I/we have made a HUGE decision!

I *think* I'm ok with it. :confused:

I have bipolar. I am not medicated at the present time for a few reasons, but mainly because of ttc and the risks to the unborn baby if I were to be on the mood stabilising medications. Another reason is because I am going through CBT therapy at the present time to TRY and forestall the use of meds at all.

But...I don't think it is working. So, as of my appointment with my psychiatrist yesterday, I am on a official ttc "deadline".

I will be continuing to ttc as I am now until my next p-doc appointment on the 3rd November. If I have not conceived by that time, I'm pulling the pin and going onto meds. Not sure how long for, could be six months, could be longer. IF I am still keen to complete my family after that time, I will be taken off the meds and will start ttc again.

So, my clock is REALLY ticking now. :pray:

Lisa

Sounds a bit stressful Lisa, hope the deadline doesn't put too much pressure on you. But I guess it's good to have at least made a decision and know what you're doing? Sending you lots of positive vibes! Hope you manage to get pregnant, but if not, have fun trying ;)

Lisa, I just want to say congratulations for being strong enough to admit that you have a problem and do what needs to be done about it. Thank you for your honesty in being able to admit to a problem that is not always seen positively.

I'm sure it was a difficult decision, but I'm also sure that it was the right one for you. Good luck with your journey. :hug:

BW

Lisa, good on you for being strong enough to make a decision like that. I think you are terribly brave, and I wish you all the luck in the world in ttc. As angelfish said, you can certainly have fun trying!

hope it all goes well for you on ttc and like angelfish said you have fun trying ,andi've got:crossfingers: for you:)

All the very very best with it Lisa! :)

Oohh Lisa ... I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed that you make your deadline ;) It must be a tough tightrope to walk - balancing your health and your future bub's health. I hope that you're able to have the best of both worlds :hug:

Lisa, I really hope all goes well for you. Have fun!

Best wishes, Lisa (great name, I'm a Lisa too!!), I hope it all goes well for you and I'll send as much positiveness as possible to you that you get :bfp: asap!!!

Thank you all. I appreciate your good wishes and support. The ttc club is a dodgy one if you don't understand what goes into it. ;)

I've really been searching my soul over this one. It isn't the first time that my psychiatrist and I have discussed it, but he let me take the time to decide things for myself and I really appreciate that from him. As each month passes, I feel more unhinged and a lot sadder and that's not a good feeling. I realise that in order to survive the BFN's, I need to be more "well" within myself. Although only relatively recently diagnosed, I've known that I have had issues for years and am only now starting to deal with them properly. But I'm getting there and I can feel it. Just not getting there quickly enough. I'm getting older by the day and I want to enjoy the rest of the time I have on this earth, unhindered by racing thoughts, hypomania and depression. :(

It's really not all as dire as it sounds. The deadline doesn't really worry me, we're going to continue as we were for the next few cycles anyway and I keep telling myself that each AF I see is one cycle closer to my BFP. I'll still be temping, charting, taking Lydia Pinkham and peeing on sticks and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, well I've got a gameplan and with my illness, forward planning is all important. Not always possible to abide by, but important nonetheless.

I still have at least 4 sessions with my psychologist in the meantime for CBT therapy. This may well do the trick. But as discussed with my p-doc, it may not as well. I've got my bases covered in whichever direction is necessary.

The more I think about it, the more ok I am with it. Truly. I've got a busy time ahead of me anyway with beginning to show my dogs again and our Royal and Ag Show season is coming up so I'll have plenty on my mind OTHER than ttc and I see that as being a good thing too....a watched pot never boils after all! ;)

My p-doc is very pleased that I'm starting to show my dogs again. It means that I'm really recovering after losing Zac. So really...it's ALL good!!

Lisa

Good luck with it all Lisa.

Lisa, you have a lot on your plate. I really hope you get your BFP within your deadline, and in the meantime that your psychiatrist and psychologist can help you be as well as you can.

Lisa - well u definately know u have my support all the way :hug:
Hope u get that :bfp: within ur deadline!!!!!!!! In the meantime enjoy ur dog - showing...sounds like fun :dance: and keep up the great work u seem to be doing with ur psychiatrist. U are a brave, strong and motivated woman and i've been enjoying sharing our TTC journey together so far :)

Hi Lisa,

Good luck with your whole journey. Quick question for you, have you discussed medication options with your psychiatrist and GP and whether there are alternative meds you can take that may be safe whilst TTC? I am a counsellor and know that meds do exist that are "safer" during pregnancy than others however this will depend all the details of your condition / history etc: Can I suggest that you review ALL your options before you give up TTC. Anyhow, good luck with it all, I will be thinking of you.

Yes, it has been discussed at great length.

Unfortunately, the medication that is best suited to me has not had a lot of trials done with regards to conception and the effects on the unborn baby. The majority of meds which can be prescribed do increase the risk of neural tube defects the most and given my family history AND my advanced age, the risks of these are increased significantly already so there is no wish to make the risks even higher again.

If I go onto the meds in November, my psychiatrist is more than happy for me to take them for 6 months to see how I go and then make a decision with regards to ttc after that. He is aware that I am charting and that I will know whether or not I am pregnant within days of it happening which will then give me a chance to weigh up the effects of the meds and the risks again. This is one instance where it is really handy to be charting and doing the POAS bit and where the old formula of dating a pregnancy 2 weeks before it actually happens will be useful.

Unfortunately, there is no guaranteed result of either meds OR ttc. If there were, the decision would be easy. But there are so many things to consider and my health is paramount no matter what.

Lisa

Wow, Lisa - what a decision to have to make! I sincerely hope that you can improve your health with the CBT and that you don't need to go back on the meds - or that you're pg by November anyway. Will pregnancy affect your condition at all? I imagine the hormones would have to do something? Good on you for staying strong, it mustn't be easy to cope with a mental illness, and there is so much misinformation and lack of compassion in society. You go girl. :hug:

Good luck Lisa. You sound really informed which is the most important thing. I have my fingers and toes crossed for you!!!!:)

Thank you so much!! :D

Sportychick, funnily enough, in some ways the pregnancy hormones help to level out some aspects of the illness but do tend to aggravate others. I do tend to be marginally better during the later part of pregnancy, but then, I've not had this much support leading up to, or available DURING a pregnancy before either. It's a matter of wait and see I guess.

Lisa