A new baby and DD - the guilt

Hi guys,

Im getting induced today (starting with gel) but I have been getting extremely emotional and anxious. Not about the birth so much but how much I will miss DD.

Even now im on the verge of tears and I couldn't send her to childcare today (DH had to drop her off).

I have been sleepless thinking about how her world is going to change so much. She has been the center of attention for 4.5 years and we co-sleep so I am not sure how she will cope without her mum.

Oh gosh, I really dont know how to be strong for this!!!!!!!!

How did you prepare yourself mentally for the huge change coming? How do you stop the guilt? I was a LTTTC so this baby was no accident but now im just regretting it which makes me feel even worse!

Thanks in advance

Massive :hug: hun. What your feeling is totally understandable! Your on the verge of a massive life change and it can be overwhelming.
I want to offer you the assurance that while yes, your Dd life is about to change, it is a positive change that will enrich her life and the lives of your entire family! I felt so nervous and scared and excited for Ds1 the day before and the morning of my scheduled c-sec....but all that melted away when I heard Ds2's little squark! And now DS2 is 11mo and from day dot ds1 has doted on him- they are best friends!
Lots of love and good luck Hun, I'll be stalking xxxxxx

I went through the same feelings. It's so hard. But DD has adjusted to her baby sister really well, she just loves her.

The hardest part was while I was in hospital - DD struggled to the point she stopped eating and told my mum that I was never coming home. Once I did get home, we got straight into our normal routine and she's been fine about her sister since.

Good luck today! I was induced with gels and with that came a whole barrage of emotions :hug:

:hug: hun, what you are feeling is 100% normal.
I was worried about DD1 as she was only 15mths old, not sure how she would feel being so little with someone coming in and taking her mum away.
I was worried that when she saw her in hospital she wouldn't like her but i had no reason to worry, the first time she saw her she fell in love, she looked so so proud and just patted her.

I found whenever i wasn't feeding DD2 i would try and do something with DD1, if you get the chance aswell have some time with just her while DH has some time with bub.

Good luck today...

On hun, I haven't been in your situation but I just wanted to say that I'm sure everything will fall into place just like a puzzle :) Remember that you are not just the only one gaining a little parson in your life, your gorgeous DD is gaining someone too and I'm sure she'll be so excited! I would just involve her as much as you can in your day to day tasks so your DD feels like she is contributing too, and that way everyone gets equal attention. GL with your inducement hunni, I hope all goes well! xxxxx

For us, it wasn't perfect straightaway when baby 2 was born, and some days i wondered wth i had done. But now, i love seeing them start to play together. From about 4 months it really started to become enjoyable, as DS could give DD the interaction she was craving.

best wishes as you prepare to meet your new little person

I cried all the way to hospital when i had DS2 because I was so sad for DS1. Like you I felt so awful that he'd been the centre of our world and now it would all be different and that he wouldn't really understand (he was three days off turning two). He also spent lots of time on our bed, and my time in hospital was the first time I'd spent the night away from him. DS2 is 8 weeks now and while there's been some moments where it's been really hard for the most part DS1 loves his little brother. I try to spend as much time with him alone doing stuff as possible when DS2 is asleep or when some else has him, but more often than not DS1 asks where DS2 is and wants him to join us.

So all perfectly normal, valid feelings. They WILL go away and you can enjoy your beautiful two children without feeling bad xx

Good luck :)

Hi babe, I've been stalking I hope your Ok and you are holding your new precious bundle. Lots of love xxxx