The guidelines say to only sleep with a light blanket but it's winter, I'll freeze without my sheet and doona!
We had normal pillows, and normal blankets. Which was just a sheet and a doona. That was warm enough for us, but on really cold nights we also used a heater to warm the room up.

- do I still wrap baby up? And if you monitor room temperature (we have a little gro egg to tell us the temp) what should it be ideally?
We used to wrap DD in the really early days, when we did it for night time sleep, we'd just use a very thin wrap, and a fairly light suit (depending how cold it was, obviously, it was abit of trial and error) once she was abit older and wasn't wrapped, we just put her in what we'd wear, and just add a singlet and socks. Because she has our body heat to keep her warm as well as the blankets

- how and when did you transition baby back to their own bed?
as i said earlier, DD was about 6-8 months, but that was because SHE wanted it, she wasnt sleeping very well compared to what she used to, so what we did was we put her cot right on our bed, and got rid of the side rail so she was still with us, but had her own space, ITMS. we slowly transitioned her to sleeping on her own in the cot, after a month or two, we put the side rail back on the cot, but left it where it was, and then after a few more months, we moved the cot to the other side of the room, and waited for her to get used to that, and the next step is moving her into her own room, which will probably be when it gets abit warmer as we have a heater in our room, and its quite cold atm!
between swtiching from each type of going to sleep, we always made sure she was thoroughly used to it, and wasn't still putting up fights going to sleep. she didnt overly like it initially, for say maybe the first 2-3 nights, but she got used to it, and still loves her cot and going to sleep, so it was more a fear of the unknown thing IMO. she didnt put up a huge fight and scream or anything like that, but more a whinge and wanted cuddles etc. which we gave her until she was calm and happy. At this time, we also taught her to put herself to sleep too, no CIO or anything. Just a matter of letting her figure out how to self settle really.

- for daytime sleeps do you put baby in the bed or their own basinette/cot?
Nope. she either slept on our bed, in her side-car cot, or on us whether that was in a carrier/sling, or just being held :)

I have co-slept with all 5 of my children, but I will use my last bub as a reference for your questions as we still co-sleep with her.

- how old was baby when you started co-sleeping? - A few hours.
- did your DH/DP sleep in the bed as well, and if not was he okay about being bumped out or did it affect your relationship? - DH has always slept in the bed with us.
- do you sleep on a normal bed or mattress on the floor like the guidelines say? - We sleep on a normal bed, sometimes DH & I are head to toe with one another for that little bit more space, especially if Dd2 jumps in with us.
- do I really have to sleep with baby on the outside (instead of between DH and I)? I'm scared she'll fall off the bed! - I sleep with bub on my arm, which means she can't roll out and I can't roll onto her without firstly getting a major pain in my arm & shoulder.
- what do you have in terms of pillows/sheets/blankets? I dress warmer and just throw a blanket over me. We have ducted heating here so we make sure it doesn't get too cold or hot.
- do I still wrap baby up? And if you monitor room temperature (we have a little gro egg to tell us the temp) what should it be ideally? - Dd3 hates being wrapped and has from the start. Even today she hates any blankets being on her.
- how and when did you transition baby back to their own bed? We now put DD3 in her cot to sleep, but she wakes up and comes in with us. We started to transition her by taking the side off her cot and pushing it against our bed.
- for daytime sleeps do you put baby in the bed or their own basinette/cot? She often just goes down in our bed now as she loves our boomerang pillows. When she was smaller, she would be placed in the centre of our bed.

This is a pic of how we put the cot against the bed. 2654




From my iPhone.

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This is a pic of how we put the cot against the bed. 2654

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thats how our bed and cot was set up too :)

My answers below in relation to DD:

- how old was baby when you started co-sleeping?
From birth. I put her to bed in her cot and she comes in when she wakes for the first or sometimes second time.

- did your DH/DP sleep in the bed as well, and if not was he okay about being bumped out or did it affect your relationship?
Yes but he starts work very early so is normally up about 2am. Sometimes DS joins us too :)

- do you sleep on a normal bed or mattress on the floor like the guidelines say?
Normal bed.

- do I really have to sleep with baby on the outside (instead of between DH and I)? I'm scared she'll fall off the bed!
I put her on whichever side she was feeding on. She had her head on my arm so I was always very aware of her.

- what do you have in terms of pillows/sheets/blankets?
I had normal sheets & blankets but not pulled up.

- do I still wrap baby up? And if you monitor room temperature (we have a little gro egg to tell us the temp) what should it be ideally?
No & didn't use.

- how and when did you transition baby back to their own bed?
15mo now & still co-sleeping. She's showing signs of being ready but I couldn't be stuffed re-settling her in her cot lol!

- for daytime sleeps do you put baby in the bed or their own basinette/cot?
In her cot.

I always felt she was safe as I was very aware of where she was, she wasn't a wriggler and I'm a light sleeper. She was also very strong & healthy. It wasn't the most ideal, completely safe environment but I felt the risk was low. What worked for us though, might not work for you. Only you can make that judgement with your baby.